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You're much too young girl
by anna at 06:32 PM on November 07, 2005
Parents of students at a local high school are in a huff, all because 3 football players were caught having sex with two girls in the auditorium after school hours. Well, maybe not sex as so narrowly defined by Bill Clinton. Technically it was hummers.
These 5 were slapped with 10 day suspensions, while 3 guys who merely watched the orgy got off with a slap on the wrist. I think they got it backwards. The 5 were just doing what has always come natural to teens, whereas the 3 voyeuristic perverts must be sick in the head.
The parents feigned outrage at these randy antics, as if they didn't do the same types of things back in the day. This prompted one student to muse, "Why are our parents shocked? They were the ones who invented the sexual revolution." Actually she's got that wrong too. The so-called sexual revolution occurred in the 60s. Her parents are children of the late 70s and early 80s. Like me. We were born into the anything-goes aftermath of the supposed sexual revolution. Sex to us was like a god-given birthright---just as we had the mind-bending drugs without the enlightenment and the long hair without the shock value. With the Nam debacle long over, we were rebels without a cause. We were violent, materialistic hippies.
I say so-called because I bet in the 60s most folks dated exclusively and when a certain trust level was attained, they did it. Just like in the 50s and maybe even the 40s. It's the same deal as with the war protests. If even 50,000 people showed, that means a million or so didn't. They were too busy tending to the mundane details of their lives to be bothered with unfurling banners. Just as most folks are apathetic about the fiasco in Iraq. It ain't our problem.
But I digress. The article I read went on to add that everyone knows teens knock boots. It's just not done on the school grounds, or so they'd have you believe. The writer cited stats that says half of teens 15-19 have had sex as defined by Clinton and an unspecified "higher number" had given or received slobbery oral. No word about those so-called "anal virgins."
Judging by my experience in the 70s the vaginal sex percentage seems to have actually decreased. By graduation everyone had done the deed, except people other people found repugnant. And the ones that didn't wanted to. Twasn't a moral issue, except with this one Mormon virgin everyone did at the post-grad trip to the beach.
Two things have changed: 1) The sex almost always occured in the context of a relationship, loosely defined as "having driven around aimlessly with a person at least twice." The concept of "hooking up" was unheard of. See, back then you still had such alien concepts as a "reputation" and "shame." 2) This business with casual oral being dispensed with all the forethought once given to a goodnight smooch. Back then oral was a big deal, a treat reserved for prom night or some such thing.
I guess you had to be there.
comments (25)
Splendid...
slapping cock...
...did they jump into their pick up trucks with a 'clock with no hands' and ask,"what time is it?" and say,'no time'...
by lockheed at November 7, 2005 8:37 PM
Ah, Dave. Did he fall off the shrimping boat or was he pushed? If he was pushed, it had to what he called one of those be here now moments.
by anna at November 8, 2005 7:39 AM
Sort of racist, but this is funny.
The setting: Louisiana
The cast: Sherrif, civilians, dead black man, tree, ropes
The sheriff is called in to investigate a dead body strung up in a tree with 30 stab wounds, and 35 bullet holes.
"Gah-lee! Worst case of suicide I ever done seen!"
T'is a immoral debauched world we tread.
"You bastards! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!"
Texas is haveing the vote on a constitutional ammendment to ban gay marrigaes. I PERSONALLY would rather deport them all to California or France. How will you vote?
Rioters in France strike again. They feel that the nation that went out of its way to accept scum injto its borders that no oother nation in its right mind would, and they repay the "Preverted" nation by arson.
"Yipee Kay-yea mother fuckers!"
Serves em right I figure....
Tad bit presumtous of the people to think that they DESERVE anything but excecution.
I miss the firing squad on the runway.
Good old USSR. Burn in hell.
-1138
by Clonereject1138 at November 8, 2005 2:17 PM
Oh ya, racism is a real hoot. I think clonereject's entire comment could have been shortened to the T-shirt cliche, "Kill 'em all. Let God sort 'em out." Let's see, anyone for a history lesson? First person to think of a recent popular historical figure who advocated deportation of homosexuals, and that minorities are scum and deserve to be executed gets to go to the head of the class! With just the right economically depressed xenophobic nation, clonereject could have quite a bright political future!
You know I used to think the keyword of that kill 'em all statement was kill, because it seemed so dramatic, decisive, and final. But through clonereject's musings I realize that the key word is actually THEM. For instance, you'd never see a T-shirt that reads: Let us all be killed, and sorted by God.
by chris at November 9, 2005 4:15 AM
The odd thing about this thread is it has nothing to do with the post. I had kind of hoped that by shamelessly slipping all those juicy Google-search words in there I'd attract some lonely perverts.
Oh wait that didn't come out right.
Alas and alack.
Damn straight Chris.
by anna at November 9, 2005 7:49 AM
I had to leave a truly beautiful 23 year old in her own gorgeous home at around 1 a.m the morning before yesterday. Everything was great, we left the club, she hadn't been drinking and drove me to her house, in a Clio 16V which smelled fairly new, her house was a promotion of IKEA furniture with the odd item of teenagehood still sneakily in place, like a teddy bear on the chair of her vanity table in the bedroom.
