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It kind of starts out real slow and then fizzles out altogether
by anna at 06:14 PM on January 17, 2005
The Twenties weren’t called the Roaring Twenties for nothing. The Industrial Revolution was in full swing. For the first time, average Joes had access to telephones, affordable cars, motion pictures, airplanes and horny flappers. The stock market surged to record levels. Once-strict moral codes were relaxed. Life was good. Then it all came tumbling down in 1929, followed by the Great Depression.
But the Okies of the early 30s didn’t know they were grappling with any Depression, Great or otherwise. They just knew there was a prolonged drought that gave rise to the dustbowl and that jobs seemed to dry up overnight. So they did what any reasonable person without a welfare safety net and thus at imminent risk for starving to death would do: Packed up their belongings in Beverly Hillbillies-like trucks and set out to find work.
It’s the same deal now, only we don’t know it yet. Consider the parallels. The Nineties was a blessed decade marked by unprecedented economic growth and technological innovation. Remember the dot-com bubble and the so-called New Economy? How about “budget surpluses?” Or our suave president who could actually string together a coherent sentence or two, and got noisy blowjobs while conducting national business to boot? The Simpsons debuted. There was great music from the likes of the Meat Puppets, Spin Doctors and gin blossoms. Nobody saved any money but that was okay since we always had Social Security and Medicare to fall back on. ATMs were invented. We had the OJ Trial to entertain us. Ellen DeGeneres came out as a lesbian and paraded around with kooky Anne Heche. The lecherous president beamed as they smooched at White House soirees. It was a hoot. Oh sure, there were nerds nagging us about the Y2k boondoggle or global warming or cooling or terrorism or whatever; but nobody ever listens to nerds.
For me the only fly in the ointment was that Coach Joe Gibbs retired in 1992. My beloved Redskins promptly spiraled into a sharp decline.
When I say the Nineties I mean January 20, 1992, when Clinton was inaugurated through September 10, 2001. Then came the tragedy and everything wilted. The stock market plummeted. We find ourselves in a perpetual state of warfare. We have terrorism threat matrixes. We have Amber Alerts. We see naked human pyramids. We’re told that Social Security and Medicare are kaput.
Quality music is non-existent. Huge, corrupt corporations collapse overnight. People lose their life savings to these swindlers and yet nobody is seemingly to blame. There are a string of highly celebrated murders (Phil Spector, Robert Blake, Chandra Levy and the list goes on) and yet again, nobody is culpable. Pricey i-Pods were invented so you could download all those useless songs. My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss debuted. Sultry Portia del Rio moves in with The Tongue, demoralizing men the world over. What’s more, the internet never lived up to its promise. It’s a vast wasteland strewn with lethal viruses and 8,000,000 websites devoted to gambling, porn, 4 hour erections and scams. It just sucks. It sucks so bad that 5 years in, this damn decade doesn’t even have a name let alone a nickname like the Roaring Twenties.
Coach Joe is back but the Redskins still blow. So we might as well name the damn decade before it fizzles out.
comments (26)
"Quality music is non-existent."
HEY! If you were part of the Bad Samaritan Mix CD Exchange, you'd know better.
by MrBlank at January 17, 2005 10:21 PM
As soon as we hit the double zer0 Britain started calling this decade the naughties. I miss the nineties... :-(
I'm with Anna on this one... Five years into a decade and I can't think of anything worth praising. Maybe cos I'm a gamer I can sing a lil for the gorgeous Doom 3 and the surreally good Half Life 2 and Counter Strike Source. But they’re nothing new, better visuals and engines that can recreate all the physics of the real world, but the games are just reworked, they’re the same with a new lick of paint.
I’ve upgraded and formatted my PC’s three times this year, Trojans up the ass, worms to make your eyes water, and late virus updates from the companies who make the ‘protection’ after they’ve already sent out the worms. A massive German movement of computer experts talking in 1337zpEAk, and fighting to wreck the ‘innocent’ users’ experience of t’internet by royally screwing over their computers. Against the medium for the reasons Anna has already listed: “8,000,000 websites devoted to gambling, porn, 4 hour erections and scams.” And fighting by utilising the other things Anna mentioned: “Lethal viruses.” – Trojan, worms, sitters…
I can agree too because for some reason the fashion of the Eighties has made a return here… Now is it just me or was the Eighties the fashion free decade!? The Eighties was a time that men wore mullets with pride, women shoulder pads designed for NFL players… The Eighties was a decade for some great music, but it was the decade that fashion forgot.
Look on the bright side though… All our base still belong to Bill Gates. I’m waiting for that dude to raise an army of corporate nerds, a second army of technologically advanced gun-toting cybermen… And to declare war on the world, starting by hitting a single button to disable all the nukes and their ancient-tech guidance systems. Behold, overlord Gates… “Oh-wee-oh-oh Oh-wee-oh-oh.”
