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Say Anything
by anna at 06:34 PM on October 05, 2005
You have probably lurked somewhere you didn't belong in hopes of bumping into that special somebody. Likely he or she was a relative stranger. Sure enough they showed up as you'd hoped. You either clammed up or stammered something nonsensical. Don't feel bad, I have too. We all have. Afterwards you come up with some snappy line you should have used and you kick yourself for days on end.
The worst part is that somebody else usually steps in and begins chatting with your infatuation with seeming ease. Oftentimes they walk away rapt with one another. What gives?
There is no reason to feel bad about these awkward moments. First of all, they are only awkward to you. Nobody else even knows what is going on with you. Contrary to how it feels sometimes, your thoughts are not an open book. But you can also take solace in the fact that what this is is an instance of someone trying to move outside their Attractiveness and Sociability Caste (AASC.) Very attractive people are usually sociable and well-liked too, in part because they get lots of practice and in part because people tend to forgive their gaffes while staring at their tits and bulges.
The same is true of even mildly attractive folks. The adage that opposites attract simply isn't true. Unless you hate yourself you tend to dig people like yourself. And you wind up dating/marrying someone within your own AASC.
This is true despite what such shows as King of Queens, Still Standing and Yes, Dear would have you believe. Big fat galoots do not land impossibly thin hotties like Courtney Thorne-Smith. Just doesn't happen.
Of course there are exceptions to this rule. Most of them involve men slumming with women from lower AASCs. Think Desi Arnez drilling the dowdy crone Lucille Ball. Think Tom Cruise impregnating ho-hum Katie Holmes. (Who knew he even had it in him?)
Sometimes one does see it the other way around. What is comely Denise Richards doing with Charlie Sheen, a dolt who pays hookers?
And everyone knows exactly where they stand in the pecking order. But it always makes me laugh when attractive women modestly try to act like they don't know. Trust me, they do. They're reminded of it 24-7. They can tell you are ogling them, even behind sunglasses. They know you are where you don't belong in hopes of bumping into them and striking up a clever conversation. They giggle as your tongue gets all tied in knots. They aren't stupid, after all.
You are, for trying to venture outside your AASC.
comments (10)
I was thinking of Tom Cruise boning Lucille Ball.
That's hot
by Long Time Lurker at October 5, 2005 9:13 PM
on the subway I oggle frequently... and early morn, I can even get it up...
by lockheed at October 6, 2005 5:16 AM
LTL, I assume you mean while she was alive. And you can't say that, Paris Hilton has trademarked the phrase.
Lock, if all you do on the subway is ogle that's admirable. I've seen a lot of unwanted groping and squirming going on there.
by anna at October 6, 2005 7:41 AM
No I was thinking of her now. Or is that TOO creepy?
What??!! That stuff happens on the subway? Man I wish I had a subway to ride.
by Long Time Lurker at October 6, 2005 8:43 PM
Hell, I saw a girl groping guys on the NYC subway. We never get that here.
I don't agree with those who are calling for DNA tests to determine who's the daddy of Holmes' kid. Maybe his prior wife adopted because bio-kids are fattening.
And might I add that whatever else the bunko squad may call it, Scientology isn't a religion. Religions have dieties not L Ron Hoover.
Worst pickup line I've heard: Do you want an episiotomy?
THAT is creepy.
by anna at October 7, 2005 7:50 AM
Tom may have a low sperm count but it only take one seaman to make it to port.
I always thought the leader of Scientology was L Ron Hoover. Oh no wait, that's Appliantology.
Who in the hell would use an episiotomy as a pick up line? That is creepy. That's like saying, "Hey babe, do you want the forceps?" I don't know how well medical terms go over in pick up lines.
by Long Time Lurker at October 7, 2005 5:24 PM
Those are really disgusting pick-up lines. I'm not sure how I feel about the attractiveness issue. I always thought male pick-up behavior had more to do with good-looking people being bold because they're confident, and bad-looking people being bold because they think they have nothing to lose. Either way, men are forward. Would the guys here say the same about women?
Over the years I've gotten unwanted attention from some pretty interesting people. Most recently, I found out that someone who was being unusually chummy with me had a wife and child. That's not right.
by jean at October 7, 2005 6:18 PM
My brother lives in the Twin Cities, and he said that it's quite common to see hot chicks with average guys. He said that there's an excess of attractive girls, given the Scandinavian heritage around the area, and the guys don't quite have the looks to match. So what do the girls do? They date down. Or date each other, I guess.
by leaffin at October 7, 2005 7:20 PM
That's really interesting. Why do Scandinavian girls look so good? I hear that in Sweden a lot of girls model part-time. In other words, they're all so good-looking that it's not a big deal to model if you want to. Well... it's just hearsay.
by jean at October 7, 2005 9:29 PM
I've done a lot of research about the supposed Scandinavian/Aryan/Nordic ideal for my book. It comes down to being tall, blonde and big blue-eyed, all traits that evolution favored in the scant sunlight of Scandinavia and northern Europe. They have even explained away the swarthy Aleuts of Alaska by saying they ate a lot of fish or something.
I believe that Tiger Woods' offspring with that Swedish bombshell will be the most attractive person ever. What are they waiting for?
And no medical terms have no place in pickup lines.
by anna at October 8, 2005 8:57 AM