anna

I used to have an Oscar in my fish tank but it died

by anna at 06:50 PM on February 25, 2005

I swear this is the last you'll hear from me until I return from my sojurn to sunny FLA. It's snowed here and it's a mess, so the trip south is seeming more and more palatable. What isn't is the impending deluge of false hype, speculation, overblown hyperbole and everything else that is disgusting about...

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comments (16)

dominathan

rotf prolly make lol possible. WOOT

by dominathan at 01:23 PM on February 25, 2005

This entry is inspired by my friend Joe.

During an MSN messenger conversation he commented on what a "cop-out" he thought using "lol" by itself was. Essentially he pointed out how with those three simple letters he was essential avoiding the end of a converstaion, but at the same time adding nothing to it.

I have heard others complain of the way prople shorten certain words, the most notable I can think of is prolly for probably. I've heard arguements that it is the degradation of the English language. (really I still balme spell check) It wasn't until i took a sociology class last semester that I realized it is not necessarily so.

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comments (15)

anna

Your logic ties me up and rapes me

by anna at 05:05 PM on February 24, 2005

This little ditty was inspired by Nathan and Chris's recent post. If you easily offended, read no further.

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comments (49)

anna

Flute that toots and a bee that stings

by anna at 07:25 PM on February 22, 2005

Judging by the tepid response to some of my recent entries I won't be missed much, but for the record I'll be leaving for a while soon. My dreaded plane flight to Tampa awaits. I'm figuring maybe I'll depart now for my Sunday flight. Security delays, you know.

It's not all bad. Sure there's the unpaid overtime, fear of flying and general discomfort about being someplace without my wife. We've been together so long it's just weird to be on my own. But I may take this opportunity to look up my old friend Whore Hey. In the past I've been pretty cryptic about this guy.

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comments (10)

dominathan

Equality in every manner

by dominathan at 12:58 PM on February 22, 2005

The other day a I had a completely random thought. Some of the talk about women's rights make me think this may be valid.

I am an advocate of equality in every way shape and form, but our legal system, among other aspects of Western society, make me wonder how equal we really are.

My sister recently brought up the idea of creating a Women's only group for an organization in which she is participating. She asked my opinion on if I was offended. I wasn't, but my point is that they are creating a group to discuss men, men should have a right to be present. And ultimately if equality is the ideal, how will segregating yourself from half the population bring that about?

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comments (36)

anna

It's all over now, baby blue

by anna at 06:17 PM on February 21, 2005

Al-K Duh has finally made good on its threats to top their prior triumph. Osama’s minions have assassinated President Bush and Dick Cheney. Condi Rice briefly asserts that she is in control but she has her throat slit for being a woman with a job. Swarms of swarthy snipers are fanning out across New York, shooting random infidels at traffic lights. The Capitol is in flames. Planes are falling from the sky like clay pigeons at a skeet shooting match, victims of readily available shoulder-mounted surface to air missiles. Wall Street and Hollywood and Vine lay in ruins after dirty bombs were detonated there. Anthrax, plague and other bio-toxins waft through the air. Similar conflagrations rage across Britain, Canada and Australia. The terrorists have won.

So now what? President bin Laden and Vice President “Doc” Zawahiri hastily call a news conference with Bush’s bloodied noggin on a pike by the podium. They seem oddly cordial as they announce the immediate implementation of the strict Wahhibi interpretation of sharia, or Islamic law.

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comments (4)

jean

You're happy cause you're cozy and the rain comes rattling in

by jean at 04:51 AM on February 21, 2005

It's been raining a lot here in Los Angeles. On behalf of Southern California, I'd like to apologize to Snaggle. Snaggle, if it's not like this again next year, then it shouldn't rain like this again for several years.

It's been raining so much here that I'm really tempted to buy a raincoat, but if I get one, it's very possible that it wouldn't get used more than 20 times in the next four years. I have a beautiful and expensive umbrella that my little sister gave me for my birthday five years ago, and it's gotten more use this season than it has in all the years I've owned it-- combined. I'm not kidding. Just a few years ago, Los Angeles went more than 300 days without rain. I repeat: this season is quite unusual.