So, things were good, no coffee, no shit, just up to the bedroom. I don't know where it came from but I just started thinking. Thinking way too much. About fuck all relevent to the situation. I was jammed in automatic while peeling clothes off and kissing with some degree of skill, she initiated oral, which was alright by me because my head was a mess. Now, I'd say what I had was a semi, it was like my penis was waiting for my head to get in gear so that it could use the blood my brain was stealing to stand up straight. This was a living nightmare for what seemed like a very long time, but that was probably no more than five or six minutes.
Thoughts were: "What am I doing?" "What's her name?" "Where am I?" "Does she have a boyfriend?" "Is she on the rebound?" "Why the HELL don't I have a hard on!?" And weirder thoughts were: "Did I get the last round in, or am I gonna take some shit for not putting in my share?"
I wound up half leaping, half falling off the bed, pulling on my jeans, and going into a speech about breeders and rakes and, repeated a lot was, "Sorry but I can't." And, "This hasn't happened to me before." She told me that I didn't have to leave. But I swear to good god I just wanted out.
When I closed her front door, scooted across the garden, passed the Clio in the drive, and started walking along the path, I realised I had absolutely no idea where I was. I managed to find the little quadrant of shops for her estate and realised I was in the extreme west of the city, I live in the east. From every quadrant you can follow the main roads and it'll take you around and to just about every other estate. Looong fucking walk. Loooot o' time to think. No mobile phone, cos I hate them, so I couldn't call a taxi.
Mental night! That is number three on my list of bad experiences. And to make it worse, because I didn't know if this gal, Gemma I now know, I hate that name too. I didn't know if she knew any of the lasses that I go out with, so I had to confess my inability to strike an erect pose just in case word got out that it happened and whispers start flying, rather than it being common knowledge that hey, I'm okay with. Man, what a fucking night. I'm beyond regret though, waking up that day with a bulging hard on made me chuckle. I'm putting it down to divine intervention, there was no sign of me using a condom I sure as shit didn't have any, she didn't strike me as the type to care, I reckon some god somewhere has saved me from some virus... I'm content with that, so that's how I'm coping.
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at November 9, 2005 11:26 AM
I'm of more the impression that hook ups and other sexual adventures have been around as long as people have been around. Just with the past 2000 years, it's all gone underground with the raise of Christianity and Islam. Look at how the Roman's lived, and what they considered vice and virtue. It's almost an opposite of the values in Christianity. People are people. People have sex in all sorts of ways. When the act became taboo, it moved underground, but it still prevailed. Up until the 60's sexual revolution, it stayed there. Before then, everyone either pretended to follow along, or was dupped in to following without question. Now, its more in the open, though some still critize free sex behavior. That said, it isn't for everyone and it isn't even something one can do for life (usually) anyway. Do it while you can, but hey, be smart about it. :)
by fcsuper at November 9, 2005 4:23 PM
Grr....yes we should kill em, but I was TRYING to be nice!!!!
But the vote has been decided and the asbominations can't get married in Texas as it is against the Texas constitution, yet still, some liberal fanatics(or homosexualls who feel they wernt represented) are declaring the constitution unconstitutional.
But lets not kill, lets love and forgive, and work together for the greater good, and since none of us are perfect, lets instead of persecutiong for out shortcomings, work together for a brighter future.
*pant*
Killing is such a pure, emotionless action, pure act, no perverted feelings such as pleasure(just sounds debauched) lust, passions. *shudder*
C U in the asylum.
-1138
Dammit, no! Dont kill, love, please, love! Love and be loved, live and let live, and sacrifice through love, for the betterment of mankind!
There....I said it....
Grrr! You heretic! You fool, blaspheming God's perfect creation! You deserve a place in the pit with the rest of them!
No, master, have mercy! Show the Love that God has showed!
Silence heretic! I sentence you to 20 years of celebracey. No go, and live your life in the tundra of Siberia.
Woohoo! Im going to Russia!
by Clonereject1138 at November 9, 2005 5:40 PM
Note the fall of the perverted Roman epire, alonng with the fall of Persia, Babalon, Greece, and France.
by Clonereject1139 at November 9, 2005 5:43 PM
Ohhhhhh.... reject, I thought you were suggesting that we deport all *TEXANS* to California or France. I guess not.
I personally think that THAT would be a better solution. Well, except for the cool ones.
by leaffin at November 9, 2005 6:31 PM
Like the stereotypical (and probably mythical) 60s flower child, those Romans loved their debauchery. But that was the prominent ones. I bet your average Roman commonfolk led pretty monogamous lives, albeit with boys on the side.
The only times I've encountered this, er... problem is when someone has expected me to get down to business immediately. That's a little intimidating.
