A huge uproar is developing over the sale of operations of shipping ports in York, New Jersey, Baltimore, New Orleans, Miami and Philadelphia to Dubai Ports, a state-owned business in the United Arab Emirates. President Bush has assured that every precaution has been taken to ensure the safety of this country: "If there was any chance that this transaction would jeopardize the security of the United States, it would not go forward."
Personally, I don’t see what all the fuss is about. Just because we are fighting a war that has pitted us against a largely Arab enemy, doesn’t mean that every Arab is out to get us. I stand by Bush on his decision to fight for this sale to continue, and for the rest of the following policy changes and appotments that are also being proposed.
Susan Smith has been named director of the South Carolina Department of Children and Family Services. President Bush defended the appointment, saying “Only her own kids were dragging her down, she really likes other people’s kids. And I hear she has a steady boyfriend now who likes kids too.”
Mary Kay Letourneau has been appointed the chief of Office of Innovation and Improvement in the Department of Education. President Bush defended the decision, “Throughout her career Mary Kay has come up with many innovated ways to motivate her students. She is a great teacher, and now has new opportunities to practice her love with children.”
Orenthal James Simpson has been seated as the chair of a committee to study domestic violence. President Bush, defending the appointment, said “I don’t read newspapers, and I don’t know what the Juice’s background, but I did overhear one of my staffers saying that OJ was real experienced with domestic violence. Besides, he’s a fucking Heisman winner, that’s gotta count for something.”
Operations of the Department of Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) has been handed over to Anker West Virginia Mining. “Hey,” said President Bush defending his action, “there weren’t any fatal disasters while they were in charge Sago mine.” The President added, “It was actually weeks later when the mine collapsed,” killing 12.
Mike Brown has been tasked with heading the National Weather Service. Defending his move, President Bush said “Oh, Brownie, he’ll do a heck of a job."
Exxon Valdez captain Joseph Hazelwood has been named director of Water for the Environmental Protection Agency. President Bush defended the appointment, “If anyone about being a drunk, getting in trouble, and then turning your life around it’s me. That Hazie will do a heck of a job.”
add your own - it's easy!
by mg at February 22, 2006 9:37 AM
Uh... Gordon Brown, former Chancellor to the Treasury has at last taken the role as Labour Party leader. President Bush offered congratulations to the new Prime Minister saying, "Who, the what party? Good for him."
I'm poo at this game. :(
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at February 22, 2006 3:50 PM
POOP on Political SATIRE.... Poop and diarrhea Smell....
Old HAT, MG... you're becoming OLD HAT.
by LOCKHEED at February 22, 2006 9:32 PM
You know how I live for your approval Lock.
by mg at February 22, 2006 10:50 PM
Envy is such an ugly emotion
by Long Time Lurker at February 23, 2006 9:56 AM
I may be old hat, but at least I don't refer to my tattoos as if they were people or have sex with cats.
by mg at February 23, 2006 7:51 PM
Former Olympic figure skater, Rudy Galindo, has been tapped to chair The Committee Of People Who Make MG Look More Manly By Comparison.
by Eviltom at February 23, 2006 9:23 PM
Relax, MG... just poking some old fashioned BadSam internal warfare is all...
...just miss those heated days of lore...
by LOCKHEED at February 23, 2006 10:56 PM
ich, I'm not sold on why the take over should be stopped. The company played by the rules set up in our system. The rules need to be changed though. Even still, there are issues with the take over and the rules should be changed to prevent those in the future, such as letting state owned companies buy non-state owned companies (the cause of this issue in the first place). State owned companies have unfavor advantages over normal companies in that they have nearly unlimited funds if their owner government chooses to use tax-payer money or national debt in their operations.
by fcsuper at February 24, 2006 12:42 PM
The Carlisle Group has put in a bid to buy the monopolised communications company my end, my ISP, bah. £400.000... they say. I wonder if we'll get free phone taps like you guys State-side? ;)
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at February 24, 2006 5:07 PM
I'll tell you why it should be stopped, aren't we supposed to hate all Arabs? I mean, isn't that why we got into this war on terror?
by mg at February 24, 2006 11:16 PM
China runs their own port in LA. So do alot of other foreign companies on the West Coast. But something about a Middle Eastern country running all of the port operations does concern me.
But really, our ports aren't secure now so why get excited about it? Is having a Middle Eastern country running some of our most important East Coast ports really the way to go?
I know I'll sleep easier at night know that they are there.
by Long Time Lurker at February 25, 2006 2:19 AM
MG, that's definitely the most interesting thing about this.
by jean at February 26, 2006 10:17 PM