Both of them save their money when they come home from work

by anna at 07:00 PM on September 07, 2005

Ah yes, everbody's favorite topic: themselves. Myself I've never been that big on those types of blogs where the writer relates the mundane details of where they went shopping or the delicious BLT they ate for lunch. But once in a while something unusual actually happens in my life. In this case it was interacting on a personal level with a person besides my wife. You see, I've become a hermit in recent years.

It hasn't always been this way. I used to move among a large circle of friends and acquaintances. For the most part we were all involved in some way with Whore Hey and Cum Meal's enterprise.

So I traipse up to the grocery store to buy kale and bananas for this 4 foot iguana that's taken up residence in my family room. I purchase the items, absorbed in my usual fog of pet peeves and delusions. I become aware that someone is calling my name. Well, not my name but a childhood nickname. It's my friend Matt. Growing up he was my closest friend. I was the best man at his wedding. I bought him 2 whores for his bachelor party, but he was so in love with his fiancee he wouldn't even accept a complimentary blowjob from them.

We haven't spoken in years. He's moved twice, gotten engaged after 20 years of single life and switched careers. For the last couple months he's been living just blocks from my home. All unbeknownst to me!

We chatted for a while and the cameraderie was unmistakably still there. We just get along, we think along the same lines. We commiserated about the disaster in the Big Easy. He told me about some major backpacking trips he's been on. We promised to get together soon for tennis and beers afterwards. I'm hopeful that ensues, but I am not confident it will.

Truth is that such situations are awkward as hell---you're grasping. After all that time apart it just isn't possible to totally rekindle any friendship. I remember thinking that I was glad I'd shaved even though I didn't work that day. I was also glad I'd gotten a haircut/scalp massage earlier. I'd have never given that a moment's thought in years past. We were just buds and that was it.

Girl-friends seldom let this happen. They keep up with one another. They're masters of the art of "just checking in." Guys rarely "check in," any more than we shop. We lumber into stores, knowing precisely what we're there for. We're in and out in five minutes flat, like sex.

Turns out there are reasons for this difference. Men relate to me far differently than women relate to other women. The main difference is that guys can never get totally past the fact that any dude is your potential rival, someone who might steal your girl or worse. Nor can we display weakness or vulnerability, the cornerstones of weepy chick friednship. Gals can chat about a variety of things. Guys can chat about ravaging chicks, whether the curtains matched the carpet and football. After we're married or engaged tht list is winnowed down to football.

A rivalry situation is what led to the rift between Matt and I. We lived in a group house, him, me, my GF and his wife. His wife dug me and often came on to me. I never succumbed. But somehow he got the idea that I did---probably planted by her. We didn't speak for years after that. He didn't even attend my wedding in 1988 and I never forgave him for the no-show. That is one the biggest regrets of my life. You should never let a woman get between you and your best buds.