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Look for the Obvious
by chris at 01:55 PM on November 06, 2005
First day back after a vacation to the Florida Keys. I pull my motorcycle out of the garage behind the house on a warm sunny morning ready for my short commute to work. Though I love my job, riding my motorcycle to work and back is easily one of the highlights of my day. I put on my half helmet, and begin cruising down the driveway. Just as I'm about to enter the street, a thick web envelopes my face. I can feel it stretch across my glasses, obscuring my vision and stretching across my cheeks. I look down and see that it covers my arms and chest. I've just ridden through a spider web. Somehow a spider was able to stretch a thick sticky web across the entire driveway between two trees. At least 10 feet. Given the size of the web, the first thing that enters my mind is that the size of the spider must be enormous. Hopefully it's not stuck to my neck, or my face, or crawling up my chest. I'm still coasting on 450 pounds of hot expensive metal between between my legs and I certainly don't want to look down, see the enormous creature and dump the bike in a panic. The worst of the damage would be to my ego. I guess Nature gives us our own venom to fear.
The end of the driveway is a short, steep, downhill onto the street. So I had no choice but to keep going into the street and consciously override my panic based desire to know exactly where the spider was. I think part of being an adult is the ability to enforce rationality and set priorities: Motorcycle first, giant spider second.
One of the great things about motorcycling is being in contact with the world around you. Which means when you travel, you get to play the role of both sightseer and bug screen. You get used to large bugs hitting you in the neck at 60 MPH. Thunk. Ouch. You get used to being hit in the face by things which would otherwise splatter on someone else's windshield. I've been stung on the neck by bees. I've been hit in the chest by birds. My full face helmet has a little grid on it with some screen mesh underneath, just in front of my lips. I still remember a very hot day along highway 5 in California when my chapped dry lips suddenly felt a cool comforting spray across them as a large insect was effectively juiced by the grating on the front of my helmet. I have a sense memory for the term "bug juice".
My fear of spiders has decreased as I've gotten older. Though I can't say I like them crawling on me. I parked the bike, stepped off and held my arms out as I looked all over myself for the spider. I found lots of web and mummified insects stuck to me, but no spider. The web was stuck to my glasses and was thick like fishing line. How amazing, I thought, that after riding for more than 20 years, I still have things to learn just going out of my own driveway?
comments (11)
I just rode a motorcycle for the first time a few weekends ago. My dad let me ride his new bile that is some sort of modern replica of a 1950s style bike. I can't remember what kind it was — a Triumph maybe?. Like something in "Rebel WIthout a Cause." Motorcycles are a lot harder to ride than I thought they'd be. It was weird how you could turn sharper by pushing the handlebars in the the opposite direction of the turn as you were going into it.
As for spiders, I was out playing disk golf today and came across a huge farm spider. The kind that has a leg span of about 5 or 6 inches and is yellow and black in color. It must have been a tough one to survive several frosts. I was able to see it was missing a few legs as it spread out in the middle of its web, which is going to stay empty since all the other bugs have been frozen.
by MrBlank at November 7, 2005 1:12 AM
Yeah riding a bike is pretty visceral. I dropped mine in the middle of a busy intersection, with a gal I was trying to impress on the back. Bah!
My dad had old bikes too. He had a '29 Harley that looked like a candy apple red glorifed moped and a '52 Harley trike like cops used to ride in parades. Put a case of beer in that baby's trunk. Yes, trunk. But some scammer approached my mom about the old junk in the barn after he died. Gave both bikes to him for $200. Argh!
by anna at November 7, 2005 7:48 AM
Triumph makes a series of classic looking bikes: the Bonneville, Scrambler, and Thruxton. That counter-intuitive steering effect you describe is called counter-steering, and is basically used to intitiate or manage the lean of the bike, as you have to lean in order to turn. The negotiation between gravity and momentum is half the fun of riding.
Those yellow and black spiders are scary - it's one of those that I was worried about. I saw a giant spider in a parking lot in Lawrence last year when David Sedaris spoke at the Leeds center (or maybe it was the year before), except it wasn't the yellow and black kind. However it was about as big as you described. I saw it as we walked to the car, and I was astounded that I could still see it from the car as we drove by it again. I'd say it was 4 inches toe to toe. I doubt my ability to remain cool if there were a four inch spider crawling on me. The motorcycle spider thing was good practice for some mountain biking I did the next week, in which the lead rider along single track through the forest ended up plowing through spider web after spider web.
That seems to be the way it is with bikes Anna. The cool stuff happens when you're alone, and the stupid stuff happens when there's a crowd around.
by Chris at November 7, 2005 3:27 PM
I once almost walked into a spider web that size. An orb weaver had spun it between two concrete pillars in a parking lot. That was at least two cars wide! I can't imagine what terror I would've gone through if I just hit it. The spider was there too. I think its body was as big as a half-dollar. Memories!
by jean at November 7, 2005 8:50 PM
Spiders creep me out. That's why I never cared about Spiderman.
by anna at November 8, 2005 7:45 AM
Spiders are pretty neat, as long as they arent on me. Thats just about how I feel about everything.
Motorcycles are expensive.
I lie in a van with a matress. I call it a mobile home.
The only problem is gettin a microwave to work with the car battery.
by Clonereject1138 at November 8, 2005 2:21 PM
Not to mention internet access.
by anna at November 9, 2005 7:52 AM
I guess Clone should have listened to Motivational Speaker Matt Foley.
First off, I am 35 years old.. I am divorced.. and I live in a van down by the river! Now, you kids are probably saying to yourself, "Now, I'm gonna go out, and I'm gonna get the world by the tail, and wrap it around and put it in my pocket!!" Well, I'm here to tell you that you're probably gonna find out, as you go out there, that you're not gonna amount to Jack Squat!!"
Words to live by indeed.
by Long Time Lurker at November 9, 2005 10:55 AM
I'm with Jean, only I can imagine what terror I'd go through, think Jim Carey as Ventura when he sprints out of the bat cave jibbering and screaming, and shivering, what is with that shiver?
The thing that makes me laugh though, about people not of my breed who hate spiders, is the delicate process of capturing said villain with a glass and an envelope they initiate. If the spider makes any sudden movements they yelp and scream and generally look like absolute twonks.
I have no second thoughts about deleting the presence of a spider with my hand, foot, a newspaper, or whatever.
"You crawled into the wrong house my friend."
If I had been in Chris's position, I can safely say, I'd have a damaged bike. But talking about looking like a twonk, I wouldn't wear a half helmet. So chances are I'd have ridden off covered in web, completely unawares, and then taking the helmet off at work and seeing the web, I'd do the twonk dance in there for my work colleagues to see.
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at November 9, 2005 10:59 AM
I love those superficial, Kaiser Wilhelm helmets bikers wear as a silent protest against silly helmet laws. If the bike goes down, so are you.
by anna at November 10, 2005 7:46 AM
Ive recently been giving them chances to get lost.
"Hey, bub! Get the %$*& outta my van or Im gonna squarsh yoo!"
Doesnt work all the time, but at least I warned em.
by Clonereject1138 at November 12, 2005 3:02 PM