anna

You do not need to leave your room

by anna at 10:54 AM on January 30, 2005

It's amazing how much energy and resources people expend trying to separate ourselves from nature. It's the exact opposite of the Native American philosophy of communing with and integrating oneself with Mother Nature. I think it's Her sheer randomness that bothers us the most.

cont'd »

comments (16)

anna

some people claim that there's a woman to blame

by anna at 06:44 PM on January 28, 2005

Nobody wants to admit it, but we here at Bad Sam are a bit snotty. By this I mean we feel this site is not just different but superior to both the "I had a cheeseburger for lunch" journals and those sites that link to and feed off the news of the day. With as many blogs are there are out there, just about every take or opinion on a given news event has already been taken. So we tend to avoid delving into the News of the Day. This is an exception.

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comments (8)

mg

make this money without the friction, take this honey, there goes your diction

by mg at 12:41 PM on January 28, 2005

In a story about the overwhelming generosity of individuals in the wake of the horrific natural disaster in Southeast Asia last month, I read what is perhaps the most insensitive headline ever; A ‘Tsunami’ in Private Giving. Nearly 300,000 people have died or are still missing because of a tsunami and you have the cohones to be making puns?

If I something like that here, it’d be one thing, because who the hell would expect anything different from a website called “Bad Samaritan.” But when that headline comes from The Christian Science Monitor, you just have to wonder what people are thinking. This tsunami thing is a disaster on such a monumental scale that even I’d refrained from making light of it. But from the CSM, well, it just doesn’t seem very Christian of them.

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comments (7)

anna

I can't pretend a stranger is a long awaited friend

by anna at 07:53 PM on January 26, 2005

So little is constant or permanent in our lives. People marry, divorce and remarry. Kids declare their emancipation from domineering parents who insist they brush their teeth or bathe weekly. TV shows like this come and go unnoticed. I guess TV viewers just didn't find the online hijinks amusing. There's nothing more boring than viewing people staring at monitors and clacking away at keyboards. (See: The Net.)

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comments (18)

mg

and I thank you for choosing me to come through unto life to be

by mg at 07:55 AM on January 26, 2005

It hit me several years ago that I was yuppie. I never really wanted to be labeled, and growing up would never have expected I’d end up a yuppie. But after college I moved back to New York and started working as a consultant during the dot.com boom.

It is hard to escape your definition and just on the young, urban, professional thing alone I fit. Add in that I liked nice things and made enough money to afford them, and yes, I was absolutely a yuppie.

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comments (18)

snaggle

Yip Yip

by snaggle at 08:52 PM on January 25, 2005

It hit me this morning. It hit me after I’d exfoliated and toned and moisturized with my Clinique for Men products and applied my eye cream and given my eyebrows one last check (mentally making a note to schedule an eyebrow wax for this weekend.) I think it hit me somewhere between slipping on my Italian blazer over my punk band t-shirt (casually chic) and hopping into my square-toed black Aldo shoes.

It hit me: I’m a yuppie. Or to be more precise, a guppie.

For those of you not familiar with the etymology of this term, “yuppie” comes from “young urban professional.” “Guppie” is a derivation of this, meaning “gay urban professional.”

I’m now officially high-maintenance. I’m not sure whether to be ecstatic or horrified.

comments (9)

anna

I don't know how it all got started, I don't know what they do with their lives

by anna at 07:11 PM on January 21, 2005

At my job there are 4 types of people. There are devoted old women who prattle on constantly about workflow, procedural matters and work product quality. They're called quality assurance specialists, formerly team leaders, formerly supervisors, formerly Your Damn Boss and You Better Not Forget It. As they drone on, drones make that blah, blah, blah hand gesture. Their job is to berate, nettle, judge, badger, pressure or otherwise bother the workers. Then there is the nameless, faceless mass of humanity whose job function is a mystery. You don't acknowledge these folks when you pass in the hall. If you've been around a while there's also a smattering of old hands left from the days when you were all single and got together for happy hour and sometimes a happy ending. You do say hi to these folks, often with disturbing images popping up in your mind.

