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I love a man in a uniform
by anna at 09:19 PM on March 10, 2005
Here in Virginia, if you take a sip of beer and then get behind the wheel, you will face the death penalty. Well not really, but they have passed the most Draconian drunk driving laws in the country. All those convicted lose their licenses for at least six months, must pay huge fines, go to classes and see their insurance rates triple. Second-time offenders must do jail time. A .08 qualifies you for a DWI.
And here in my county they have the highest arrest and conviction rate in the state. This feat was due in part to one officer's heroics. Year after year he nabbed more drunk drivers than anyone. Officials wanted to learn more about his techniques so they could impart them to other officers and MAKE OUR STREETS SAFE FOR UPSTANDING CITIZENS. Boy were they in for a surprise.
Scanning the list of people he collared it soon became apparent that they were all young women. Looking at their DMV pix it became apparent that they were all young, attractive women. No dudes, no old bitties. Hmmm.
So they started tailing him. He'd stake out bars at closing time and let wasted dudes and bitties drive on by. When he'd see a tipsy-looking hottie, he'd pull them over. Sobriety tests would ensue. He'd inform them that they were going to jail. Or they could suck his dick. When internal affairs nailed him he had his police blues around his ankles and a buxom blonde with her face buried in his lap.
Now this raises some interesting questions: 1) Faced with these options, what would you do? (Feel free to reverse genders or specific acts depending on your circumstance.) Go to jail? What if it's your third offense and you're looking at 6 months in the pokey, the end of your career and a lifetime license revocation? The blowjob will be over in 10 minutes tops. 2) Would you be tempted to bite off the scoundrel's dick? (Ditto, clit or whatever.) 3) What if you complied and then he reneged and arrested you anyway? Wouldn't it then be a he said she said situation? 4) To avoid that sucky scenario wouldn't you be tempted to spit a DNA sample into a tissue on the sly, ala Monica hanging on to her stained Gap dress for insurance purposes? 5) Should this guy be taken out and shot and discarded in a ditch like the worthless garbage he is and will always be?
comments (7)
Well, at least he gave them a choice. A normal cop would have just sent them all straight to jail. That's from their perspective.
From society's perspective, this is bad because it keeps drunk drivers on the road. Drunk drivers should have their cars disassembled. When they put it back together, then they can drive it again.
by Hank at March 10, 2005 10:37 PM
That's a damn good idea. What with all the computerized gear in today's cars, they'd have to get an education. Might be years before they endanger us again, or earn a living.
by anna at March 11, 2005 4:24 AM
I'd take the penalty, learn my lesson, and tuck the 'sexual proposition' into my weapons bag in case I need to use it later.
by Lockheed at March 11, 2005 3:29 PM
Yeah but who are they gonna believe, you or him? That's why you need to spit the DNA into the tissue and tuck it in your pocket.
It reminds me of this old game we used to play in high school: Spit or Swallow. Though I must say I've never seen an actual spitter and couldn't imagine what that would be like. Have seen the Turn Their Head Awayers.
by anna at March 11, 2005 6:24 PM
I like this law, they should introduce it my end. If they're seen to enforce it maybe drink driving will become a thing of the past. It seems no matter what the fines, no matter what the jail time, and no matter how many drink drivers, or unfortunate victims of drink drivers get killed on the roads, the numbers never seem to be dropping, but gradually rising every year.
If you're gonna drink, don't drive, if you're gonna drive, don't drink. Designate a friend or yourself as driver, hire a taxi, a limo, a camel... There's no sense in drinking alcohol and driving. This law ain't draconian, IMHO, it's a step in the right direction. :)
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at March 11, 2005 10:34 PM
I fully agree, but is it right to be setenced to rape without even a trial? It's like that chick in Pakistan who got gang-raped by the city council because her brother screwed some high class girl---on orders of the goddamn government.
by anna at March 12, 2005 9:47 AM
I envision this guy applying for a job as a rent-a-cop at a mall. He's filling out the application... Reason for leaving last job? Uh, let's see.... Pursue other career opportunities? That's what they always say at my company when one of the top brass gets the axe.
by anna at March 13, 2005 9:54 AM