« It doesn't mean that much to me to mean that much to you | Main | wish I could breathe life in my new friend who's terribly still »
Say Anything
by anna at 06:17 PM on April 11, 2006
I have writer's block. And some dog inside my computer keeps going woof and then these pop-up things come in droves. I think it's called the Blackberry Virus. My son caused this problem but he can't (woof) fix it. So I can't shoulder (woof) the posting load here. Here's (woof) my challenge to you: Are (woof) you a writer here? Post something, anything, right now. Are you not a writer? Then post your post by adding a long comment to this one. C'mon everybody! Take one for the team.
comments (19)
WOOF!!
Did you open up the computer and get the dog out of there.
I know when I get writers block I go into the kitchen and get a banana and.......oh wait wrong thread.
Or you could just start humming the greatest song ever.
Who let the dogs out!!!
Come on ya'll sing it with me.
Who let the dogs out Woof Woof
Who let the dogs out Woof woof.
by Long Time Lurker at April 11, 2006 8:55 PM
That song may be bad, but it isn't as bad as some of the songs they play on classic rock. Think anything by Yes, Genesis, Queen or any of their former members. Not only is this music artsy and pretentious, but the songs are too long. Rock should not have interludes. Say what you will about punk and new wave, but at least they got to the point and then it was over. No drum solo.
by anna at April 12, 2006 7:24 AM
I'll even suggest a working title. It's one I've had for some time: Your Life in Shambles: What's Happened to Whitney Could Happen to You.
by anna at April 12, 2006 7:37 AM
Here's a POST:
TITLE: Of Chicken and Beef and fucking pussies
newsflash 1145pm, BOJ leaves rates unchanged...Hay was not in the mood for pizza tonight, but she ate it anyways, because she know's daddy is going to be tight and spartan going into the summer months of freakish tattoo concealing madness among other frequencies of massive insiduous irritation(and in this sense it will be the last season of these one way or the other) that can very well reach an epic level in a relative sense, but not really, just a firmer attempt at waking up dead... as such, the result will be initial unjust anger, sadness, and then some will walk away on both sides much wiser and grateful, while others will simply 'enhance' their state of ignorance, because old habits die fucking hard... Anyways, Wendy's out of the big three has always been my favorite, but lately, I've frequented the Burger King under the Rockefeller Center pathway, because as you will discover, two junior whoppers provide more meat per equivalent cubic centimeter cost per unit meat [I hereby refer to the acronym MECCCPUM](actually cheaper) than a regular whopper, and it's a sizeable spread. I was shocked to see $7.00 for a spicy chicken combo. It would have to be a special day for me to cough up that. However, because the 1980's heyday of the chicken tenders has been relegated to the muddy backwaters of their menu, it's a difficult task to actually find 'sweet n' sour' dip in your bag, even after firmly asking for it. Quite simply, if the employee actually goes out of their way to ask you 'what kind of sauce would you like?' the chances are HIGHER that you won't get sauce. That extra whopping mile of customer service is enough in their eyes to completely blank out immediately after deliverance of vocals. Anyways, you might know now that Burger King is going public. I for one, would like it to succeed, as their MECCCPUM margin seems to be stronger than the rest, not so the case with Blockbuster, which I was glad failed miserably and deservedly. I notice objectively that this post is not as 'glum and depressive' as some recent ones, but I can see my hands are sweaty as hell as midnight approaches, cyclothymic haha, yesterday was terrible, hence a natural reflexive reprieve tonight although logical conditions haven't changed, in fact have become darker, now sweating profusely... don't need no key to unlock this door, gonna break down the walls...
by Lockheed at April 12, 2006 2:39 PM
When I used to eat fast food I always refused to take my tray the trash. I ain't no bus boy. Y'all know that. But what you may not know is all the dirty looks I got. Mostly from people too young to recall that it wasn't always like this, self-serve, help yourself, serve yourself and these are provided for your protection, not ours.
by anna at April 12, 2006 5:20 PM
Awesome point, Anna.
On another tip, you never answered my question on homos.
Do they fast so their dicks don't get covered in shit? Because that's not sanitary buttsex.
by lockheed at April 12, 2006 8:59 PM
I dropped my brother off at pub recently, well I gave him a lift. He was in there so long I wound up tapping on fifty odd windows, and checking the main doors, and then the fires doors to see if I could get in. A woman in her mid-thirties early forties opened the door and I asked after my bro. She led me inside, and up stairs. Ta-daaa, there's my brother, sitting down smoking, watching clips from some Japanese film. He'd said he needed to pick something up, which is why we were there... he didn't say anything about sitting down to watch some foreign import crap while I sat in the car listening to shitty local radio.
