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ezy

When the shit goes down, you’d better be ready

by ezy at 10:50 AM on January 12, 2005

Hey all, what’s up. I hope everyone had a great holiday, partied like it was 1999, and rested themselves as much as possible. Amy and I had a great season. We watched our money closely, for once, and didn’t leave ourselves with months of catching up to do on credit cards. A step in the right direction, it seems.

We were talking last night about how much of a positive impact quitting the partying lifestyle has had on our lives. We both have more money in the bank due to the lack of drunken shopping sprees, we both have been back in the gym working out for the past week or so, we are much kinder and more loving to one another, and we’ve bought ourselves a freaking house. A house! Holy shit, if you’ve never bought a house then prepare yourself to go through some of the most anxious and stressful moments of your life, to date. The lender pores through your credit history and keeps you guessing if the “numbers will work out right” or not. The realtor assures you that they are working for both you and the seller but you just can’t shake the feeling that they’re having dinner together and laughing behind your back at how gullible you are. This whole process is somewhat of a nightmare but once it’s over, Amy and I will own our first home. It’s nothing too fancy but we fell in love with it as soon as we saw it. It has two bedrooms, two baths, a wrap around deck on the front, a small deck off the master bedroom upstairs, it’s an A frame that looks like a ski chalet, and it’s two minutes from the Shenandoah river. I think it’s going to be a perfect first house for us. There are a few upgrades I want to do like a two car garage with an area for a work bench, central air and heating but it’s livable the way it is. We close on Feb. 25th if the inspection goes well and the house appraises for the amount we offered. Everything feels right about the move but it’s still a large investment for us and we both have moments of sheer panic. We’ll survive though. This is the next logical step, right? You can’t throw away your money renting forever if you can afford to call something your own, can you? Well, whether it’s the correct move or not, we’re approved for the loan, have signed a contract with the seller and can’t back out now unless there is something wrong with the house. It’s surprising but that makes it a little easier knowing that you’re locked in. This weekend will be spent throwing away anything I haven’t seen, worn, touched, or looked for in the last two years. That should clear out a bunch of crap. I hate moving and want this to go as smoothly as possible. I considered hiring someone to do it but we really don’t have enough stuff for me to justify it. Oh well, we’ll see.

Another thing, is it just me or does Quiznos have the worst freaking commercials ever? The last one was with two rodents (that’s what they looked like to me) singing about how we should all eat Quiznos subs and that they have a damned pepper bar. Now, they have this baby with an adult male voice selling their crap. Talking babies just aren’t funny. They never have been and they never will be. “Look Who’s Talking” both I & Too should have discouraged anyone, from that point forward, in employing this tactic for comedy. It just doesn’t work. Quiznos, please fire your marketing team/company, talk to ESPN’s marketing team/company, and get some decent commercials. Yours make me want to vomit. Also, using animals that look like roadkill to sell food is never a good idea. The negative mental image stays with you. Thank you.

comments (7)

congrats on becoming a homeowner! it's the best investment you'll ever make.

by JC at January 12, 2005 12:14 PM


Best thing about a new place is when you're in there and unpacked, everything is perfect for at least two months. Because you haven't hauled any crap and everything in drawers and cupboards is organised. You don't yet have a 'shit' drawer filled with pennies, screws, tape, a little circle rubber thing that you know is off something but gave up a long time ago trying to figure out what, but you still can't throw it away just in case. Those drawers rock when you're looking for something important, and when you're usually looking as a last resort but are so pissed that you haven't found what you’re looking for you're rifling through it with a vengeance. Every time you come to close it after you rapid search, something catches your eye and for a second it looks like what you were looking for, open the drawer again though and its gone. Repeat at least three times before giving upon that drawer.

Me, I’ve decided I’m never experiencing the above. I’ll live the rest of my life with a woman who already owns the home of her dreams, and who never wants to move.

The commercial I haven’t seen, but they’re currently appealing to the people of the UK who, in my humble opinion have already given more than enough, to donate to Tsunami victims. Who you ask have they nominated to appeal to us as an audience? who are the people to whom we can relate and who we adore? Who, if we think they’re giving some of their cash, well, then we’d better do the same? Yes of course…

The Osbournes, Sharon and Ozzy. *click* *BANG* *slump*

*wills his cash to an abused British kid*

by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at January 12, 2005 1:05 PM


The singing rodents are calleed "Sponge Monkeys". You can find them on rathergood.com. A couple of crazy blokes from England thought of them. Pretty funny actually.

by Long time lurker at January 12, 2005 1:49 PM


Thanks JC ;-) Exciting but very scary stuff. I got a little stoned after dinner last night and almost worked myself into a panic attack while thinking about it. Paranoia at its finest. I'm much better today.

I have an entire storage unit full of crap like that Crimson. I am the worst pack rat I know. I keep more useless shit than anyone I know. I can't seem to ever make myself throw any of it away. The cleaning I am doing this weekend goes against every fiber of my being but it has to be done. It's ridiculous to keep things you, logically, know that you'll never use again but, illogically, hang on to for sentimental reasons. It's going to be tough to do sober. If I could just get drunk, before the big clean, I would have no reservations throwing out everything. The only problem with that is that I'd probably throw out the good with the bad. Decisions, decisions.

by Ezy at January 12, 2005 2:41 PM


Yea Lurker, I have to say that they're pretty funny but I don't think they're the best emissaries for a food chain. It just made me associate Quiznos subs with messed up looking rodents. Not good for business.

by Ezy at January 12, 2005 2:53 PM


Ezy, I know it's stressful. And the realty people always seem to wait till the last minute to spring some shit on you like they need copies of all the utility bills you've ever paid in your life and the cancelled checks to prove it. Bad thing for those of us who toss their bank statements without even opening them. Oh well, at least you're not selling and buying a home at once. That's what we did last year. Our buyer's financing fell thru on the eve of settlement setting off a cascade of heartbreak for other would-be sellers and buyers. F U Claudia M!

by Anna at January 12, 2005 6:26 PM


See I avoid all of that waste of worry by having my bank take care of my bills. See they have it all setup where the bills are done paid off and then they call me up and say, "Hey man, you got thi$ much money and have fun.

Not much of a problem for me, I work at McDonalds and live in a low rental house on a house below a house.

Try it, the bank usually finds a way of saving you a few hundred a month, at least mine does.

by Patrick at February 4, 2005 5:01 AM