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mg

the deputy sheriffs, the soldiers, the governors get paid, and the marshals and cops get the same

by mg at 08:23 AM on September 07, 2005

It’s been more than a week since Hurricane Katrina hit, and the people of the Gulf Coast are finally starting to pick themselves up and get ready for what comes next. After a week of chaos, violence, looting, and death, we can finally get down to what Americans know how to do best – no, not build automobiles or any other manufactured goods – now is the time to point fingers and cast guilt.

Whether you want to blame Kathleen Blanco, the governor of Louisiana, for not asking for help before she needed it, or FEMA and Homeland Security for not being equipped to handle the worst natural disaster in the country’s 300 year history, or President Bush for believing his advisors when they told him things were under control and not ignoring them and sending in the National Guard anyway, someone is clearly at fault.

But, I think in all this finger pointing the most obvious suspect has been missed – Saddam Hussein.

Think about it – we all knew the guy was up to no good, but several years after taking over in Iraq we’ve yet to find any evidence of Weapons of Mass Destruction. Why?

Because we were looking for the wrong thing.

We were looking for evidence of chemical or nuclear weapons and, of course, couldn’t find any. Those are the tools of your average villain. Saddam Hussein is a super-villain, and what is the ultimate goal of a super-villain? That’s right – a weather controlling machine.

The United Nations weapons inspectors and Coalition forces have been looking for biological, chemical, and nuclear weapons to no avail, but missed what was right in front of them the entire time – meteorological weapons. And now it is too late.

Hurricane Katrina was the direct result of the Butcher of Baghdad’s attempts to control the weather, and therefore the world. So before you reproach Blanco, Bush, or FEMA Director Mike Brown, think about who is really to blame – Saddam Hussein.

comments (8)

Stupid infidels, this is just the beginning of your torment! I'm working on a new and even more devastating weapon: The Gay Ray! It's a giant laser mounted on a low Earth orbit satellite. Use your imagination to figure out what it does. Or, if you're mg, you don't need to use your imagination... just remember last night. (Yeah baby, it was good for me too.)

by Saddam at September 7, 2005 3:41 PM


Weather Wars!!! Look out.

by MrBlank at September 7, 2005 5:41 PM


Classic AND brilliant. I'm sure Osama bin Laden had something to do with it, too.

by jean at September 7, 2005 6:38 PM


Before it hit some people were calling the monster Katrina and the Waves, like Ivan the Terrible. I'm walking on sunshine.... Whatever. Nevermind.

by anna at September 7, 2005 7:05 PM


On a somewhat related note... I was reading an article about how they might have to tear down the Superdome, due to all the damage it suffered. Interestingly enough, most of the damage didn't come from the hurricane itself, but rather, from all the people who stayed in the Superdome. According to Doug Thornton, vice president of the company that manages the Superdome, "This place stinks like urine, BO, and fuckin' homeless people."

by Eviltom at September 7, 2005 9:46 PM


You know, it'dl be hard to go to the Superdome and enjoy a Saints game if you are constantly thinking that smeone died or was raped in your seat. Also because the Saints aren't a very good football team.

by mg at September 7, 2005 9:58 PM


That place is done. It might as well be Eberts Field.

by anna at September 8, 2005 7:51 AM


Hyperdimensioanl Physics

http://www.enterprisemission.com/hurricane1.htm

by Long time Lurker at September 8, 2005 11:16 AM