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comments (7)

adam

Living Small

by adam at 10:52 PM on February 20, 2005

I've always thought that small was beautiful. For 3 years my only computer was about the size of a small hardcover book. I've replaced cellphones, PDAs, and even cars because I was attracted to things small. Now my girlfriend has gotten into the act with this purchase. Well, since seeing this post on MeFi, I've been captivated by the idea of small-footprint living. You see, we're moving to the Bay Area in July, and we'll be out there for at least five years. We need a place to live, but five years of rent will be quite a hefty chunk of change. I looked at my current apartment, which I share, and asked myself if I could live in a 500 square-foot house, about the same size as my current digs. The answer, I believe, is "yes," and now we're thinking about buying one of these little things as an alternative to either paying rent, which we don't want, or an expensive 1500 square-foot house which we, strictly speaking, don't need.

Common sense tells me that: first, you can't have a small house; second, you should never buy property if you're not sure you'll be able to sell it. But if we spend the money that we'd otherwise spend on five years of rent buying our little B-52 Bungalo, who cares if we never sell it? We could rent it, use it as a vacation house, or whatever, and still be ahead because the money that would otherwise go to a faceless property management company or an absentee landlord would still be ours. This isn't a big act of rebellion, and I'm not even sure if the Public Planning people will let us build one of these, but if they do we'll be able to have our own place, pay off our debts, and start saving before we ever thought we could. And that, I think, is a pretty good thing.

comments (14)

chris

Be a good Samaritan and let people die.

by chris at 04:23 AM on February 20, 2005

Can you say blastocyst? (pronounced: BLAST-o-sist) Good. Next time you hear someone talk about embryonic stem cell research you should correct them and mention that the term "embryonic stem cell" is something of a misnomer. Early stem cells are harvested from blastocysts, not embryos. Why does it matter? It matters because the meaning people attach to something is often directly related to the accuracy of the words used to describe it. When people think of embryos, they think of little partially formed beings with tiny beating hearts and limb buds. They see something of themselves, and that's meaningful. Scientifically speaking a mammalian embryo can have a fairly broad definition but is usually considered to be post-implantation, once the long axis forms, and tissues begin to form and differentiate. A blastocyst, on the other hand, is a soccer-ball like clump of approximately 150 cells. There is very little that is recognizable about it at all, except that it is round.

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comments (20)

anna

Good bye Dan Rather

by anna at 11:20 AM on February 19, 2005

Dan succeeded the icon Walter Cronkite. He looked kind of boyish back then. You remembered him in cognito, sneaking into Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. Over the years he aged and became the same kind of grandfatherly figure as his predecessor. For a while he was paired with Connie Chung and looked majorly miffed at sharing the spotlight with her. Now he's gone, retired in shame. Boyish Brian Williams has taken his place. This is my requiem for the old fool.

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comments (10)

anna

With 2 cats in the yard, life used to be so hard

by anna at 06:31 PM on February 17, 2005

When we moved to this house we noticed a cat hanging around the carport. It obviously belonged to someone as it looked well-fed and was declawed. We kind of ignored it at first, because we've already got a cat. To have more than one makes you a Cat Person, and you don't want that.

It kept hanging around and my wife started feeding it. Big mistake. Before long it was lurking near the doorway and lunging inside. We'd throw it out but it would come back. Then my son named him Ghost. Bigger mistake. Now we're Cat People.

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comments (16)

dominathan

You Can Only Make One first Impression

by dominathan at 10:37 AM on February 16, 2005

I began a new job as a cook just the other day. So far it has been going ok. More recently, last night in fact, I feel I may have jeopardized how I am and will be perceived by the managers.

I am not easily embarassed. I have no qualms with dropping my pants on a whim, saying anything random just to illicit a response, or even referring and telling stories about the stupid things I have done while drunk. This time its different.

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comments (28)

anna

Oh man, I need TV when I've got T. Rex

by anna at 06:48 PM on February 15, 2005

As a kid I had a tiger-stripe bathrobe that I wore and dragged around like Linus with his security blanket for years. It never got washed. Every so often my mom would chuck it in the trash but I'd always fish it out. Eventually she burned it. I bawled like a little baby.