He's sitting on some guys bed. "S'my mate, Craig." Is it? I give a shit. This guy, laying in his bed, with my brother sitting at the foot of it watching some Japanese tarts doing flips on the screen... has been in that very bed for almost eight weeks! He has bed sores! This guy is twenty-two years old, and he has bed sores! His parents are publicans, clearly, and he lives with them above the pub... and he hasn't moved in well over a month, almost two months anyway. He asks his mother to buy him DVD's when she goes out, but he never goes out! This guy was jus' laying there, DVD's in the collection were things like, a couple of seasons of 24, Galactica, fuckin' Mr Bean... Red Dwarf... Spaced. Movies galore alongside this television crap he'd amassed. He looks relatively normal, if a little... freaky in the eyes. lol
His reason for not getting out of bed was: "What's the point?"
S'like, "Shit, to rid yourself of the bed sores would be reason one! Maybe meet a girl and have some sex. Man, I'm not kidding, but it stinks in here!"
But, to my surprise, he has a girlfriend! She visits him daily, no doubt sits on his bed where my borther was sitting, and watches the endless drivel stored in near high-definition on the DVD's his mother brings home. Only in a century as messed up as this one can a twenty-two year old guy score a girlfriend while spending each and every day in bed. WTF is happening here? He was talking about characters from movies as if they were real. He tried to initiate a discussion about Return of the Jedi! Mind blowing, "What are you on you freak? My day was perfectly normal until this moment, meeting you. S'like the scene from Seven in here, all you're missing is the Magic Trees. Which you need, by the way." So from Return of the Jedi to Seven! No I don't want to talk about it, I'm just saying, it stinks, and it's creepy, open the curtains.
He gets up when he needs to use the bathroom, that's it. I don't doubt that if he could, he would wouldn't mind being fed by a machine and pissing into a bag, just to keep from getting up. He's so thin too. All of this compounded itself in my mind, a giant ball that formed one immensely pressing question for my brother: "How the good fuck did you meet this guy?"
"I know him from school."
"And what the fuck does that have to do with anything, how do you still know him? Why are we even here?"
"I'm buying some DVD's."
Good enough. £2 each? I picked up a couple myself. :)
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at April 17, 2006 12:36 AM
um, yah.
China's GDP for the Q1 of 2006? 10.25%. Dat's too much too fast...
by Lockheed at April 17, 2006 4:28 PM
So... sell.... or something? Bah, what do you want lock? lol Everything but the conversations are true, the guy had bed sores. I got me Kingdom of Heaven, History of Violence, and a collectors edition of Res Dogs. One of them is really good! £6... Crimson's NCO for the DVD of 2006... 600p. That's too little for such products!
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at April 17, 2006 8:07 PM
Hey WTF?
Where's my comments?
Lock is gay and so am I. But in a good way.
by Long Time Lurker at April 19, 2006 9:57 AM
Lockheed Special Guest on MAD MONEY with Jim Cramer tonight 4/18/06...
CNBC at 6:00pm, repeats at 9pm and Midnight.
I will be talking about the oil sector, among other things.
Live recording show at 6pm, 4/18/2006.
Can somebody record it for me, since I don't have recording devices?
by Lockheed at April 19, 2006 12:12 PM
EAST coast Badsam, midnight, anna, CNBC last chance to hear Lockheed talk about Halliburton. It's the caller from 'RI'.
by LOCKHEED at April 19, 2006 11:28 PM
Here is the clip of Lockheed speaking. I had to use my hometown of Rhode Island since too many NYC callers into that show.
http://homepage.mac.com/bornoffire1/iMovieTheater15.html
by Lockheed at April 20, 2006 2:41 PM
HERE's my POST...
*Soft Bigotry by definition cannot be 'intentional', as it pertains to subconscious bigotry that one doesn't realize pervade's one's thinking.
ex) It's perfectly okay for African-American men in this country, to blatantly say sexual shit to women passing by. But for any other man, all hell breaks loose upon them. This basically means, the woman who doesn't mind the black man overtly hitting on them actually harbors beliefs that they can be excused because they are 'primitive' in some ways.
Now, a derivative of soft bigotry: Last weekend, after a white acquaintance asked me about a lounge/club in my neighborhood that had a large line of Asians(yellow people) in front of it, I said, "Yeah, I been there once, there's a bunch of rooms, playing various music, usually either a lot of white people, or a lot of black people." My Acquaintance immediately said in astonishment like he was going to piss his pants, "What did you say???!!!" as soon as I concluded the statement with 'black people'.
Basically, the simple use of the words 'black people' to the White Acquaintance's mind immediately triggered overtones of racism, regardless if that was simply a pure observation in my statement. The use of the words, 'black people' makes him automatically think a 'negative statement' will follow. Why? When I hear the words, 'black people', I don't automatically think it's going to be a negative statement, maybe it's because I don't have 'white guilt'. Anyways, since WIMPS (well-intentioned-misguided-pussies) seem to be proliferating these days, to the point where I am now literally scared to say things like, "that's a rich tasting fudge, that's poor quality graphics, that's a black colored toyota...", I will answer the question next time as such: "Yeah, I been there once, usually a lot of humans there."
