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You better start swimming or you'll sink like a stone
by anna at 09:13 PM on May 02, 2006
I've got a new look. When I went in for my biannual haircut my stylist-masseuse had moved on. In her place was someone who spoke no English but looked very stylish. Since she looked so good and communication was futile I let her have her way with what is left of my hair.
It is now combed straight back a la Michael Douglas as Gordon Gecko in Wall Street. I look quite predatory. Surprisingly several women I know have commented on it, all positive. You look great with your new hairstyle!
Like most guys I have no idea how to respond to such banter. First of all, the whole notion of using styling gel is repulsive. I feel like a metrosexual. But that is better than looking like some poofed-up disco idiot out of Saturday Night Fever.
But there's more to it than that. I idly wonder if they're coming on to me in some subtle way. For as any guy knows unnecessary words on the part of the opposite sex can only mean one thing.
So I walk into work and chance to hear one female exec entering the office of another. "Oh, don't you smell good," she exclaims. I can't imagine ever saying that to anyone let alone another dude.
There is such a huge difference in the way men and women communicate. There is a gal at my office who created quite the stir when she first arrived. Very curvy, very blonde, very young. Recently she was away for a while, dealing with the catastrophe in New Orleans.
She decided to change her look, perhaps to better suit the somber mood there. She dyed her hair a mousy, nondescript brunette shade and it looks like she took a butcher knife to it in a drunken fit of pique. And she's taken to wearing a full-length black leather coat indoors to complete her transformation to frumpiness. She is now a total dog. I want to take her aside and tell her this isn't working for her, but I can't. I'm a guy and we don't do that sort of thing.
comments (9)
Cool Haircut. I wonder how the impending hot summer weather will react to it.
How does you wife and kids like it?
How do the geese around the water pond at your office like it?
by LOCKHEED at May 3, 2006 4:38 PM
They haven't noticed. But as it gets warmer I need more and more of her styling mousse to keep it in place. She'll notice when that runs out. The geese are history. Now we have perigrine falcons.
by anna at May 3, 2006 6:14 PM
Well then you better buy stock in LOREAL, son.
by LOCKHEED at May 3, 2006 6:15 PM
Because I'm worth it? I've noticed that Rickie Sambora has upgraded from his hag Heather Locklear to sprightly Denise Richards. What is it about this guy and Tommie Lee?
by anna at May 5, 2006 7:44 AM
Didn't you see the videos?
Hung like donkeys!!!!
by Long Time Lurker at May 5, 2006 1:47 PM
I am probably the only donkey who's never seen the Lee-Anderson tape or the Paris Hilton thing. It's not for lack of trying. Where are they?
by anna at May 6, 2006 9:11 AM
Each of us
A cell of awareness
Imperfect and incomplete
Genetic blends
With uncertain ends
On a fortune hunt that's far too fleet
by LOCKHHED at May 7, 2006 10:57 PM
HOly Crap. Did MG shut down the server for this site?
by lockheed at May 11, 2006 4:15 PM
HOLY CRAP. BSBOT is CLOSED FOREVER. No SUMMER party in NYC to meet MG's Family?
by lock at May 12, 2006 12:50 PM