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I got a limo ride in the back, I lock the doors in case I'm attacked
by anna at 05:54 PM on January 06, 2006
Angelina Jolie has lips the size of a life preserver. She will never drown. Guys like big lips, which is a huge boon to the collagen mining industry. Most of them can instantly envision hers wrapped around their tools. But they are prominent enough without slathering them with bright red lipstick to accentuate them all the more. Yet she seems to do just that every time she's photographed. I'd hate to have to wash her wine glasses.
Guys like big jugs too. But they can get to a point where the best word to desccribe the woman's appearance is cartoonish.
Ditto for long legs, or what was once known as "gams." Guys figure if they are long enough to wrap around your waist twice, that is twice as good. And yet they can be too long. Uma Turman has mil long gams and Ethan Hawke dumped her for some Canadian model who doesn't even appear on the 'net let alone have multiple photo galleries. (Search for Jen Perzow, you'll never find her.)
Guys like girls who look bewitching. And certainly Lisa Marie Presley fits the bill. In fact, she takes it too far too. You'd half expect her to put a freaking spell on you. Maybe that is what happened to species-unto-himself Michael Jackson.
Which, in a roundabout way, brings me to my point. There's a lobbyist in my town who is in a heap of trouble. His name is Jack Abramoff. His main clients are the Indian tribes who've achieved the ultimate comeuppance with their casino gambling windfall. Turns out he's cheated them out of millions, bribed multiple congressmen and agency officials, evaded taxes and committed mail fraud.
In this town, influence-peddling is a badge of honor. It is the same as clout. You are judged by how much legislation or agency rulings you can buy on behalf of your clients. It's a sleazy business to be sure, but you people keep sending 1/3 of your paychecks here, so we have to work doubletime to ensure that we spend it all and more. Wouldn't want any Indians to go hungry or lack firewater when you could support their lavish ganbling-based lifestyles now would we?
Abramoff just went too far. He didn't realize that sometimes less is more. Sometimes you have to tone things down a little or it becomes too obvious, and an embarassment. Hence you'd be hard pressed to find someone in this town who'd admit to dealing with him. And yet, for five years, things were so nice. Lord, they were lovey-dovey.
He had his slimy fingers in everybody's pie. Now, in a stroke of twisted irony, crazed convicts are going to have their rods in his pie at the most inopportune times of the night and day. Heh-heh.
Remember, less is more.
comments (10)
Are comments broken?
by mg at January 11, 2006 8:29 AM
You're Broken MG....
let me post...
by lockhhed at January 11, 2006 4:34 PM
No it's the post that's broken.
by anna at January 11, 2006 6:51 PM
All I know is I'm on a comment posting strike until lockheed can be an author!!!!
by Long Time Lurker at January 12, 2006 11:25 AM
That strike didn't go too well LTL. :/
On the topic... uh... I was gonna ramble on about the lips and rack that the alien-esque Angelina is blessed with. But I figure I'm constantly swinging anna's posts off the point if he even hints at a female body part in any part of it. *resists all urges* So... all I've got is:
Oh, some dude I've never before heard of - and whose name I've already forgotten - lived a half decent life somewhere near the top of the food chain and is now being ass raped by heavy set convicts on a daily basis. Glad it's not me. :)
This, my comment...this sucked... as hard and long as I imagine Angelina could with those giant chapped looking lips of hers. She has the long fingers for the stroking action and a rack you pitch a tent on... she isn't Jon Voight's daughter! She was created by a couple of teenagers with bras on their heads... and she ain't even a scratch on Kelly LeBrock, so these teens sucked at creating a fantasy woman! Sucked as hard and long as I imagine Angelina could with her... *sigh*
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at January 12, 2006 8:21 PM
The original version said she had the most bloated lips ever seen on a white person. But I choked.
by anna at January 13, 2006 7:46 AM
Jon Voight's lips look like they are prone to chapping.
Many females don't like Angelina Jolie, but I like her.
by jean at January 15, 2006 6:01 PM
Reality check: Most native Americans do not have "lavish ganbling-based lifestyles."
by MrBlank at January 15, 2006 8:40 PM
Turns out that Abramoff is a big-time Orthodox Jew, which does little to contradict my impression of the Orthodox as hypocritical, self-righteous guys in funny hats. You wanna be righteous? Do righteous things. This stuff, this should be enough to get you kicked outta da club.
by Adam at January 16, 2006 2:34 AM
Prediction: This Abramoff fellow is going to bring down some big-time pols. He's a poison pill.
by anna at January 16, 2006 7:44 AM