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They're beating plowshares into swords for this tired old man that we've elected king
by anna at 11:20 AM on January 08, 2005
The above line was written about Ronald Reagan. It's obvious Don Henley regarded him as a buffoon, as did many others. So you've got to wonder why they started lionizing him long before his death. There's buildings, airports and battleships named after him. Some fools want a Reagan memorial in every county. When he died flags stayed at half-mast for a month. 150,000 dead tsunami victims only warranted a week. Reagan is worth 600,000 of them. Why?
It's the sorry-ass competition, stupid. Take JFK for example. You remember him, the smooth-talking cad who brought the world to the brink of destruction in a game of nuclear chicken, hung those Cuban exiles up like human pinatas for Castro to belt, got us entangled in Nam and dreamed up the money-draining boondoggle that is the space program. For which we have to show what? Tang, moon rocks, a couple blown up shuttles, Mars rovers gone astray and the ISS overhead. The only reason history gives him a pass is cuz he got capped by the mob or CIA or both.
He was succeeded by Lyndon Johnson. He escalated the senseless war, saddled us with expensive social programs and didn't even run for a second term. After him came Nixon, who brought the US military its first bitter taste of defeat. He was a foul-mouthed, paranoid drunk and a creep to boot. He resigned in disgrace.
Next came Ford, a nice enough chap but a bumbling oaf and a lifelong legislator. Charisma wasn't his strong suit either. He never won a national election. Then there was Carter, an eeily calm peanut farmer from Georgia. He brought us double-digit inflation and got our hostages snatched in Iran. He botched their attempted rescue. After Reagan kicked his ass, like do-gooder Jesse Jackson, he flitted around the world mediating things. That's annoying.
After Reagan you had Bush I, an absolute charisma vacuum. He'd walk in a room and promptly suck all errant charisma out of it. He left Saddam in power. He tooled around mindlessly on his speedboat. Like John Kerry, he sought to offset his patrician air by tapping a boyish senator as running mate. It didn't work. He got trounced by Clinton after 4 forgettably prudent years in office.
Now Clinton exuded charisma galore. But he was a blatant skirt-chaser, dug fat chicks and by some accounts was a rapist and murderer. He and his shrew of a wife were two of the most divisive figures ever to come down the pike. That's why he got impeached. Not for his failure to deal with the Osama menace, opting instead to launch a bloodless war against Slobo Dan.
Lastly there's Bush II, with his boyish smirk, false bravado and stumbling speech. And talk about divisive figures! And it's not like voters ever had much choice. You had Fritz "The Cat" Mondale, Kerry and Michael Do Cock Kiss looking like they'd been wheeled out of the morgue and Libby Dole's worst nightmare, a Viagra-crazed Bob Dole.
Reagan is starting to sound better and better, no? And I think there's a parallel in the UK, with Iron Lady Margaret Thatcher.
Bedtime for Bonzo, anyone?
comments (5)
Forget the Paris tape. Forget the Pam/Tommy tape. Give me tape of JFK and his brother Bobby on either end of Marilyn Monroe, high-fiving and exhorting one another in those clipped Bostonian accents.
by Anna at January 8, 2005 2:46 PM
Parallel with an iron fist and Cobra's hiss... Eh. Aah hah hah. Kennedy and Clinton did some good things for your country, and Clinton especially did wonders for a collective perception of America worldwide. He made it seem like you 'had' a decent basket of foreign policies, and didn't he also work some wonders domestically?
You, my American friends, have a habit of killing or discrediting the men who could make your country something greater than it is. You think Tony Blair isn't having his rocks fondled by a secretary? You think Gordon Brown ain't shafting Mrs Blair? Heh heh, watching Clinton in the 'I did not have sexual relations' video was a sad time for me, he was all over the world using a giant American hand to suppress the bickering mouths of age olde conflicts and forcing talks were previously it had been a twat trying to get them. Now, lol, you could put W Bush through the same public video ordeal but instead of asking about extramarital affairs ask him questions about democratic policies and of how he thinks a nation should be governed. And the result would be an audience sitting in complete silence with jaws hanging open and with ready hands to slap their collective foreheads. What a buffoon he is! Clinton, at the very least, knew his trade.
‘But he was a liar,’ you call. They all are, ‘We reply.’
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at January 10, 2005 4:26 AM
It's always good to get some perspective from other nations about US leaders. I tend to agreee about Clinton, he did project a more decent image for us. But JFK, no. I get in, how do you say, heated rows with my mother-in-law about him. She thinks he and his whole dynastic family walk on water. People like to believe in dynasties, like the Yankees.
by Anna at January 10, 2005 7:33 AM
I always thought the main conspiracy surrounding Herr Kennedy's death was that he had no intention of going to war in Vietnam, or anywhere for that matter. His interests 'orbited' (Heh) seeing the human race reach new heights... Space exploration and the like. I reckon if that marksmen hadn't have knocked the grey matter out of the poor guys head, that humans would have colonised the Moon by now. Or at least greater funding and technologies for space exploration would have been created at a superior rate.
"We need this war cos war can be good for a country's economy." Wasn't that the notion of the 'fictional' conspirators?
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at January 10, 2005 10:21 AM
Crimson looks like it's you and me on this one. But I'll try it: *crickets* Hey it worked for MG. Oh and for the record pretty boy JFK did send the first troops to Nam. Though he called them advisors, none of my advisors carry guns. At least not openly.
by Anna at January 10, 2005 6:45 PM