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The Cubs Did What?
by jean at 11:53 PM on June 03, 2005
Because I live in Los Angeles, I spend a lot of time looking at the backs of other people's cars and trucks. Since everyone spends a lot of time looking at the backs of everyone else's vehicle, they are kind of like the bulletin board which is your chance to express yourself to all of Southern California. I've gotten to know several cars in my garage at work just by their license plates. I park with "Miss Texan," "Dark Grrl" (or "Dork Grrl"; I'm not sure which), "Web Magic," "Forever Now," and "Love Me Twenty-Four Seven." Sometimes I even park with "Shaq's Ma"! Every time I see these guys I wonder what their drivers are like.
Miss Texan and Dark Grrl are probably female, although of course you never know for sure. I imagine that Miss Texan comes very well dressed every day, with make-up and hairspray in her hair. She drives a mid-size American sedan. I picture Dark Grrl being one of the goths that works in the mall, or maybe is a receptionist in the office building across the street. She drives a brightly colored import coupe. I wonder if she dyes her hair black or wears combat boots. I figure she does not wear purple eyeshadow or black corsets to work, because eyeshadow-and-corset Goths always seem to drive really sad heaps like Geo Metros. Dark is not that hardcore.
I've seen Web Magic, sometimes even on the weekends. He's a smartly dressed young Asian man who walks with a slight stoop, like an overloaded laptop briefcase is hanging off his shoulder even when it isn't. I figure he's one of those cocky IT workers, because of the magic thing. They're horrible to work with. Hopefully he'll never turn out to be the jerky cousin of some friend of mine, but he probably is.
I'll bet Forever Now and Love Me Twenty-Four Seven are female, and I haven't decided whether they're effusive liberals, New-Age types with flowing clothes and crystal rock necklaces, or actually conservative Orange County soccer moms whose plates were their one brief flirtation with individual expression.
My current favorite vanity plate doesn't park in my garage. I saw it on the freeway just today. It was a black luxury sedan, and it said "CUBS WON".
comments (12)
Every year I try to get some variation of Goesto11. But they are all taken. And that movie must be 20 years old. I've got a problem with this miniature bread won't fit.
by anna at June 4, 2005 9:22 AM
Aw, that sucks. That would be an awesome plate to have. What have you got a problem with? Is that a different Spinal Tap joke?
I thought about getting personalized plates, but I keep imagining that I might tick off some serious road rager who will track me down using my easy-to-remember plates.
by jean at June 6, 2005 5:11 AM
Ditto on why I never will get vanity plates - if I were to ever comitt a crime and use my vehicle as the getaway car, I'd want my license plate to be as incomprehensible as possible.
by mg at June 6, 2005 7:09 AM
Bumper stickers are strange too: "I'm reading your email."
by anna at June 6, 2005 11:41 AM
Oh, that one's easy. That is a network or systems administrator's sticker. The people in the IT department really do read all your e-mail. They know who surfs porn all day at work and who has gay porn in their Internet Explorer cache. They know about affairs, mergers, layoffs, everything that's going on.
by jean at June 6, 2005 6:20 PM
Oh, I mean, who has gay porn in their cache... but pretends to be straight, of course :)
by jean at June 6, 2005 6:21 PM
That is frightening.
by anna at June 7, 2005 8:41 AM
:) Yeah huh? Don't ever let anyone tell you that anything you do on the computer at work is private. It's the same principle as when developing film at the photo lab. Assume that any incriminating photos have been duplicated. Even if they never go public, they're at least being kept for kicks.
by jean at June 8, 2005 5:16 AM
Don't I know it.
by paris hilton at June 8, 2005 7:30 AM
Hi Jean, can you post a picture of you naked? Doesn't need to be dirty to anything (dildos, etc). Just naked. We're curious. Thanks.
by Curious at June 12, 2005 7:39 PM
I'm thinking..... no. Jean didn't even know the secret Asian chick move.
by anna at June 13, 2005 7:45 AM
Urgh, grosssss
by jean at June 14, 2005 1:48 AM