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This voice keeps whispering in my other ear
by anna at 08:02 AM on January 17, 2006
You might think there's nothing worse, nothing more demeaning, than farting is someone's face while they are going down on you. You might be wrong.
It all started when a new case came in. The injured party (formerly the claimant) had the odd surname of Hoosyadadi. We started joking about it and a friend/coworker shared an anecdote about her ex-husband and an intimate encounter they had. I am forever scarred.
They were going at it hot and heavy when he slapped her on the ass and exclaimed, "Who's your daddy?!" Now how dehumanizing is that? First off, it implies that there is some question as to your parentage. In other words your mother is a whore. Or, if it a rhetorical question to which the obvious answer is the guy asking it, then you get into a whole creepy incestuous realm and...
Talking dirty is a tricky business best left to professionals. For instance, "Who's your daddy" has an innately black ring to it, like "yo, yo, yo." A white person might decide to go with the more grammatically correct, "Say, who is your father?" And that just doesn't work at all.
You'll note I said ex-husband.
comments (10)
Wtf? so sfu
by LOCKHEED at January 17, 2006 12:45 PM
What's sfu? It sounds dirty whatever it is.
by anna at January 18, 2006 7:35 AM
He's requesting that you stop talking.
Shut the fuck up!
Also written as stfu.
I think it has to do with him not being an author and you are.
by Long Time Lurker at January 18, 2006 10:58 AM
Overall, these things make me sad... i fear i'm writing this in a foreboding misery... logic that I tried to mask by going with Mum and the kids to the park and speaking with the ducks and geese, nonetheless, I taught Hayheehoo at a young age to reflexively approach all encounters with frequencies, methodologies, and especially popular opinion or social sentiments, with a healthy level of skepticism. I also made sure she didn't fall into the destructive habit of 'disparaging' what she admired or aspired to, but could not attain... As such, she learned the positive methods of preserving one's integrity, and does not fall into the 'subconscious' traps of detrimental ego protection... She's learning the difference between identifying healthy dependencies, and detrimental dependencies(both material and non material)...like good spending and bad spending, and not just money, but more importantly, 'energy'. This goes along the lines of 'conspicuous consumption' (whether you have the means and especially if you don't), and moreover, 'Conspicuous Non-Consumption', which is the ironic high maintenance processes it takes to adhere to a standard of living that is contrivingly low maintenance and even dangerous to long term progress, in the hopes of achieving a childish idealism or fit into a retarded self-destructive image of common rebellion, or the romantic notion of virtue in absolute peasanthood , which is simply an equally fatal extreme. The only real equalizer amongst humans is first, the acknowledgement of one's current place and a reasonable forecasting of one's future potential, and thereupon, the optimizing of one's natural ability to generate progress in one's sphere of control; and Only in that sense, is man created equal... It's a difficult but important pill to swallow... No more blind handouts and handjobs... advocates of blind handouts to the supposedly 'downtrodden' or 'oppressed' don't even realize that one of the reasons why they feel this way is because they subconsciously 'look down upon them'... Hayheehoo does not, and her porcelain will endure far beyond my flesh...
She has no choice but to rip the head off of fairy idealism and shit down its neck...
by LOCKHEED at January 18, 2006 2:01 PM
Ahem. I am so confused.
by anna at January 19, 2006 8:48 AM
I spose if you're really into it you could just take a deep breath of methane, dramatically savour it as it rips forth, and conjure something on a par with who's your daddy by way of dirty talk.
I'm liking these post revivals.
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at January 20, 2006 10:48 AM
Don't try to understand anna. He's on a roll.
by Long Time Lurker at January 20, 2006 12:39 PM
People seem to feel free to do the strangest things during sex. I mean, not even people who are specifically into doing strange things during sex. One time in college a friend pulled me aside and told me some gossip about a certain person's sexual habits. They involved flashlights. This guy had made a pass at me at a party a few months before. I was so glad I hadn't been interested. He was nice, but he seemed completely staid and didn't seem to have any interests besides getting his degree. It was a boring, practical degree, too. Ah, but once the lights are off...
Oh, I'll just answer myself. Once the lights are off, the flashlights go on!
by jean at January 20, 2006 7:43 PM
Something about sticking it when the sun don't shine? Illuminating.
Just let your freak flag fly!!!
by Long Time Lurker at January 21, 2006 2:39 PM
Y'all are bunch of freaks. in a good way.
by anna at January 23, 2006 5:39 PM