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Apparently Loquacious...
by snaggle at 08:16 AM on January 01, 2005
There's something about New Year's Eve. No matter who you are, where you are, your relationship status, it's a universal time to really decide to make a difference in your life. That, or just enjoy another excuse to get fucked up.
Me, personally, I view each New Year's as a new beginning. Granted, most often it doesn't end up being that way — the next year plods through the same monotony as before, whether or not I make any attempts at progress. Now, however, that I'm out of school, I feel that I need to make every New Year's somehow special. I don't mean the “That's the year I had the crazy sexy threesome” kind of special; I just mean I made an attempt to make my life better and followed through with it.
I think the only New Year's 'resolution' I've fulfilled was the allowance to spend more money on myself for clothes and haircuts, etc., and the slide that I allowed myself to smoke. Now, however, that's coming to an end.
I'm quitting.
Yes, that was important enough to deserve its own line. I said I would quit when I graduated college, and I've used the excuse that I haven't yet received my diploma (because, technically, I haven't written a couple papers for a class I need to finish....) as a reason to keep smoking. Now, however, I've set a date and made a plan: Nicorette purchased, going to smoke ’till I make myself sick. That's how my boss did it, and it sounds like it'll work. I may have one now and then whilst out, but that's still better than the 4-7 I consume a day.
I'm also going to start working out. I said this before, but now I actually have a motivation — I'm in Los Angeles, and most of the boys in West Hollywood I think are hot are at least somewhat buff. They at least don't have this strange ring of chub around their belly button that confuses me (how can I be underweight and have a strange pudgy part??)
That aside, my main Resolution for this year of 2005 is to continue working on being comfortable in my own skin. It takes a long time. I had a long conversation with a friend about this just tonight (after much wine & champagne) but being okay with yourself is really one of the hardest but most rewarding things one can do.
I'm going to do it. Who resolves with me?
By the way, while I'm at it, I have a question (not a pity plea, no matter what you may think.) People used to enjoy my posts quite a bit, I believe. Am I getting too esoteric or random? Please leave me comments. (So maybe this was a thinly veiled plea for comments.
comments (11)
I'm Going to try and quit too.
The gum gives you a crazy buzz(if you get the right ones)...
I'm going to start working out too...
Also, I've been initiated to the Freemasons(degree 1)---there's 5 degrees, but I am an official MasterMason now.
So, now I have leverage amongst Large White English Men.
by LOCKHEED at January 1, 2005 8:39 AM
Also, Snaggle, when you were a boy, did you first struggle with being Asian/Indian before you struggled with sexual identity?
by LOCKHEED at January 1, 2005 8:41 AM
Dr. FEEEELLLLGGOOOOODDDDD.... he's the one that makes its Alright....
...Snaggle, post now about your experiences with the ancient leaf in powder form.
...a time of change, a new armor, a new skin, keep the virtue, shed the flaws...
by LOCKHEED at January 1, 2005 9:22 AM
It's not random or esoteric. What I've always liked about your posts is that you bring a casually gay perspective to matters, as one might a blonde or bearded perspective, just one of those things---a coincidence. That is so cool. Sometimes my gay associates come across as strident about their sexual preference and I don't dig that as much.
by anna at January 1, 2005 9:43 AM
Awesome point, Anna...
by LOCKHEED at January 1, 2005 10:38 AM
In Anna's view I am a leper. I will NOT stop smoking... They're joyous little sticks of death and I love em dearly. Even if they force me into the December/January cold because they're banned from most public places now, and even if I have to flick the spent cigarette discreetly for fear of being fined. Oh yeah, £50 on the spot fine if you're caught by the poh-lice these days. And they're within their rights to walk you to an ATM to get the £50 there and then. lol
I smoke and work out, and I look healthy, but probably am dying slightly more rapidly than your average non-smoking, social-drinking types, pfft, I care? Looking healthy is all that matters these days anyway, aesthetics rrrrock 'n' rule. White teeth, a tan in winter, a wallet with cash and cards, and fashionable clothing... What more do we consumers need?
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at January 1, 2005 12:40 PM
Addiction advocates want you to believe there's no such thing as a social smoker. Yet there's Snaggle. And I can tell you there are social crackheads too. Go figure.
by Anna at January 1, 2005 12:54 PM
I'm with you Snag. I have quit drinking and have started back on my workout schedule. I decided to start before the New Year rang in but my resolution is to stick to my guns and make it a life decision.
New Years Eve was a tough one though. I went to a party, at my sister's house, and there were about 50 or so drunk peeps having a blast. My brother-in-law, ass that he is, even tempted me with Jager but I passed the test. The best thing about it was the next morning. Amy and I woke up around 7am, sat together at my sister's table, had a cup of coffee and just talked about nothing. Then we watched the walking dead start to appear around 9am. Everyone looked like total shit, even the hot flight attendant friend of someone. I was going to go wake up my bro-in-law with my guitar and loud singing but decided not to be THAT sober person. So, I cleaned up their mess instead so they didn't have to deal with it on a hangover. I'm too nice sometimes.
by Ezy at January 3, 2005 10:50 AM
I'd think the biggest challence facing recovering addicts and reformed smokers is to avoid the temptation to be sanctimonious about it. Looks like you did it Ezy. Congrats.
by Anna at January 3, 2005 11:40 AM
Thanks Anna. Sanctimonious people really get on my nerves. You did something positive for yourself, well then good for you. Just don't go rubbing in everyone's face and looking down your nose at them, that's just acting like an ass.
by Ezy at January 3, 2005 4:36 PM
I haven't had a cigarette in about 5 months (and you were there Snags!) I haven't smoked regularly in about two years. But I still crave the nicotine. It is this emptiness somewhere inside me that I feel only every once in a while when I'll get this feeling like "I really need..." and then realize it is a cigarette. I can't imagine how a recovering heroin addict must feel.
by mg at January 3, 2005 11:46 PM