I have that Blink 182 number I Guess This Is Growing Up on my DAP. It is a great singalong, and when I am painting by myself I will often chime in off-key. Sometimes (and why it varies I haven't a clue) the next song is Liz Phair's HWC. It too has a catchy singalong melody.
So there I am up on the ladder with roller in hand, hollering, "So hot, so sweet, so whet my appetitite. Gimme your hot white cum." Bah! How queer is that? I had to turn the damn thing off and paint in abject silence.
It made me uncomfortable, but I doubt many guys felt that way about their lustful feelings toward Ms. Phair. This was true even when Exile in Guyville came ou when she was all of 20 or so. She has always put herself out there as a raunchy if vulnerarable character. But they might if they thought about the fact that she is the mother of an 11 year old daughter. (Bet that kid takes some ribbing on the playground!)
Certain celebrities have a quality that makes you feel icky if you find them even mildly attractive. The other day I am looking at an ad for The Perfect Man, starrring Heather Locklear and Hilary Duff. I'm musing to myself, hey she is pretty hot. Duff, mind you, not Locklear who is my age and was quite the vixen in her time. Right away I'm like chiding myself for even having such a disgusting thought.
It is not a function so much of age as something else, wholesome image perhaps. Consider that Duff is about the same age as Lindsey Lohan, after whom many a middle-aged man secretly lusts. She isn't much younger than say, Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera. And I'd lump Tom Cruise's new squeeze Katie Holmes in with Duff, Amanda Bynes, Clelsea Clinton the Olsen twins and Clarissa Explains It All---and Holmes is 26. Maybe it is the "ie" on the end of her name. But whatever the reason it's icky to think about doing anything less wholesome than a picnic with her or any of them. Cruise should be ashamed of himself.
People's status can change. Consider that we watched Neve Campbell growing up on Party of Five (or was that Jennifer Love Hewitt?) Anyway, Campbell/Hewitt always had that kind of shy, innocent air about her. So I lumped her into the unthinkable category with Duff et al. But then came those racy scenes in Wild Things and that changed everything. (Actually I'm not even sure that was even her, but you get my drift.)
Tom Cruise seems to act really strange around Katie. And now they're engaged! I heard her say that she can't believe she's dating the person she used to have a crush on as a kid. Then I thought about it... I remember Tom Cruise being on the cover of Tiger Beat (the teen magazine) when I was in elementary school. If that was about third grade and Katie is three years younger than me, then she would've been in kindergarten. It's not cool to get engaged to someone who's been a movie heartthrob since you were in kindergarten. No way.
by jean at June 19, 2005 11:09 PM
Wasn't it Neve Campbell who vanished from the limelight a few years back, doing the Part-ay o' Five thing?
How yall doin'? Thought I'd check in see what's happening. What's... happened... rather... Whatcha do!? The site looks like every other blog on t'internet now. I dislike it a lot. Can barely read the 'last in line for the nobel peace prize' bit. Get some bold block font goin' in nice clean two tone design, damn it. The pattern on the main banner looks like something you'd see on a pair of grandad christmas gift socks... And the BS title... Come on! That looks like it should say something like: Esther Q Nobody - Estate Agents Online - Or something. The pages are looking... old. Dudes.
Heh heh. Not that ye give a horses ringpiece, since last we met, I've flown a poxy single engine plane, had bad sex with a bird I didn't really like, but who can now say I ain't good in bed, was accused of being gay by my step-brother whom I've met three times - because he's never seen me with a woman but reckons I talk a good talk... The fact he hasn't seen me with a man, dog, horse, sheep, or wet towel didn't factor into his reasoning mind you, I did say: I could be Asexua (monster) - went to a weird party in which I was approached by a skinhead from the BNP... recruiting. Was lamped by a four and a half foot tall chick, fell out with my brother over money owed, and watched my sister doing various fucked up singing acts Jessica on Roger (Rabbit) style in front of a horde of fat balding blokes... in varying crappy establishments. Now earning tiny quantities of cash driving a limo owned by my sis's bloke, and am doing a cheap rendition of Alfie on the dark and edgy streets of Leeds. Uhm... Ate, slept, and used the toilet a fair few times, too. Life's grand, eh? Hope you're well.
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at June 19, 2005 11:33 PM
I think it's weird the way their little romance just progresses but by and large nobody believes it is real. He really needs to do her on tape and have it leak on to the net.
NCO you are freaking me out again. What does it mean to ger lamped? Or do i even want to know?
Or maybe she could lamp him.
by anna at June 20, 2005 7:42 AM
Means she cracked me one, knocked me for six, boxed me round the ear, knocked my block off, checked my chin, tattooed me, fist fucked my face... heh heh... she hit me, brought me low, showed me what for, sucker punched me... I'm running out of terms now... :(
I made a comment about her petite frame but she was in no mood for parley or lewd compliments and went Shamrock on my butt.
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at June 20, 2005 11:02 AM
I saw Katie Holmes in Batman.. She is BUSTED.
...I singlehandedly 'de-programmed' a leader of the Time Square Scientology branch...
...Tom Cruise emailed me very upset.
...how ridiculous is it to have such a celebrity dare email LOCKHEED.
I crushed him with respect due only to a reasonable hard worker.
by LOCKHEED at June 20, 2005 5:43 PM
Dude that is some funny shit. And how funny is it that Cruise, who's never met a microphone he didn't want to blow, couldn't see the irony in one that splatters water in his face? They should have rigged it up with jism. Or just lamped him.
by anna at June 21, 2005 7:27 AM
Crim, don't make fun of short people. I'm glad to hear the update, though. Everything about your life seems instantly more interesting because it's so far away.
by jean at June 21, 2005 10:39 PM
I wanna know how he supports himself.
by anna at June 21, 2005 11:32 PM
Everything I own fits into a rather small room in a flat/apartment that my name isn't associated with. I didn't even get my vote this year cos of that stinking holiday I went on. I'm a statistic that nobody can locate... sucks!
No outgoings see. Bah, what the hell, as long as I can suck in the fresh air and do a cartwheel just for the hell of it... I'm a happy bunny. Give me some of your cash, watch me get shit faced and spend it in a way you'd call 'waste'... and I promise it'll make you feel better. You want my address? Instant happiness guaranteed! :D
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at June 22, 2005 1:02 PM
by anna at June 22, 2005 10:42 PM