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Not that there's anything wrong with that
by anna at 08:28 AM on November 23, 2005
I am baffled by the mechanics. No, not the guy with the monkey wrench and degree in computer science, but the details. With hetero sex, the goal is mutual, simultaneous orgasm. It takes timing, trust and some amount of skill on both participants' part. But unless I am mistaken, with gay men, one must be the odd man out.
Gay men do oral and anal. It is not possible, to my knowledge, to achieve orgasm from giving oral (Deep Throat fantasies aside.) So the only chance at mutual, simultaneous ecstacy is an awkward 69 arrangement. And let's not forget that these are guys. Once they've gotten off their first urge is to either roll off and go to sleep or fumble in the sheets for the remote. Oprah is on Letterman tonight! So the giver of the oral or the getter of the anal is left to his own desultory devices. This seems unsatisfactory. Perhaps Snaggle could shed some light on the subject.
I am similarly baffled by bisexual men. How could someone enamored of the soft, sweet-smelling nature of girls suddenly decide that they also want to experience the hard, stinky business end o' dudes? The intoxicating aroma of perfume one night and beer farts the next?
Lastly I don't get what is currently known as the transgendered population. I have a friend who was a girl. A rather mannish girl but a girl just the same. He'she is pre-surgical but has gotten a new wardrobe and has ingested massive amounts of hormones. His'her voice is a little deeper, he'she has a little facial stubble and he'she's developed a healthy interest in football, but aside from that I see little change. Is the desire to swap sexes some genetic thing or just the result of boredom?
comments (14)
oh god. I haven't paid a visit to this website for 2 o 3 years. So today, for some unknown reason I remebered badsamaritan and thought I'd say hi. So I open up the first article available all happy and excited and I get to read ...a really detailed description of 2 guys having a 69??
gross!
Anyway, hello everyone :)
And I also have an on-topic comment: This thing about guys sleeping right after sex or losing any interest in their partner is a myth (I think). What happens if youre a heterosexual and you achieve orgasm BEFORE she does? Well, you find an another way to please her, or even keep on doing what you were doing before you've had yours, right? So I guess same goes for gay ppl!
As for the bi stuff, who knows. All I know is bi women are a gift to mankind. Male mankind especially. Now I know what I'll ask Santa.
by necropethamenos at November 23, 2005 9:12 AM
A myth, perhaps, but a damn useful one if you ask me.
by anna at November 25, 2005 12:28 PM
Hey, don't know if you guys remember me or not. Just stopping by to say hi and see how things are going for BadSam. One question though: Where's Lindsay?
Cheers!
by Lucy at November 25, 2005 8:29 PM
Heh, mutual orgasm? Is that what they're calling it? Requires skill and trust. Heh. It should be called: held at the door orgasm, until name checked against a long VIP list, registered, and given permission to pass. Requirements for mutual orgasm are for the guy to stay calm, and fit enough to perform at varying speeds for copious lengths of time, and be willing to be used as a plugged dildo when not fit enough (get on his back and take a breather). He must also have a talent for escaping from himself for short periods, leaving the scene of the inevitable orgasm and sliding into the realms of getting a job done.
Getting the job done can mean a hasty retreat and an oral replacement, just to tickle the spot, or basking in the glory of mental images saved from the shit sprayed can in the gents restroom you saw not a week ago. And then back to the good stuff, take it all in, keep it all down, must... not... think... on current events... then leave, and return... ah this great... she is... uh... oh... must not think... on... current events... leave... and return, and repeat. Because we all know, if wanted to, we could be in and out inside of five of minutes, job done, light em if you got em, night then. Sometimes it doesn't take much to enjoy a mutual orgasm, all depends on the woman.
Some are infuriatingly difficult to get off, exhaustingly. Gotta locate the point of the involuntary twitch, it's just impossible to get to some with the equipment provided so you have to use your facial cutlery to work up to the point that you can then go ahead on the final distance using your 'designed for this' gear. Some are notoriously easy, and they make you feel like a thorough bred porn star. Mutual orgasm... is the man putting in the effort to not reach orgasm, until the stop signs are removed. Speaking for straight people here, I have no idea how you not-straight people do it. There's something very not-straight about your sex lives that I just can't get.
I have a friend who told me he didn't, couldn' reach an orgasm with one bird, but she did, and she was devestated that he hadn't. Thought something terrible must be wrong with her. Of course I swore and pfft'ed and declared it was an impossibility, but he was adamant. I was, I'm not sure if I was impressed or just completely baffled. But all was explained when I went round to his house and saw that he was, and had been for some time, dealing and helping himself to cocaine. Was like a weight off my mind I can tell ya.
Gay people... I dunno... the mind does surely boggle. Bi people... the mind boggles. A-sexuals... the mind boggles. I was a boy born in a girls body types... isn't that some kind of defect that afflicted them as they were gestating in the womb? We all start out as... hey could be anything! And at some stage it swings either way, but for them the body went one way and the mind was set on it being another. Heh. The mind... does... truly... boggle.
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at November 25, 2005 11:29 PM
Lucy, re: Linz you missed a bit of controversy there:
http://www.badsamaritan.com/archives/2005/01/and_i_would_have_liked_to_have_known_you_but_i_was_just_a_kid.php
by chuck woolery at November 26, 2005 3:19 PM
Hello Lucy and Necro. Sit a spell and get reaquainted. Linz is gone. Oh well. NCO, I think I commented about the cocaine/no cum phenomena a while back.
I might also mention how the use of condoms has all but eliminated the possibility of faked male orgasms.
by anna at November 28, 2005 10:03 AM
anna, why do you find it useful?
by necropethamenos at November 28, 2005 12:01 PM
I just saw this one. Fake male orgasms? There's actually a person with a dick that ever had to FAKE an orgasm?!?!
I'm scared now.
by necropethamenos at November 28, 2005 12:02 PM
It makes me feel more normal.
by anna at November 28, 2005 5:09 PM
And it takes a lot to make anna feel normal.
by Long Time Lurker at November 28, 2005 8:36 PM
I'm laughing so hard. I only have three hours of sleep so that might be why.
More seriously... I wonder too what transgendered people feel and think about their situations. What has to happen for someone to do something so drastic to themselves? Maybe only they know... there are many ways that I think more like males usually do and less like females usually do, but I've never wanted to be male.
I know one transgendered person. I don't know her well. But having seen her around, I can see how life might have been very hard for her while she was male. She is vulnerable, affectionate, and personable in a very female way.
by jean at November 29, 2005 4:30 PM
The one I know once confessed that looking at Victoria's Secret catalogues made her feel all warm and fuzzy, as a teen. To anyone looking on it was like, duh, but to her it was a revelation. "Dude, I'm like, a dude."
by anna at November 30, 2005 7:32 AM
I wonder why people would suppose she was a male instead of a lesbian. It seems like there are reasons, but they are hard to put into words.
by jean at November 30, 2005 9:19 PM
It's the walk. Lesbians, and women in general, don't lumber.
by anna at December 1, 2005 7:38 AM