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when you want her lips, you get a cheek, makes you wonder where you are
by mg at 01:01 AM on February 08, 2006
Amidst much hullabaloo, the woman who received the first ever face transplant spoke publicly for the first time on Monday.
While she is a medical miracle, to be truthful, she was not the recipient of the first face transplant, but rather the third. The first (and second) ever facial transplants were performed quite a number of years ago and the story was told in the documentary film Face Off. At least I’m pretty sure that was a documentary.
There are so many ridiculous things about this face transplant story that it is difficult to know where to start. To begin with, the woman lost her face because she passed out from overdosing on sleeping pills and her dog started chowing on her grill. I've been passed out from drink and drugs more than once (okay, every night from about 1998-2003), but I can honestly say I've never been so far gone that something could have started gnawing on my face before I woke up.
Secondly, the woman who donated her nose, chin, and lips for the transplant died because she had successfully committed suicide. The woman who received the nose, chin, and lips, from what I can gather from the sleeping pill overdose, probably tried to commit suicide herself, but failed (and miserably, I might add). I imagine it is tough to wake up each morning, take a long look into your eyes in the mirror, and be faced with the horrible results of your own failure. But to then to look down a little south from your eyes to your nose, lips, and chin and see the face of someone who had succeeded where you failed has got to be a real kick in the groin.
The third ridiculous aspect of this story is that a number of the news articles made sure to point out that the patient had started chain smoking again. Now, it probably doesn’t need to be said, but I’m not a doctor. Still, I can’t imagine that someone who’d just had some skin stapled to their face shouldn’t be too near open flames. Am I the only one who saw that episode of I Love Lucy?
The fourth, and most ridiculous, fact in this entire ridiculous story is that the woman who had the face transplant was visited in the hospital by a man who'd received a double hand transplant. I'd be so worried that if he tried to stroke her face the universe would explode like when matter and anti-matter come into contact on Star Trek.
Watching the video of her talking to the press made me wonder. Would I rather be so physically deformed that it is obvious and unquestionable, like say having dog tooth imprints running across my cheek, and deal with people staring at me for that, or would I rather be only slightly but still obviously deformed, like having some skin hanging off my skull like a loose pair of cargo pants, and have people staring at me trying to figure out exactly what was wrong?
I think I’d almost rather be horribly disfigured, rather than be slightly disfigured. What about you?
comments (14)
Chowing on her grill? Isn't that her tits? Or is that her "rack." I'm so confused.
And wouldn't it have been easier to pump the dog's stomach and get her old visage back? Dumb French. D'oh.
by anna at February 8, 2006 7:49 AM
Yes, would rather be Horribly Disfigured, (not my face), but the rest of my body... than be covered with the tattoos I have...
by lockheed at February 8, 2006 12:48 PM
The choices are horribly or slightly? Slightly please, a few scars around the face... no probs. Horribly disfigured... I can't help but picture war vets that have been so horribly burned they barely look human, or that Russian kid in the news lately who lost his tail and legs while taking a beating fom his comrades on orders from his CO. No penis... say it with me, and imagine it... "No penis."
Oooo, my life would end. Slightly is a clear winner.
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at February 8, 2006 1:18 PM
Good golly! The amazing things they're doing with medical technology these days! Now if they could only figure out how to do a penis transplant, you may FINALLY start to feel adequate.
by eviltom at February 8, 2006 5:52 PM
Slightly? NO... major equates to 'accident'....not SELF INFLICTED DISFIGUREMENT... as is the case with my fucking full torso full arm tattoos...
by lOCKHHEED at February 8, 2006 7:34 PM
hey everyone, i think i need to clarify my earlier comment about mg's small penis. a couple of folks have emailed and said my comment came off as sounding mean, which was totally not my intention. in my post, i didn't include one additional point of detail, which should make things more clear... in referring to mg's tiny pecker, i should have mentioned that the reason his pee pee is to wee wee is because a dog chewed it off some years ago, when mg passed out from too many sleeping pills.
i hope that clarifies things. sorry of my comment sounded mean.
by eviltom at February 8, 2006 9:16 PM
Tom, you seem preoccupied with my unit. Why is that?
by mg at February 8, 2006 11:00 PM
People emailed you? Mad. The person who owns the email addy linked from name here has gotten a marked rise in junk mail I'll wager, but I doubt he gets mail from visitors here. Heh.
Lock, tatts aren't a disfigurement in my book matey, unless you look like the Red Dragon or something, standing butt nekkid before folk you've kidnapped, showing off your reels of victims whose eyes you've replaced with lil bits of mirror. Uh... yeah, tatts are just tatts, people don't look at you wonder what happened, or stare at you and instantly decide you're an idiot for having them... they just see a guy with tatts.
You got any pics lying around of yourself without the tatts? Do the Ralph Fiennes thing: "Before the transformation... do you see? Reborn... do you see? Before... do you see? Reborn... do you see? Do you see? Do you see?"
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at February 8, 2006 11:13 PM
why do you say i am preoccupied with your unit? i'm not.
by eviltom at February 9, 2006 7:05 AM
I am. I stilll have a picture of MG's dick and balls on my nightstand.
by anna at February 9, 2006 7:34 AM
not only do you have the picture on your nightstand... you have the full collection of "mg dick and balls" paraphenalia. you have the "mg dick and balls" silicon cast mold up your ass. you also have the "mg dick and balls" bong in your mouth. (the bong water still tastes bad.)
by eviltom at February 9, 2006 7:40 AM
THANKS CRIMSON... HERE'S A LINK TO ONE OF MY TATS:
http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7347/605/1600/hay%20003.jpg
Some are on my blog www.tradinganddrugs.blogspot.com
by lockheed at February 9, 2006 12:44 PM
hi mg
by eviltom at February 9, 2006 10:15 PM
I haven't thought about nasty bong water in a long time.
by anna at February 10, 2006 7:52 AM