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You Can Only Make One first Impression
by dominathan at 10:37 AM on February 16, 2005
I began a new job as a cook just the other day. So far it has been going ok. More recently, last night in fact, I feel I may have jeopardized how I am and will be perceived by the managers.
I am not easily embarassed. I have no qualms with dropping my pants on a whim, saying anything random just to illicit a response, or even referring and telling stories about the stupid things I have done while drunk. This time its different.
Now it may not seem significant to many people out there in cyberville, but I lost my hat. Still in the first week, and tonight I have to go let my managers know what a dufus I have been. Chances are they will not care that much, as we pay for the hats ourselves, but I still feel bad about it. I don't like the idea of having to confront them, admit my incompetance, and possibly create an impression that will be hard to undo. Whats done is done though, and some measure must be taken.
Now I must make the decision of how to handle this with the most tact, so that my peers will still respect me. There are numerous paths to take, living in such a free world. I could lie. I could laugh while explaining it. I could be extremely serious. All of these will have a different effect, and it is up to me to decide which manner to implement, attempting to leave a lasting and positive impression on them.
Truth is, I will probably just show up and rummage around the back looking for an old hat so I don't even have to bring it up. I really just dread the idea of having to undo any negative perceptions this may cause.
comments (28)
You could use the old standby, "My dog ate my hat."
So is this one of those white poofy chef's hats with the circular folded paper pattern? I understand that the number of folds in a chef's hat is supposed to reflect the number of ways a chef can prepare potatoes. Thus the more folds, the more badass the chef.
by chris at February 16, 2005 11:58 AM
You wouldn't believe it, this crazed Italian chef came out of the shadows and whipped the damn thing straight off my head. He laughed as I chased him, "Itsa me, a Mario!" I chased him for three blocks and eventually cornered him in an alley, then a fire door opened and around fifty suited gentlemen stepped into the alley toting tommy guns and greased back hairdo's.
Of course, I wasn't afraid, I knew that losing my hat would make me look bad so I stood my ground. I don't know if it was luck but just as they were about to openfire another fire door opened and around, ooh, must have been eighty Sicilians stepped out toting hand cannons of varying descriptions. I stood in awe as the two factions turned on one another and the bloodbath ensued. The Italian chef managed to slip past me, but not without alerting me to his escape by shouting from the mouth of the alley, "Itsa me, a Mario!"
I gave chase... Huh, anyway, to cut a long story short it turned out that Mario needed my hat in order to disguise himself at a Castle Bowser and to rescue some princess, once done he gave me it back and also offered some talking mushrooms for my next meal. You can imagine how tired I was when I eventually did get home, and leaving the hat on my sofa I turned in.
"So where is the hat?"
"Uh... Would you believe, my dog ate it?"
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at February 16, 2005 2:18 PM
Or just say you converted to a new religion and are forbidden to wear hats.
If they ask you which religion it is, make a ruckus about your 'freedom of religion being oppressed.'
by snaggle at February 16, 2005 4:09 PM
Meg Ryan is a Hat Person. So is Goldie Hawn. Clint Eastwood is not a Hat Person, but Billy Crystal is. Denzel Washington isn't a Hat Person. Liza Minelli is. But for some reason I've come to view Robert DeNiro as a Hat Person. Hilary Clinton has never donned a hat in her life. Hats say a lot about a person.
by Anna at February 16, 2005 5:52 PM
Welcome, Dominathan! I'm sorry to hear about the hat! Chris, is that true about the potatoes?
by jean at February 17, 2005 1:01 AM
Yeah I have never heard that about the folds either, mind you I am definately not a chef... just a cook. I have a lot of respect for chefs and what they do. It is an art... especially the iron ones.
by dominathan at February 17, 2005 1:18 AM
What are you saying? That your name is really a lisp? That is SOO gay!
(Or perhaps I should have said...)
What are you thaying? That your name is reallly a listhp? That is THOOOO gay!
by Eviltom at February 17, 2005 7:30 PM
Was that directed at me? Anyone with a 4th grade education will obviously clue in that it is a pun on my name being Nathan. Thought before expression goes a long way.
by dominathan at February 17, 2005 10:06 PM
And I am comfortable enough with my sexuality to realize that not all people with lisps are gay, nor is being gay a deragatory thing in modern world. I may not agree with it myself, but I have no need to convince myself it is "wrong". I might add psychologists would suggest you do so to quell the thoughts in the back of your head. I say just come out. You will be a lot happier that way.
by dominathan at February 17, 2005 10:09 PM
OF COURSE that was directed at you. Did you even have to ask? And dude, yeah... we get it that it's a pun on Nathan. But not a good pun.
by Eviltom at February 17, 2005 10:26 PM
MG himself can vouch for the fact that I'm not gay. Even if you want to count that drunken incident, during which MG's "little MG" ended up inside my bum... I surely didn't enjoy it. (that much).
by Eviltom at February 17, 2005 10:32 PM
So you just kicks from trying to degrade people unsuccessfully? Does it make you feel like a big man? Gay and insecure eh? Im 22 and I can already see the self esteem complexes that you must have to try to insult somebody over the internet.
The worst partabout your posts is that nothing you have said yet has anything with validity, merit, or intelligence to it.
And making gay jokes that over compensate for your insecurties do not have myself, or probably anyone else, convinced that you are not actually gay. I really suggest you ust come out man. It'll be the best thing you ever did.. and real guys will actually love you back nmore than your presumably daily dose of gay porn.
