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and I thank you for choosing me to come through unto life to be
by mg at 07:55 AM on January 26, 2005
It hit me several years ago that I was yuppie. I never really wanted to be labeled, and growing up would never have expected I’d end up a yuppie. But after college I moved back to New York and started working as a consultant during the dot.com boom.
It is hard to escape your definition and just on the young, urban, professional thing alone I fit. Add in that I liked nice things and made enough money to afford them, and yes, I was absolutely a yuppie.
A couple long stints of unemployment changed all that, and I’d feel safe to say it is time for a new label. I’m nearing thirty, so young isn’t entirely accurate anymore. Neither is gay. And as we are seriously considering a move out to the ‘burbs soon, urban is exactly accurate either (if you even consider Queens to be urban in the first place).
I haven’t been looking for a new label for myself, but one was given to me, just yesterday: “daddie.”
Little Franny has been making noises for months now. I say noises instead of talking, because the sounds she has been making are hardly human. If anything, the high pitch squeaks she’s been making since September sound like a dolphin or a modem. It has only been the last month or so that the squealing has been replaced with vowels and consonants.
She started, like most babies, with “da.” I never got excited about it before because the “dada” would be followed by “dadadadadadadadada *modem connecting* thbbbt!.” She wasn’t saying “dad” just making sounds.
Possibly on Monday, but then again yesterday for sure, she looked at me and said “dada.” The wife wasn’t too happy (“I spend all day with her, and she says daddy first?!”), but it sure made my day. I don’t think I’ve been prouder in my life. There has been no recognition, not a graduation, new job, awards, or anything that has meant more than those two little syllables from that tiny toothless mouth.
So, for anyone keeping score, please cross out “yuppie” next to my name, and write in “daddie.”
comments (18)
We can't figure out if our grandson is talking or not. He says "mamamama" when his mom is around but he does it when my wife is there too. He just eyes me suspiciously like everyone else. Must be the lack of a defined jaw.
by Anna at January 26, 2005 8:36 AM
lol, lack, lol, of, lol, defined, lol, jaw, lol. That's great.
Kids have a habit of eyeing me suspiciously, I can enter a room smiling, say 'hell-oh!' in my best, 'Yeah, I'm a responsible, easy going adult' tone, but they'll lower their heads, and lock their eyes on me while sucking whatever they're holding, if holding nothing they substitute with a finger, and they spend a long time just staring at me. Makes me feel guilty about everything bad I’ve ever done because one of those things has to be the reason they’re giving me the eyeball. They know, ‘What’s that you’ve got there?’ *stare* ‘Heh heh.’ *look anywhere but at the kid* *feel the stare, look back* ‘What?’ *stare* ‘I haven’t got whatever you want and I don’t know anything about anything.’ *stare* ‘Alright it was me, I’m sorry, I smashed the vase when I was three, I know you know.’ *stare* ‘Go play with the cat.’ *stare* ‘Seriously you’re freaking me out.’ *stare* ‘It’s rude to stare you know?’ *stare* ‘Beedah booboo mip moo, yip!’ *stare* ‘Alright here’s all my money, take the shades, keep the cigarettes, and the shiny lighter, I give up!’ *stare**stare**stare**stare**stare*
I'll talk to them as if they're adults, and get zero response, but it tickles me to do it so I keep doing it. ‘New asylum reform eh? D’you see the news? Apparently the flux of refugees has increased %60 in the last year alone, make you wonder huh?’*stare* I have a nephew who seems to like me, but that just freaks me out cos his only interest seems to be my reaction to the objects he'll carry over to stick in my face. I take it, go: 'Aaah yeah, good,' and he'll go grab something else for me. 'Just leave it kid, this is all great, seriously, go play with the cat.' I just can’t do the kid thing… A Telly Tubbie being offered to me by a kid is more than likely to be met by me throwing it across the room, fully expecting the kid to go fetch.
I’m gonna call you daddie to MG, to honour your new title.
by Ex Crimson Guard NCO at January 26, 2005 9:40 AM
Sheesh... I realize I'm a guppie and now everyone wants new labels.
by snaggle at January 26, 2005 12:42 PM
It is only human nature to ascribe status to ourselves. Everyone wants to be a part of something. The irony is we do it to be individual and differ ourselves from those around us.
I'll be a little creative and call myself a slurpie -- a student learning unemployment really provides internet education
by dominathan at January 26, 2005 6:13 PM
Slurpie! Mmmm, I love those. But I still maintain that Slurp n Burp is the absolute worst doll name bar none. Never buy little Franny one of those.
by Anna at January 26, 2005 7:18 PM
NOW, that's a sign of the TIMES:
When EVERYBODY knows what the hell you're talking about when you say your Daughter SOUNDS like MODEM. AND that's even OUTDATED!?????
I'm thinking she sounds like a 56K modem? That's cool!
She could probably communicate in BINARY fashion 001101010011000111111000
She could definitely talk to my DAughter!
by Lockheed at January 27, 2005 4:40 AM
The times are weird. My father-in-law emailed me something the other day he saw in someone's blog. If you'd told me five years ago that this would be so mainstream that father-in-laws would be talking about it, and Dan Rather would be losing his job over it, I would never have believed it.
by mg at January 27, 2005 7:51 AM
I thought the same thing when I read this. Nobody's modem shrieks like it's having non-cumsensual prison sex anymore.
by Anna at January 27, 2005 8:50 AM
Right, the sign of the times isn't that everybody knows what a modem sounds like now, but that in a couple years no one will remember what a modem sounds like any more.
by mg at January 27, 2005 9:32 AM
I hear those commercials for business DSL. They act like some businesses still have dial-up service. No way.
by Anna at January 27, 2005 10:35 AM
i was talking about modem noises with people the other day (and ps I busted a gut at work with the modem comment and had to explain to the coworkers)
It's it funny how waaay back in the day, the modem connecting noise was a sound of happiness because you beat out the busy signals trying to connect?
by snaggle at January 27, 2005 2:48 PM
MG, you're my daddy!
by Eviltom at January 27, 2005 10:56 PM
Who's your daddy, who's your daddy? I've often thought that if I were a girl, and some guy said that while we were going at it, that justifiable homicide would be among the options at my disposal.
by Anna at January 28, 2005 7:45 AM
I don't really even understand the fascination behind it. Most girls do not like idea that they date a man similar to their father figure, even though it is often true. It is the idea behind the incest implications that really get to me though. I know if some girl were to proclaim "Who's your mommy!" not only would i be turned off, but i think quite weirded out.
by dominathan at January 28, 2005 12:40 PM
I wonder if gay guys say that to each other in bed?
by mg at January 28, 2005 12:46 PM
Dominathon: "not only would i be turned off, but i think quite weirded out."
I'd tell her my mom's name and carry on, there's no stopping meh! Mua hah hah hah!
by Promoted Crimson Guard CPT at January 28, 2005 1:35 PM
Ya know hearing that from any individual I've ever met on the street, school, the bar, etc. I would be surprised and curious. But not here. I've come expect such advocacy, and all I can say in response is all the power to ya CPT.
by Dominathan at January 29, 2005 8:58 AM
Who's your mommy doesn't work because most folks know for a fact who their mom is, whereas oftentimes there is legitimate doubt about who your daddy is. Thus, aside from the incestual implications, it is an insult, like calling her mother a whore. Or a ho, but not a hoe.
by Anna at January 29, 2005 9:40 AM