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at January 18, 2005 7:36 AM
Well Mr. Blank it's not for lack of trying. I want to belong like that Counting Crow wants to believe. And it's funny you'd mention the bit about viruses NCO. My son, who knows a bit about computers and programming and isn't afraid of the machine's innards like me, has a theory. He figures nobody but the virus protection people would A) Stand to gain enough to even bother unleashing the damn things B) Have the knowhow to make it work with all the protections already in place.
Like the naughties. Vh-1 presents I Love the Naughties Part Deux.
by Anna at January 18, 2005 7:47 AM
I really dont think the software protection agencies are the people to blame for spyware, malware and the other forms of viruses out there. I blame largely the advertsing agencies for the numerous pop-ups, as the industry created the ideal that theer is no place sacred enough to be ad free, cyber space included (ironic as i am an advertsing student now, i guess my soul does have a price). I also blame humanity because as soon as we invented the computer we started hacking. Hackers and the public will always be one step ahead of the spyware and viruses detectors, because frankly there is no cure without a disease. Most of all i blame the government. Frankly, becuase there are no laws (at least in Canada) against creating the malware, there is no reason to deter from it. if it really is a social problems, and most would say it has become one, why isn't there a negative sanction against those creating it? I say we take away computers from anyone known to create a virus for a year... or maybe even a life time ban for some forms of cyber murder.
by dominathan at January 18, 2005 8:50 AM
Backup everything on your PC and set a restore point...
Install Bullguard (Includes firewall, virus protection.), use the trial for a day or two, and then uninstall it, as you do you'll be given a chance to leave comments for their benefit. "Why did you DL it?" "Was it easy to use?" Fill that in and state that you DL'd it because of that damned Spyware... Almost immediately after closing said window, watch as your PC revels in the glory that are search pages and pop ups galore. *dances* Coincidence? Like frook!
Install Spysweeper to locate the nasties or Restore your comp cos that stuff ain't leaving.
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at January 18, 2005 9:21 AM
That is rediculous. I guess people will always push the limits we let them.
by dominathan at January 18, 2005 11:59 AM
Use Firefox instead of Internet Explorer. It's scary what IE will let other people do to your computer if you aren't paying attention. Also, if you have WinXP, use 'windows update' and update to service pack 2.
by MrBlank at January 18, 2005 12:06 PM
ANNA, I was just going to post on my own blog on how to survive the next great depression...
...like minds... unestablished intellectuals will always suffer...
...Do you think I should work for AIG?
by LOCKHEED at January 18, 2005 6:16 PM
I don't know if I ever posted it but I think that crimes should be punished based not mainly on their relative heinousness, as it's all pretty heinous when it happens to you (speaking as one who's been mugged and burglarized and wrongly accused of murder) but more due to the inanity of the act. Think vandalism, hacking, viruses, financial crimes by people with plenty of money like Martha Stewart and serial murder for kicks. In Monster, they tried to clean up that shithead Wournos and make excuses for what were essentially useless crimes. It's a good thing, then, that she got the ultimate penalty. But a lot of the persons on death row were just desperate minorities robbing convenience stores to get money for food or a fix. How can you compare the two?
by Anna at January 18, 2005 6:19 PM
Death penalty... Eek. I agree with your country's policy of 'Life means life.' But the DP's gotta go guys...
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at January 19, 2005 10:56 AM
Agreed, unless they can figure out a way to apply it evenly to everyone. Now two murders can occur across a state line. One perp buys it and the other is a lifetime ward of the state. Lock, I know a lot about AIG. It's a great company but not always the most scrupulous.
by Anna at January 19, 2005 6:30 PM
Arnold has executed, is it three now? Ye gods, he’s an actor not a politician.
I have this nagging... Uhm... Nag, that wrongly convicted people are imprisoned on a daily basis, that nagging extends to those executed. And even if the evidence is 100% accurate and the criminal is a killer, and there is no doubt, his life should be spent in servitude to the state... Or something. It shouldn't be ended.
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at January 20, 2005 1:15 PM
It's funny though. When someone like Timothy McVeigh or Ted Bundy buys it, the attendance at the inevitable candlelight vigils is always lighter. To me that smacks of a lack of true conviction on death penalty opponents' part.
by anna at January 20, 2005 5:57 PM
Yeah I spose, perhaps they've given up going on about it, nobody listens. In the same way nobody really pays attention to the penalty, murders happen here without the DP, and your end with it... *shrugs*
OT but I was watching the news today and they're harping on about British soldiers making a mockery of Iraqi prisoners in photographs. Three are on trial... All I could think was: "Are the Iraqis involved alive? Do they still have their heads? Oh right."
