i stood beneath your window with my ukulele

by mg at 08:15 AM on September 14, 2005

Crazy people freak me out.

Maybe it is because I try to look at life so logically that when someone is detached from that world of logic, science, and objectivity that the rest of us cling to (even tenuously) it makes me uncomfortable to be anywhere near them.

Maybe it is because hard core mental illnesses run in my family, and being around people like that reminds me how close I am to slipping over that edge. I’ve seen members of my family, who are otherwise intelligent and well-spoken, turn into literal raving lunatics when off their meds. And it is only through some luck of brain chemistry that I ended up relatively normal 100% of the time, instead of taking those all-to-frequent mental holidays.

Not too long ago my department moved from one building to another. There is this woman who works in the employee cafeteria that constantly mutters to herself under her breath. Because crazy people freak me out, I tried to avoid her as much as possible. If she was cleaning the salad bar, I’d go nowhere near it. If she were brining out new pies, I’d stay away, even though I love pies.

Since I never got close to her, I never really got a chance to hear what she was muttering about. And quite honestly, I didn’t think it would hold much interest for me.

While I tried to stay away from this woman, unfortunately that wasn’t much of an option. See, she would also be the one to deliver food to the meeting rooms for lunch meetings, and clean the refrigerators and kitchenettes on our floor. Every other day or so she’d walk by my desk looking directly at me but really through me, and saying things that were seemingly directed at me, but obviously not directed at me.

One day it seemed like the fog lifted and she looked directly at me and not through me, and clearly and pointedly asked me “When is your birthday?”

I was so shocked I had to ask her to repeat herself because I couldn’t believe she was actually coherent – like the question was directed at a voice in her head and I just happened to be standing right in front of the delusion.

“When is your birthday?”

I told her it was April 18.

The next day down in the employee cafeteria she sees me and immediately says “Four eighteen, making the scene.” She remembered my birthday, and had a little rhyme for me! Apparently this was her continual muttering. She remembered the birthdays of every single employee (thousands) and would repeat it back to them in a couplet every time she saw them. That may still be crazy, but it is kind of cool crazy.

She has different rhymes for everyone, some examples: “5/3, the place to be,” “9/21, so much fun.” She doesn’t even use the same one every time. For example, sometimes she’ll say to me “4/18, back again.” While the English major in me protests, I’ll forgive the forced rhyme in this case since she has to come up with thousands of these.

Well, I only bring this up because she recently cornered another of my coworkers. The next time she saw him she said “8/17, time to change your life.”