And when you really think about it (if your 4th grade education allows thinking), what pun isn't terrible?
by dominathan at February 17, 2005 11:44 PM
Hahaha...
This is great stuff, albeit a very 'trite' issue.
... Eviltom is a peculiar fellow.
...Dominathan, have you met Snaggle? He's kinda cute.
...Your picture does look gay too.
...I'm Quasi-gay... because I like dogs even if they are male.
by LOCKHEED at February 18, 2005 5:38 AM
my gay balls are tingling to dip inside of Eviltom.
by BoutraboutraGhali at February 18, 2005 5:48 AM
I love this site, but it does bug me that so many people ruin so many strings simply because they have nothing intelligent to add.
And quasi-gay? I enjoy that snaggle... but I always thought it was sleeping with men that made somebody convincingly gay, not a goofy picture.
by dominathan at February 18, 2005 7:03 AM
oh sorry that was for lockheed...
by dominathan at February 18, 2005 7:04 AM
I still don't get the pun. *groans* I think Nathan's pix looks gay in the old sense, like happy and carefree, chasing butterflies in a meadow or something. Welcome to our haven/hell.
by Anna at February 18, 2005 7:22 AM
Yeah, I guess that would be the 'technical' parameters of being gay.
I mean, I used to think Tom Selleck(with mustache) was a hunk when I was around 9 or 10 years old.
Decades later, I just like cats and dogs. Maybe that's just bestiality plain and simple.
And in all seriousness, when I saw your picture I though LINZ had returned.
by LOCKHEED at February 18, 2005 9:49 AM
Well, if the basis of all my strings is just going to be based on my name and my picture I will be willing to change it.
I'm not familiar with Linz other than the fact she deleted all her posts, so I don't know what to think of that comment.
Basically, I'd rather partake in intelligent conversation than spend time trying to defend myself form people like Eviltom.
And Tom Selleck's moustache is nothing compared to Burt Renold's. He rivals many 70's porn stars.
by dominathan at February 18, 2005 10:10 AM
Being gay once meant being happy as Anna said... Then a bunch of blokes who enjoyed sex with other blokes adopted the word and suddenly when straight men were feeling particularly gay on a certain day, they couldn't say so anymore, they had to say happy. Of all the words to choose why gay?
Looks like times are changing though, and thanks to the South Park creators gay is becoming a word for something that is weird, shit, or just confusing.
"That's so gay!" Heh heh, I kinda like the upcoming generations, they have a lot of front, I'm a fairly big guy but it doesn't stop teenage chavs just boldly shouting at me when I leave the local shop with cigarettes in my hand.
"Oi mate! Lend us a cig!"
"You mean borrow you a cig?"
"Whatever can we borrow one?"
"When do I get it back?"
"Hah hah hah!"
"Fuck you laughing at?"
"Just lend us one."
"Fuck off!"
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at February 18, 2005 12:59 PM
I wouldn't worry about Eviltom. He always pulls the gay card for the people he loves. You know it's like the boy who pulls the hair of the girl he likes. And replying to him just gets him more excited.
by Long time lurker at February 18, 2005 3:14 PM
Actually you can't change your name or your pix. Per MG it's a huge technical hassle. I used to have a burqa on and it was this big deal to change it. And I tried to change Anna to Ass Hat and it caused all manner of trouble. You're Dominathan, with that thumbnail, and that's that.
by Anna at February 18, 2005 6:45 PM
I guess i will learn to cope then...
South Park does help with the use of words... like metrosexual.
I'm a bigger fan of Seinfeld and his ability to to create the perfect word/ phrase to show how some people break the societal norms (man-hands, close talker, not a norm but still god... mimbo)
by dominathan at February 18, 2005 6:57 PM
Whoa, Dominathan, why are you tho thenthitive? I was just kidding around. I didn't mean to inthult you or nothin'. But your responthes make me think that you're the kind of guy who totally freaks out when thome dude puts his dick in your mouth. Chill out, yo.
by Eviltom at February 18, 2005 7:51 PM
It isn't hard to change the pic. The name is harder, but not impossible. Even if it wasn't hard, I'd say it would be just to not have someone with the moniker "ass hat" posting on the site. However, you should stick with your name.
Tom, this reminds me of high school. Remember I was the "headline editor" for Spectator? I remember wanting to use the headline "The more SING changes, the more SING stays the same." Sasha Z didn't get it, no matter how often I explained it was a lispy play on words. Ah, those were the days.
by mg at February 18, 2005 11:46 PM
Ahh im not really that worried about it unless it belittles all of my posts. People will always make assmptions, and im sure Tom is quite used to being wrong most of the time.
by dominathan at February 19, 2005 8:46 PM
I'm no metrosexual. I'm more of a wife-beater wearing, beer drinking, nut scracher type. But today, we were out of Suave body wash, so I used my wife's Jessica McLintoch body gel. Man, that stuff is luxurious. Though I probably smell like a girl.
by anna at February 20, 2005 10:23 AM
Damn MG! First of all, that headline was pure genius! Secondly, dude, I can't believe you remember Sasha. I haven't thought of that kid since way back in the day. That kid was so tooly... his eyes all beady and slightly too close together and slightly too sunken into his head, his arms all weirdly long, and his skin all pale, and on any given day, there was a 50/50 chance the kid would have really bad BO. Hah. Oh, the good ol' days.
by Eviltom at February 20, 2005 12:24 PM