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at January 20, 2005 6:07 PM
Kudos to the Brit soldiers for at least seeing things through even though there's clearly little point to all the bloodshed, unlike the cowardly Spaniards. Finish it off and then announce to the world that Britain and the US are turning over the world cop mantle to the mighty warriors of France. See how they fucked up those Ivory Coast insurgents.
by Anna at January 20, 2005 9:20 PM
I don't know that keeping their heads is justification to the Iraqi's involved. I'm not sure what took place in these photographs you reference, but sex is a far wose thing to man people people in that world than death. It is an insult to their religion, lifestyle, and families. With the same way we see much responsibility in choosing to end the life of another sentient being, they see it in creating life. Bringing people into a world of destruction and hardship is a big deal, and must be taken on with a good intent. Western society embraces sex to the point that it disgusts many adults. Seeing their children playing the part isn't easy especially at the young age we see it happen, but kids in many other countries don't have time to trade oral sex based on the colour of a bracelet. They carry guns rather than these accessories. Death is accepted because it is part of everyday life, as we accept sex. Back to the orginal point though, seeing these photographs and comparing them to a the beheading I don't think is relevant. It is a matter of perception to call one "worse" than the other.
by dominathan at January 20, 2005 10:21 PM
If you want to I could send you a copy of the decapitation mpegs... You know that young American contractor? And Mr Bigley of the UK.
The photographs taken by British soldiers pale (Understatement) in comparison, and when you watch them you'll be slightly less willing to cite an affront to a persons religion and views on sex as a harsh, or even logical comparison to death. If death was an every day part of their lives they'd be slightly less willing to pose in sexual positions without threat of force, wouldn't they? They'd rather die? Wouldn't they?
You want me to send them?
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at January 21, 2005 4:48 AM
You know, everyone else is just as bad. Every beheading video is the #1 searched item for that week. Morbid is the word.
by Anna at January 21, 2005 7:45 AM
The first was sent to me via email with the title 'Watch This' on the attachment. It was clear as soon as it started what it was... but I did watch it. I'd seen hostage clips of Chechens being shot, hanged, and tortured during some war I failed to acknowledge back when I was a teen, and I didn’t forget it quickly *shudder*. We of the West are desensitised to the imagery of warfare and ‘evil’ things, while many of the East are living it. We watch it in movies and read it in books and we even, hearing about some guy having his head removed, we can sit and say completely anal things without really giving the information our brain is processing time to settle. Yes, says the television, his head was removed!
Those soldiers out there are seeing this stuff first hand, desensitised or not, floating through streets strewn with bodies would screw you up, watching friends getting killed beside you would mess with your head, and when you capture the guys that shot your friends, regardless of what they’re fighting for… They’re damned lucky their captors are from the west, and are part of a democratic army.
I think the majority of people who've watched these things, whether searching for them for kicks or whatever, are shook to the core by what they’re seeing. Suddenly becoming far more reluctant to glorify war than those who haven’t seen it, and they wouldn’t say 'It is a matter of perception to call one "worse" than the other.' Because unless my morals are shot, or my sense of well being for myself and even for my neighbour :) is screwed up. I can say quickly, without even a moments pause, that one is plainly worse than the other. Having somebody 'saw' at your neck with a blades serrated edge as you gargle on your own fluids... Or pose in the nude with a fellow insurgent before you’re washed, fed, and have visits from your family when you get to your cell.
The soldiers were wrong to do it, but they’re not the evil men the news is making them out to be. “Undisciplined, misunderstanding orders, doing what they like.” They’re men like you and me seeing things we can barely envisage, living in an environment in which their lives are in danger every day. And if they were ever caught by their enemy… They know to expect a worse fate than being seen naked in a mock sexual act. They’re just men, like me, and they were venting.
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at January 21, 2005 3:30 PM
I actually have seen the videos as well. I do not condone the actions at all. I believe to behead a man is a terrible thing to do and i would not condone it it any circumstances, or any manner of ending a life (the death penalty included). My thought is more along the lines of an "evil rating system". Two wrongs will never make a right. Everyone in my opinion is wrong in every manner involved. I just see some closure in a death. There is none in a life filled with the regret of having other people violate another person, and that being having to continue their life with a fear of punishment and ridicule. For the same reason we see rape victims often hesitant to come forward, these men will never quite be the same. So i ask agian which is "worse"? 5-10 minutes of pain? or a lifetime of agony?
by dominathan at January 21, 2005 4:16 PM
If I didn't think you were being serious I would lol.