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comments (9)

jean

I Spent Four Years Prostrate to the Higher Mind

by jean at 12:39 PM on February 15, 2005

As with Chuck, here is my post which was promised to Anna. I'm sorry if I'm a little incoherent, as I have the flu.

I applied to a few graduate schools this year.

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comments (18)

megan

Don't look too scared...

by megan at 06:56 AM on February 15, 2005

Greetings. As will probably be apparent to you, I’m new. MG tells me that he doesn’t think his infamous posting guides, being myself and telling a story, will be a problem for me. I’m not sure whether that’s a compliment or a well disguised insult, but I’ll take it as the former so as to get off to the right start around here.

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comments (19)

chuck woolery

Honour, by whose definition?

by chuck woolery at 06:13 PM on February 14, 2005

In honour of my pledge to Anna (and the site at large I suppose) I decided to compose a post for today. Then I couldn’t think of anything to write. I suppose that could partially explain why I haven’t posted more here in the time that I have been an author… Anyway.

I then hit on a unlikely source of inspiration, my job. Of course a few of my posts have been about my work, but this is a little different. I found inspiration in the police statement of a fellow who is accused of 1st degree murder (that’s the most serious class of Murder in Canada, planned and deliberate, cold calculated etc.)

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comments (16)

mg

when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get sprung

by mg at 05:03 PM on February 14, 2005

People will warn you about the dangers of not using spell check before sending out emails at work. Well, I’m here to warn you about the dangers of using spell check at work.

Earlier today I was composing an email and completely mangled the spelling of the word "analyzing." My abuse of the English language looked something like this:

analysizing

Before hitting "send" I hit "spell check," which has admittedly saved my ass more than one occasion. However, this time it conspired to cause me embarrassment and personal and professional shame. The suggested re-spelling for my distortion of "analyze" was:

anal sizing

I decided to hit send anyway.

comments (17)

anna

The bitterness of one who's left behind

by anna at 06:48 PM on February 13, 2005

Several years ago the Sports Junkies debuted on a local radio station. I was instantly way cised for them. You could tell they’d known each other a long time by the way they were always finishing each other’s sentences and sharing inside jokes and anecdotes, like an old married couple does. They had nicknames for one another. They also shared a lingo that at first proved difficult to follow, but you kind of picked it up from the context.

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comments (2)

mg

Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!

by mg at 05:27 PM on February 13, 2005

Though I’ve lived in New York City for most of my life, I can count on two fingers the number of art openings I’ve been to. It isn’t that I’m not interested in art, I’m just not interested in the pomp and circumstance that surrounds these kinds of events. Still, I couldn’t keep away from an opening here in the city this weekend. It was for Christo: The Gates.

Christo is famous for his landscape art like the umbrellas in Japan, the running wall in California, and covering the Reichstag in Germany. This new project, The Gates, includes, uhm, gates with billowy fabric placed along the 26 miles of pathways through Central Park. As news report after news report has mentioned, Christo has wanted to put up these gates for more than 20 years, but the city thought spending millions of dollars for a temporary, and potentially landscape scarring project was just silly. Well, with mayor Mike Bloomberg gearing up for a re-election campaign and looking to boost his popularity, and Christo agreeing to foot the 20 million dollar cost of the project, the wheels were sufficiently greased, and this weekend marked the first of just three weekends that the exhibit will be open.

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comments (11)

anna

Talk to your kids about drugs, they'll thank you later

by anna at 07:44 PM on February 09, 2005

Much later. There's nothing more tiresome than being a parent and seeing some B-list celeb urging you to talk to your kids about drugs. Except maybe being a non-parent and seeing it.

Although without any urging from us my son is adamantly, almost prudishly, opposed to drinking, smoking, drugs and sexual dalliance. He did not inherit this from me.

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comments (21)

anna

Skynard says it a real sweet home but it ain't nothin' to me

by anna at 06:54 PM on February 08, 2005

Actually that band hailed from north Florida but I guess Sweet Home Jacksonville with its Smelly Coffee Factory didn't have as catchy a ring. And that is where I'm headed. Not Jacksonville per se, but Tampa FLA and really, what's the difference? If it's not Ft. Lauderdale or Daytona during Bike Week, I don't want to go.