Now, for those of you who are reading this post, if you feel like it carries undertones of racism, then you are a soft bigot. I've stated data. Pure and Simple. And I'm not even fucking white or blueblooded, I'm a chinaman.
by LOCKHEED at April 21, 2006 10:37 PM
It is funny when you call yourself a chinaman. It is also funny when Mexican day laborers hoot and holler at my wife until she whirls around and screams that she's a grandmother.
by annna at April 22, 2006 11:34 AM
Gilf!!!!
Hot grandmas in leather!
I call myself a white trash with money.
Is it racist to call yourself a derogatory name?
by Long Time Lurker at April 22, 2006 1:25 PM
nope. it's only racist if you take actions or inactions to hurt the target race. And that's all folks. Jokes are for fun.
by Lockheed at April 24, 2006 3:51 PM
I have a Paki friend I call eight ball (and Paki, clearly). He calls me cue ball and pussy. He also calls me "fucking British pussy", even though he was born and raised in Bradford, England. Which makes him as British as I am. He calls virtually everyone "pussy". The only time I've seen him stray from his religion is when he fell for a Chinese lass in college. Her dad and his dad when they found out, went crazy. He suddenly became a "fucking British pussy" when the arranged marriage thing reared its head. He went looking to buy a house, and was asking all of us to recite the freedoms of British people - not well-read like that see - as he was clinging to his British passport. The Chinese lass soon moved on, and he didn't buy his own place, and pretty soon he was working in his dad's take-away again cursing "British laws and British people" once more.
I find it mental that his, his father's, and his brother's names are all Mohamed. This prophet thing, if you have it before your real first name, you're not likely to forget your religion eh. Good system. I once had him eat some Roasted Ham Walkers crisps... veectory! Watching him spit when I tld him the flovour was muchos satisfying. "S'artificial flavour, ya Paki." He makes jibes about British laws being shit, and sings the laws of Pakistan like they're perfect. Removing the hands of thieves, and all that jive. Strikes me that half of the Pakistani justice system, minus the removal of body parts... is derived from British Colonial law when Britain occupied what was then India. Maybe the removal of hands was a British punishment, I dunno. British colonialism. Meh. White guilt anyone?
Virtually everybody I know, in the coming elections, is going to be voting BNP. There's some fear that the face of the country is changing with the influx of asylum seekers and other immigrants. Most believe that their grandchildren will barely recognise the country as it is today... or was a few years ago. So as the foundation of their vote, they're citing the lives of their grandchildren as reasons for it. I reckon I'm living in something akin to Germany before the Nazi party made a showing. People, even my own family, are talking about people... as if they're not people. Crime rates are higher, those "Koso's" are never caught because they're technically not living anywhere, or no description of one can be discerned from another. Muslims able to carry knifes by law are killing one another, and 'white Brits' in the streets. Binge drinking on the rise leaves pissed women exposed to rape (of course white males aren't responsible, that's ludricous). The only oppressed males in the country... it seems... are white males. In the minds of white males, and their white female counterparts. Classic. They can't say boo without some PC law slapping them in the face. Riiight.
S'like, shit. I'd like to think if my country was pulled into a war, that I felt on my doorstep, I lose half my family and trek halfway across the world to find work to support what family I had left behind... I'd like to think the country letting me in wasn't going around rallying support for a rascist party to try and keep an identity that the country shouldn't cling to. Trying to kick me out, because say, I'm a dozy white guy with barely a trade or skill to call my own to benefit their country.
My own dad was talking about the West finding an alternative fuel, "If you leave those ragheads with their oil in the Middle-East, pull out western funds, they'll be riding camels and be starving in their streets inside a week. Those Africans starving out there, charity organisations have been asking me for money since I was a teenager, and still they're breeding like dogs and dying as fast... and they're still asking me for money." I spend half my time listening to rascist banter, nodding, trying to fathom the why's of it. My brother keeps telling me about war dreams he's having. "War's coming." lol
Lockheed: 'white guilt' - Seems nobody this side of the Atalantic feels it. Heh.
I'm voting Green Peace lol, fuck it... I can barely imagine a Britain with the BNP in charge. Enoch Powell types, and everything failing except, maybe, the perpetual kicking of a British Dr Martin boot ejecting non-Brit's from the country. The mad thing is... I want to leave, heh. So many people are trying to get in, and I wanna get out. New Zealand, my brother reckons. Or Australia. Have family in both so they're both an option. Shit, when I leave I'd offer my place, gladly, to some young fella fresh from a war torn country, to use my place and get a job, and send cash home to his wife or whatever.
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at April 25, 2006 8:53 PM
Heh, 1000 foreign nationals released from British prisons, and not deported is the news today. Great! Murderers, rapists, and bogeymen... roaming the streets. I love my country.
*packs his bags*
by Ex Crimson guard NCO at April 26, 2006 8:19 AM