Are you deranged? I would crouch naked behind another man if I thought a beheading was my other option. They were 'mock' sexual activities, I would stick my tongue down another mans throat if it meant I'd get to see my family, my friends, and my stander again. I’d get home, have sex, get drunk, take a holiday, read a book, dance naked in a field, snog a stranger, piss off a high building, eat my favourite chocolate bar, smoke a cigarette, listen to music, I’d live! I choose life... Of course! You can ram the five 'agonising' seconds up the 'A' hole of an Arab, it’s not that that bothers me, it’s the rapid progression into not being alive!!! that bothers me. What an'odd' thing to say.
You'd choose death rather than be posed in a 'mock' sex act? Some weren’t some were tied to a forklift truck as the forks were raised and lowered with them on it wearing nothing but undies. That or beheading? Hmm. Well, the Iraqis obviously didn't choose death, if they even really thought their lives were in danger which I doubt, and I sure as hell wouldn't. To quote Trainspotting: Choose life!
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at January 21, 2005 4:31 PM
I don't think I am deragnged... I do believe I would choose life over a mock sex act as well. I just am aware of my ethnocentric attitude, and that I am not a religious man. I believe some of these men may choose death over potentially angering their god, and this goes for both sides... but lets remember there was little choice involved.
by dominathan at January 21, 2005 6:07 PM
Well you two got a real dialogue going here. All I can add is the same thing I say when people denigrate 19 year old celebs for saying something is "retarded" or whatever. I don't know how old you are, but at 19 (a typical age for a soldier) in a stressful situation I woulda been capable of just about any sort of depravity. Actually I was, but with the discussion going on in the Linz post, I've decided to keep it to myself.
by Anna at January 21, 2005 6:41 PM
The American contractor ‘chose’ to have his head removed to help their cause?
I know drawing a comparison isn't exactly logical... But those were my thoughts when I saw the pictures and heard the uproar concerning the soldiers. The cause of the insurgents is what, exactly? To get the infidels out? Balls, more than half of the insurgents aren't even Iraqis, and those that are I believe are being mislead by non-Iraqis with an entirely different cause of fighting the west.
You talk about respecting religion? It seems like a one way road. We respect theirs by not attacking religious sites, so they hide in religious sites and attack from them. American men and women die by the score as this happens until they are given orders to return fire should it happen again. Before that order the insurgents were enjoying the fact that the ignorant infidels were being shot at but not fighting back, joy, lets kill as many as we can. Do they respect even a single human life, which would probably garner greater support for their cause? Nope. They make demands, they talk, and they threaten... Diplomacy isn't a word on their WotD toilet paper. They destroy a car to kill a marine, ignoring the thirty or so innocents caught and killed in the blast. But hey, the bomber got an infidel! Gimme a break. Car bombs, suicide bombers hoping to get up to heaven to have their way with 70 virgins, killing infidels and pious Muslims alike in their last moment.
And a couple of insurgents are stripped and made to pose for pictures… Aren’t we westerners mean eh. When Americans visit the houses of the brave insurgents, they’re “college students” very innocent, “want peace with America”, and the next day they don their scarves and throw some hand grenades, shoot an AK, kill a marine. Can you imagine fighting that belief as a soldier, and how much you’d want to, not humiliate, but beat the hell out of the insurgents you capture? But what are we doing there in the first place right? Iraq was a golden nation where all Iraqis skipped through life with broad smiles on their faces and in a carefree, peaceful and loving environment, a true pinnacle of Muslim heaven on earth. No, of course not, and to many the coalition invasion was Allah sent. Still, the reasons for our armies being there is extremely dubious. Indeed, and those marines and soldiers are thinking the same thing. They wanna go home, then it’s - grr @ nearby insurgent. “Grab the camera… We’ll show these twats.”
I need bed... babble, babble...
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at January 21, 2005 6:46 PM
I must say I was thinking "Well the didn't ask to be invaded" as i was reading your last entry. I love that you addressed it before I could. The bad part is it took the essence out of this post. I think the concensus must be it is a perpetual problems and there are no real answers, only more questions. It not that i have an abundance of respect for religion, I am an athiest, instead more so for people. I just like to wear the other guys proverbial shoes, and it leads me to devil's advocate often enough. I also can not profess to even have the slightest idea about everyting that happens in a war. I have never served and am fairly confident I never will, half because I am Canadian, and half because the idea of fighting a idealogy i can not see scares me more than death itself. I will stick to paintball I guess and always be slightly naive ine the area of war.
by dominathan at January 21, 2005 11:45 PM
Look. We need to get the fuck out of that hellhole now. It's a no-win situation and will remain that way election or no election. And how can it be a real election when you don't even know the names or policies of the candidates in advance? It's worse than a crapshoot.
by Anna at January 23, 2005 10:08 AM