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comments (4)

mg

bad samaritan: casting call

by mg at 10:36 AM on February 08, 2005

Being an author on Bad Samaritan is probably the greatest job in the world. You get the adoration of millions (well, thousands). People fall all over themselves to buy you gifts. Women rip their tops off wherever you go. Animals hump your legs as soon as you walk in the room. It’s really great.

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comments (23)

mg

don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you will cry, so just look at them and sigh

by mg at 05:41 PM on February 06, 2005

After a long season, the Superbowl will finally be starting in just a couple hours. The pre-game show has been on since roughly 3am last night. The Superbowl pre-game is probably the only time when 8 hours of drunken fans yelling “EAAAAGLESSSSSS” might be considered as national entertainment.

Last year Janet Jackson felt it’d be entertaining to show her boob. And it was. But that fleshy mass caused a ripple effect (or is that nipple effect?) that started around on Janet Jackson’s areola and spread to every media outlet in the country.

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comments (6)

anna

What did I say?

by anna at 09:23 AM on February 05, 2005

All over the internet there are now references to a formerly obscure Colorado professor named Ward Churchill. He's the churl who likened Trade Center stockbrokers murdered on 9/11 to Nazis, opined that those innocent victims had it coming for all the oppressive US policies and all the other (blah,blah) left-wing academic blather we all routinely ignore. He called those deaths, "a penalty befitting their participation in... the might engine of profit." Ah but no mention of his participation in the mighty engine of profit for which he banks a $114,000 salary as a tenured professor. Who cares, right? But for what it's worth, here's his lame rebuttal to the boring right-wing firestorm the recent unearthing of his ill-advised diatribe provoked.

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comments (18)

anna

I have finally found a place to live, in the color of the Lords

by anna at 06:40 PM on February 03, 2005

Showtime movies are so lame I tend to watch ten of them at a time. I can follow the plots, though I do get confused about the characters. The other day I was doing this and I ran across something called Intent to Kill. It starred this chick.

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comments (23)

mg

bad news: teens say 'free speech, no big deal'

by mg at 01:36 PM on February 03, 2005

It turns out the First Amendment is a second-rate issue to many teenagers and adolescents, according to a study of high school attitudes released Monday. The way many high school students see it, government censorship of newspapers may not be a bad thing, and flag burning is hardly protected free speech.

The study points to the continual decreasing budget for high school journalism and school media as causes for the apathy about the importance of the First Amendment. However, the indifference students show towards the First Amendment can also be seen in other areas that had also previously been taken for granted as staples of life and society.

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comments (16)

jen x

hibernating until mr. perfect arrives

by jen x at 11:05 AM on February 02, 2005

Cross-posted from my site, 'cause I'm lame that way.

I don't understand Groundhog's Day. On the radio this morning, they said that Punxsutawney Phil and Shubenacadie Sam had seen their shadows, so that meant that we had another six weeks of winter.

But then they went on to say that our Ontario groundhog, Wiarton Willy, hadn't seen his shadow, so that meant that spring would be arriving in another six weeks.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this just another way of saying, we'll flip a coin, and heads I win, tails you lose? We'll have six more weeks of winter, or in six weeks spring will arrive?! I'm confused.

comments (18)

anna

Some people call me Maurice

by anna at 07:05 PM on February 01, 2005

Cuz I speak of the pompetus of love. What is pompetus?

But here in the vapors I'm known as Anna. In the brick 'n mortar realm they call me Russell. At home I have 2 email acounts. Each has its own screen name and password. My debit card requires a 4 digit PIN. Sometimes Movable Type makes me present a logon name and password. That's when I've got to email MG. I've got accounts all over the net, none of which I can access for lack of proper ID.

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comments (12)

mg

every day create your history, every path you take you're leaving your legacy

by mg at 08:00 AM on February 01, 2005

I try to live my life always on the right side of history.

This is a hard thing to do because, while hindsight is always 20-20, foresight is slightly more astigmatic than Mr. Magoo. It is hard to know in the moment the things you will regret doing, saying, or never doing when looking back on your life. But you certainly have an idea.

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comments (13)