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Seven women for every man
by leaffin at 08:20 PM on March 14, 2005
I have been told multiple times by the men of Nicaraguan men that they are allowed to have 7 girlfriends. I laugh and tell them that that´s bullshit, but they tell me that that´s truly the ratio of men to women in Nicaragua.
Now, that might have been true in the early ´90s immediately after all of the fighting that took place there during the 1980´s, but I think that their statistics don´t hold true for now.
Even so, from the people I talked to and the things I saw, promiscuity is something that´s practiced fairly regularly around here. Two of my old co-workers were dating for about a year, and I recently found out that he´s married (to someone else) and has 2 or 3 kids. But my favorite example is one of my co-workers from the bar. We´ll call him Ricardo.
Ricardo and his long-term girlfriend/possibly wife (dating for 3-4 years) both worked there. She worked during the day, and he worked at night. My boss tells me that the first night he worked in the bar, he ended up getting laid on the beach by some tourist.
My first night working with Ricardo, we had the following conversation (R=Ricardo, M=me):
R: I need a chica.
M: Don´t you already have a chica?
R: Yes, but I need another one.
M: You´re a bad boyfriend. What do you think your girlfriend thinks?
R: Who knows? She might be out with another chico right now! I don´t know what she does.
M: I highly doubt she´s with another chico right now. The only chico she´s with is your 2-year-old son.
R: Whatever. I just need sex!
M: Does she know you sleep with other girls?
R: I don´t know. Probably. So it´s better when I sleep with tourists. She gets less jealous because they leave after a few days.
M: Still a bad boyfriend.
The rest of night, Ricardo proceeded to make piña coladas and feed them to me without asking me if I wanted any. No, I did not sleep with him. I don´t think that he´s gotten any action from foreigners since I met him. Poor guy.
So, since then, he asks me to help him get chicas. I tell him that I will not aid him in his search. He needs to do his dirty work by himself. He claims that he needs help because he doesn´t speak any English. I reminded him of these guys who live near the bar who only speak Spanish that seem to do just fine with the foreign chicks. He then complained that his skin isn´t as dark as theirs and he´s not going to get as lucky.
I´ve told him exactly what he can do to get lucky, but he just likes to complain about how bad his chances are. He´s just waiting for some drunk gringa to fall on his lap. Literally. Ah, Latin America.
comments (9)
Hey... you have to respect the culture.
by Hank at March 14, 2005 9:56 PM
In Nottingham here they reckon the women to men ratio is six to one, it’s famous for it. Now I, of course, marched to Nottingham with an army of merry men in tow, well, we went on a mini bus, and I have to say... If that stat is true, the entire population of Nottingham, with the exception of bar staff, are agoraphobic. I didn't meet one Nottingham citizen, male or female, all night! They were all from Leeds, Lancashire, Hull, York, Liverpool, even Essex! But Maid Marions, not a single one, nowhere to be seen. Bah, wasn’t even a good night out. The pub crawl was so short we were doing laps. Tsk.
I like the sound of this Ricardo fella, I just don’t get him. He is in a relationship, and he, “Just wants sex!” If he, “Just wants sex!” Quit the night job and get a day job, spend the nights with the girlfriend/wife, whatever, and, “Have some sex!” If he wants sex with other women though, all he has to do...
::CRIMSON GUARD ADVICE WARNING::
... Is talk joyfully about his girlfriend, to everyone, be content in his relationship, sing his girlfriend’s praises, take her gifts and live the good life. And then, as if by magic, women will lock their sights and want him. It’s the proven Law of Sod. Be happy with someone, and you’ll get tempted away from all quarters by countless women, but mope in a relationship, and you’ll find no release, ‘other women’ will seem a distant fantasy, and you'll be doomed to a life with shrivelled balls. Tis, it is, it is, it is, the Law of Sod… I’m telling ya. T’as been proven.
Of course when you reach a certain age, it doesn't matter how content you are in your relationship, nobody'll give a fuck but you and your loved ones, you're just to past it to tempt outsiders. Not sure what that age is... But I'd better be secure in a loving relationship when I reach it. Heh heh. :)
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at March 14, 2005 10:02 PM
I agree Crimson. It just seems people want what appears to be working for someone else. They don't want to take a chance on the lonely. Which, I think, is the basic unfairness of life.
As for Ricardo, who isn't waiting for some drunk gringa to fall into their lap? Heh-heh. She'd probly fall asleep.
by anna at March 15, 2005 7:50 AM
Hank - I changed my attitude towards his search for sex after a while because I realized it was the culture to some extent. I went from "you're a bad boyfriend" to "ok, here's how you're going to have luck... I'm just not going to help you more than offer advice."
I don't know if I have to respect that aspect of the culture, but I'll accept it as an aspect of the culture and not try to change it, except to suggest using condoms.
Crimson: I think Ricardo wants MORE sex than now. He actually only works 1 or 2 nights a week, so you'd think that he should be getting enough at home. I think it's a standard case of "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" AND maybe the gringas are better in bed. Don't know.
by Leaffin at March 15, 2005 12:43 PM
i want more sex with a peace corps chick
by Ratdogs at March 15, 2005 3:55 PM
Do they wear uniforms? Can they leave them on? And speaking of the grass is always greener....
by anna at March 15, 2005 6:44 PM
Leaf, the line "waiting for some drunk gringa to fall on his lap" just made me spit Nutrigrain bar all over my keyboard.
I'm sending you the repair bill.
by snaggle at March 17, 2005 1:23 PM
Glad to see I haven´t lost my charming effect on you, Snaggle. Do you think we could work out some sort of monthly billing schedule? I´m sure your keyboard costs more than I spent in 5 days here.
by Leaffin at March 18, 2005 1:43 PM
Six women to one man. You have absolutely no idea how that p***es me and my co Nottingham inhabitants. I have no idea who came up with that but when you do go to Nottingham i can guarantee 4 men (at least) to 1 girl. Guess why? Because half the UK male population come to our fair (and lively) city expecting to be bombarded with sex starved and beautiful women. Oh yes, Nottingham is also famous for it beautiful women and i can confirm we do have the best looking girls (this is now a proven fact). Just remember next time you decide to come to Nottingham expecting it "on a plate" you will be in direct competition with other so called jack the lads with thier false cockney accents and fake tan. Take my advice and stick to your own city, you may get more luck.
by Darren at August 28, 2005 8:51 AM