Driving the Heap into the Sunset

by adam at 01:40 AM on May 12, 2005

It has been two years since I returned from Hawaii to resume what passes for my normal life in New York. In that time I've:
lived off mom and dad, found an apartment, found a job, found another apartment, alienated old friends, made new friends, fixed my car, gotten engaged, broken up, gotten engaged again, and not gotten into law school.

I haven't seen a lot of friends as often as I would've liked to, I didn't do anything big to advance my career, I didn't get much writing, reading, or guitar playing done mostly because I spent so much time at a job that didn't do much to advance my career (rinse, repeat). So when my now-fiancee got accepted into a residency in California, I thought long and hard (two minutes) before deciding that I was going to move to the Bay Area with her. I am now in the smallish minority of men who have moved because of their (future) wives' jobs. This, according to the Romanian medical student at my office (along with the fact that I only drive very small cars) means that I "must have a big one," a rumor that I am loathe to refute.

This is hard for me. I missed New York every minute that I was in Hawaii, and now I'm looking at a good 5 or 6 years away again. Granted, at least this time I'll be on the same continent and within a measley 7-hour plane ride, but New York has always been deeply bound up with my self-identity and with my conception of my own future. I'm a third-generation New Yorker (a rare thing today) and I want to raise my own children here.

More than that, I have a dream: I go to the Bay Area, finish law school (well, get in first), do my thing in the public sector, and then once Amy finishes her residency we pick up the cars, the house, and the kids and move back to New York for my triumphant return.

We leave in exactly one month and four days. In that time there needs to be much fixing of ancient bad European cars, disposing of unnecessary possessions, throwing of engagement parties, finding of rabbis and reception space, and wrangling with various evil California management companies and utilities. I'm not ready, but I'm going anyway.