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you see right through me, and I can't hide, i'm naked around you, and it feels so right
by mg at 08:00 AM on January 13, 2005
Thanks to Google and the human male’s one track mind, I never thought I’d see you naked is a remarkably popular feature of the site.
Yet, I haven’t added updated with “Never Naked” for almost a year. Being married to a wife who’d get offended (and rightly so) if I spent several hours a day looking for pictures of naked women curtails my ability and inclination to spend several hours a day looking for pictures of naked women. Add to that having a daughter of my own now, which has made looking at porn begin to make me feel a little uneasy.
Besides, it seems like I might have run through the list of people you’d never expect to see naked, but who actually have naked pictures of them floating around the inter-nets.
A while back someone suggested I start up a segment on the site called “I always though I’d see you naked” to compliment the “Never Naked” feature. That was more than 2 years ago. I don’t remember if I thought it was a funny idea at the time, but I do know I’ve never thought of it since. It only came back into my consciousness at all when the post with that particular comment showed up in the “On this day” widget. It just so happened that Anna making reference to how much he despised Lindsay Lohan.
The confluence of events here was just too overwhelming for me to ignore. Which means you’ve just read through the long-winded introduction to Bad Samaritan’s I always though I’d see you naked.
Lindsay Lohan has the honor of being the first on the list for always naked. Why? If anyone was to make a list of people everyone is expecting to see naked at some point, it’d have to be the young Miss Lohan. Considering all the nip slip pictures of Lindsay Lohan out there on the net, this girl seems to be looking for any excuse to flash her mams.
Once Lohan pries control of her life back from the cold-dead grasp of Walt Disney, she will certainly be looking for ways of distinguishing her “adult” self from her “Mouseketeer” self. Look at Natalie Portman, another child star, who decided to announce her blossom into womanhood with some full-frontal nudity in Closer (in a scene that was cut before final edit of the movie).
Lohan was a 17 year-old dating 24 year-old Wilder Valderama (Fez, from That 70s Show. Even with all that Latin machismo, Fez wasn’t enough for her, and after dumping his ass, she was said to have hooked up with Hollywood’s biggest man-whore, Colin Farrell. While Lohan may play the good girl on the screen, but she is mos def a bad girl inside.
You’ll most assuredly never win an Oscar, so hopefully you can take pride in the knowledge, Lindsay Lohan, that I always thought I’d see you naked.
comments (11)
I don't know who this bird is... :-D But I enjoyed the 'I Never Thought I'd See You Naked' stuff.
I always thought I wanted to see one of my female friends in the nud... She makes a point of wearing extremely skimpy clothes at my BBQ's, and she has(d*) a killer bod. But I stayed at her apt once and stepped into the bathroom as she was towelling down and what I saw made me cringe. I literally had no other reaction, I just stood there cringing.
The bits the skimpy clothes hide should have remained hidden. (*No more in my eyes, no more.)
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at January 13, 2005 11:43 AM
So what's the deal Crimson? Did she have a johnson, a mangy mammoth bush or what? For God's sake, don't leave out the details man.
by Ezy at January 13, 2005 2:22 PM
'MAN WHORE' That's a fucking hilarious term!'
by LOCKHEED at January 13, 2005 5:49 PM
If they weren't already as rich as gods I'd nominate the Olsen twins, particularly the drugged-out emaciated one. That imagery just isn't doing it for me. I also couldn't bring myself to click it with Ian in the room, but sooner or later I have to look at Marie Osmond. How did they get her prim Mormon ass to flash?
Now the Bush twins, that's another story.
by Anna at January 13, 2005 6:13 PM
She had a ruddy great tattoo of Robbie Williams on her left butt cheek. *shudders*
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at January 14, 2005 4:23 AM
Linz has a tattoo. But it isn't Robbie Williams, whoever that is. Tell me you didn't mean Robin Williams. That guy is to wit what Tara Reid is to dramatic acting. Talk about someone who'll never garner an Oscar nod! I would nominate Reid, Lohan and for some reason, Catherine Zeta-Jones. Get more.
by Anna at January 14, 2005 6:15 PM
Robbie Williams is an English pop start. From a boy band, and the when solo and kind of ligit. Think of a British Justin Timberlake.
by mg at January 14, 2005 9:51 PM
Yeah, tis true he was in a pop band named: "Take That!" ... lmao
The 'band' broke up because only one of them could write songs, sing, and play instruments. He wanted to go solo, and he did, flopping big time. Robbie Williams though was perhaps the least talented, and he started to bum around with Oasis, he grew fat and he became known as Noel's lackey. Weekly pictures of him out of his tits on coke, standing behind and to the left of one of the Gallagher brothers trying to fit into the frame at any given opportunity. He was on a downward spiral into oblivion. And then some fecking rehab centre put him backon his feet and thrust him onto an unknowing British public. Those who lived thorugh the 'Take That!' days groaned, but the new generations lapped him up... Music today is so bad... *sob*
He did a duet with Kylie Minogue... The miniature woman who, despite being extremely fuckable, is perhaps the true face of commercial musical crap.
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at January 15, 2005 7:09 AM
Now Kylie I know. Must be weird to be so untalented but famous worldwide for the random shape of your arse. Might as well call her Kylie "The Ass" Minogue. Plus her last name sounds like a dreaded disease, like Molly Ringwald.
by Anna at January 15, 2005 9:13 AM
i think lindsay lohan should have sex with me because she is the hottest chick on the face of the earth i always jack off to her and i also think she does the nipple slips on purpose but im glad she does it though
by kevin at November 16, 2006 3:17 PM
In regards to mg's comment: Please do not think of Robbie Williams as a British Justin Timberlake. The two of them are completely different. One is an extremely talented singer, songwriter and performer who will go down in the history books, the other is a little American wanker who sings like someone's squazing his balls too hard!
by Christine at December 5, 2006 10:27 PM