Oh, and when stone-cold drunk.
by anna at November 10, 2005 7:44 AM
Send the Texan women to the UK... I've always had a thing for that accent. I always imagine some fit American cowgirl on my TV screen if I'm in the kitchen making tea and hearing the accent sailing into my ears. EVREYTIME I've walked back into the lounge with my unfinished cup just to look at the TV, I always see some heaving fat almost-human woman sitting next to her husband and his streamlined, stereotypical country cop tash. Damn it!
I gotta admit the gal playing with my semi, intimidated me, not in any sexual context, but on a different level. 23 with her own very nice family house in need of a family, own car, etc. That and the more I think about it, the more I'm left open to: "So she hadn't been drinking? You didn't register her name? She was pretty quick to drive you to her house and didn't hesitate leading you straight upstairs. You could have been sleeping after business and woken to find your hands cuffed to a giant wheel bearing the motif of Hecate or something, and with this too good looking girl brandishing a ceremonial knife or two."
Seriously, it had more to do with the fact that I liked everything about her, her choice of home, her all round get up... it scares me when I start thinking 'settling down here would be good.' My goal of becoming a lonely old man with a hundred stories to tell that youngsters simply won't believe, would go right out the window.
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at November 10, 2005 8:50 AM
Actually, you dont get te accent except when you go north of Longview. From ther to Georgia, the accent is VERY strong. Where I live, most women are of Mexican heritage, and if you are an abomination, you end up floating face down in the Rio Grande. Sadly, people are more leniant nowdays.
by Clonereject1138 at November 10, 2005 9:45 AM
Aw, permit me my stereotypes, I'm a Johnny Foreigner. :( So...
Fit Texan women ride horses all day, have legs that could blind a man, and wear skimpy torn denim shorts, with cowboots and and the standard wild west cowboy hats, and wear lumberjack shirts tied up exposing flat stomachs, great abs, and a waist you wanna wrap your arms around. They have curly bouncing locks and sport the golden tan of Greek goddesses.
Fat Texan women appear on my television screen talking to some C-list American celebrity whose name is well known enough to warrant a talk show. Everybody knows that being well known qualifies you to give people advise on their relationships and family stresses. The fat Texans in my stereotypical head, are a rare breed, the fit Texans are too busy breaking in wild horses to care about teleivion chat shows.
I wouldn't sport a semi in the presence of a stripping cowgirl, at any rate.
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at November 10, 2005 12:58 PM
Lol, not if you were smart, or any Texas for that matter.
I must say, Ive traveled the state, and have NEVER met a girl that mets your description. Sounds like the american dream.
by Clonereject1138 at November 10, 2005 1:34 PM
Oh they're out there alright, on a giant ranch, this place, this giant ranchwith acres upon acres of land, it's full of em. I'll find it... oh yes...
Heh, can't believe the number of errors in my last post... I'm still a little upset about the other night, *sob*, it's fucking with my Chi!
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at November 10, 2005 4:24 PM
Well we have our stereotypes about Brit women too. All reserved and demure, sticking their little fingers out from their teacups. The same little finger they'll later discreetly shove up your ass and then lick clean. Splendid, darling.
by anna at November 10, 2005 7:05 PM
That's true! But not of 'Brit' women. Brit encompasses three and a half diverse cultures. English, just one. But even then you have countys that differ from one to the next. So for the up tight, I'm all that, thorough bred English toff female... you hit the nail on the head.
But for the yokel, I'm all what? Mixed breed Cornwall female... you get an entire set of fingers up your ass, and her family assists in the licking.
Gureat, darlin'!
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at November 11, 2005 9:28 AM
Gak! Im never headin to that tiny island! Well, I might anyway, but Im not extrordinarily fond of having things shoved up my ass. I think the real appeal is the accent, it's just so damn nice.
by Clonereject1138 at November 11, 2005 10:50 AM
Yahoo! Looks like we might be getting a taste of the old glory days of Badsam...
Days of racia and classwarfare... ideological idiocy...
...and so begins the cycle of entertaining stupidity...
...Thanks ANNA...
...keep it coming...
...that's a funny joke about the texas policeman... it's classic white trash racism as opposed to blueblooded racism...
oooooooooooooohhhhh.... racism.... America is still the most progressive country in the world... you no likey? Get the fuck out...
by LOCKHEED at November 12, 2005 12:25 AM
Let's not generalize about the accent. As Crim said there's a variety of cultures there. We beat our meat about the higher class accent not the Cockney, white-trash one. And don't even get him started about the Welsh.
by anna at November 12, 2005 4:10 AM
I get a woodie hearing the Cockney accent. But then again I love Tonya Harding.
I guess I'm white trash and proud of it!
by Long Time Lurker at November 12, 2005 4:48 AM
Scienst is racist. Look at the stars. Black holes. White dwarfs. Red Giants.
Im sueing.
by Clonereject1138 at November 12, 2005 2:59 PM
Did she really hit her boyfriend with a hubcap? Who has a hubcap lying around the house? Confession: I dug her too. Loved her on Celeb Boxing.
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by Ginger at December 22, 2005 5:28 AM