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Flute that toots and a bee that stings
by anna at 07:25 PM on February 22, 2005
Judging by the tepid response to some of my recent entries I won't be missed much, but for the record I'll be leaving for a while soon. My dreaded plane flight to Tampa awaits. I'm figuring maybe I'll depart now for my Sunday flight. Security delays, you know.
It's not all bad. Sure there's the unpaid overtime, fear of flying and general discomfort about being someplace without my wife. We've been together so long it's just weird to be on my own. But I may take this opportunity to look up my old friend Whore Hey. In the past I've been pretty cryptic about this guy.
We're lifelong friends. Growing up he was so reticent and soft-spoken he earned the nickname Mumbles. His penchant for stashing certain things for long periods of time and then breaking them out also led us to dub him Secret Squirrel.
His dad and another drycleaning mogul merged their chains and he became friends with the new partner's son, who had certain connections in Florida. They opened a recording studio and some kind of import-export deal down there. He found a house with a fireplace, which wasn't easy in Tampa. He'd crank the AC so that he could have a fire. Snarling Dobermans prowled the perimeter. Oh no, this didn't attract attention at all.
With us, he grew ever more secretive. We knew what he was up to and to some extent assisted him in the mid-80s. But he was involved in a major wholesale operation and the police soon took note of the smoke in his chimney, the prowling dogs, privacy fence, his frequent flyer miles and the fact that this was the least productive studio ever. He and his partner were charged with CCE, or continuing criminal enterprise. They assembled a team of crack lawyers but it's hard when technically, you have been running a CCE all your adult life.
Whore Hey laid it all on his partner, who got life at age 27. No parole. He got like 7 years in min-sec. When his mom died they let him out to go to the funeral. He got clean in there, bulked up in the weightroom and spent time in the tanning booth. He came out looking better than ever (he'd always been quite the ladies' man.) We're talking tanned, ripped and sober for the first time in his life. He brimmed with self-confidence. We'd long been tennis rivals but no more. He'd won the prison championship two years running and defeated me in straight sets 6-0 6-0. And I can play.
He moved back down there and is really in the import-export business. He gets sent to Cuba. He lives the good life, having buried large sums years before and making pleny now. He's played it smart, and the authorities leave him alone. He's never remarried, preferring to play the field. Or else maybe he's gay like some suspected when we were young. No matter, I look forward to seeing an old friend.
comments (10)
Wait, you've been posting recently? I hadn't noticed.
From your description, I'm imagining enicio del Toro from Usual Supects.
Enjoy your trip.
by mg at February 22, 2005 11:37 PM
I've always believed if you could make it big selling drugs or making the most of other illegal activities, That there must be some business sense in there.
When it comes down to it, without an incredible string of good luck all stupid criminals will get broken up before they have th opportunity to make it big. I applaud his current employers for seeing the potential in his business sense and Whore Hey fro going straight.
On the other hand, if something goes missing around the office i can guess where the fingers will point.
by dominathan at February 22, 2005 11:57 PM
I agree with MG that your friend must look like Benicio del Toro. Benicio's face has "dissolution" written all over it. I hope you have fun reconnecting, but don't do anything that would keep you from getting back in one piece!
by jean at February 23, 2005 3:47 AM
I will miss you Anna. Be safe.
by lockheed at February 23, 2005 4:55 AM
Thanks to all for the well wishes. Actually Hey didn't run his former business very well. Debts often went unpaid with no retribution or threats. And he's Greek, so yeah he probably does look a little like that guy in Usual Suspects. But at the end there, more like Al Pacino at the finale of Scarface. Say hello to my little friend. I shoulda used that as the title.
by anna at February 23, 2005 7:45 AM
Say helloh toh mah leetol frien'!
God speed Anna.
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at February 23, 2005 8:42 AM
That movie is the best. Michelle Pfeiffer's best work. His sister getting banged by a Guido in the bathroom stall. All of it.
by anna at February 23, 2005 6:16 PM
There's also the fact that Tampa, really all of Florida, sucks. Trust me, I live here.
by Kevin at February 24, 2005 3:26 AM
That's encouraging. I thought it was just the Orlando area. Oh and should I wear short or long sleeves?
by anna at February 24, 2005 6:01 AM
so who wants to suck my cock
by nathan at June 7, 2005 5:37 PM