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comments (23)

anna

Eat a Peach

by anna at 06:42 PM on January 18, 2005

Giant Food is huge here in the DC area. Despite its higher prices, Giant’s sales dwarf those of Shopper’s Food, Safeway and Food Lion. The reasons are manifold: The prices keep foreigner who feel compelled to drag their unruly kids and entire extended families along for a grocery shopping jaunt away. The aisles are wider to allow for easier maneuvering around the harried double-stroller moms dawdling with their carefully typed grocery lists. And the cashiers aren’t surly. They are polite and efficient. They are also well paid because they are in a union, unlike the scabs at Food Lion.

cont'd »

comments (29)

mg

and i would have liked to have known you, but i was just a kid

by mg at 12:03 PM on January 18, 2005

Over the past 4 1/2 years, there have been nearly 50 people who’ve written for BadSam. Nearly every single one of them has eventually left and no longer writes for the site. Frankly, I never minded that anyone left.

The site has, and will continue on without any one of the people who’ve written here, including me. Why? Because BadSam has become its own little virtual community. The makeup of this community has changed significantly over time, but besides for the very beginning when I was the only author and was thrilled on those rare days to be getting more than 10 visitors, this site hasn’t been about any one single person, but the interplay of many people.

This site is a microcosm of the inter-nets, and of life in general. As such, it is expected that people will come and go.

I’ve never expected people to stay here forever, and never felt personally hurt when someone left. Not a single one of those people who’ve left bothered to tell me they were leaving, much less write me a long email to say what an awful person I was and explain that was the reason they were leaving. And lord knows, no one has been in such a tizzy as to go through the archives deleting all their old posts before leaving.

Until last week.

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comments (55)

anna

It kind of starts out real slow and then fizzles out altogether

by anna at 06:14 PM on January 17, 2005

The Twenties weren’t called the Roaring Twenties for nothing. The Industrial Revolution was in full swing. For the first time, average Joes had access to telephones, affordable cars, motion pictures, airplanes and horny flappers. The stock market surged to record levels. Once-strict moral codes were relaxed. Life was good. Then it all came tumbling down in 1929, followed by the Great Depression.

cont'd »

comments (26)

anna

The naked truth

by anna at 06:51 PM on January 14, 2005

This kind of follows MG's last entry, in that it deals in a roundabout way with nakedness and lust.

cont'd »

comments (13)

mg

you see right through me, and I can't hide, i'm naked around you, and it feels so right

by mg at 08:00 AM on January 13, 2005

Thanks to Google and the human male’s one track mind, I never thought I’d see you naked is a remarkably popular feature of the site.

Yet, I haven’t added updated with “Never Naked” for almost a year. Being married to a wife who’d get offended (and rightly so) if I spent several hours a day looking for pictures of naked women curtails my ability and inclination to spend several hours a day looking for pictures of naked women. Add to that having a daughter of my own now, which has made looking at porn begin to make me feel a little uneasy.

cont'd »

comments (11)

anna

If that chick don't wanna know, forget her

by anna at 06:52 PM on January 12, 2005

Seems like every celebrity has a stalker. It's almost like a badge of honor or a rite of passage for them. But us ordinary folks hardly ever get stalked. However, there are exceptions. I should know. I was a stalking victim for years.

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comments (13)

ezy

When the shit goes down, you’d better be ready

by ezy at 10:50 AM on January 12, 2005

Hey all, what’s up. I hope everyone had a great holiday, partied like it was 1999, and rested themselves as much as possible. Amy and I had a great season. We watched our money closely, for once, and didn’t leave ourselves with months of catching up to do on credit cards. A step in the right direction, it seems.

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comments (7)

anna

No more laughing kids in my tree, I mean it must be high or low

by anna at 07:31 PM on January 10, 2005

Lately my son and I have been lollygagging about like Chinamen in an opium den, watching VH-1. We dig shows like the 40 Most Awesomely Bad #1 Hits and the 100 Most Awesomely Bad Metal Songs. We’re unfamiliar with the subject material, but that is irrelevant. We watch for the mockingly sardonic commentary from supposed pop culture experts, often described as an “actor-comedian” or a writer from some obscure webzine or a freakish member of Anthrax. My wife does not join us for these sojurns into mindless inanity. Her idea of pop culture is to crank the classical music she listens to in her SUV. She sees us sitting there transfixed and just shakes her head.

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comments (28)

mg

you're driving me insane, kiss me once more, that's another thing I like you for

by mg at 07:54 AM on January 10, 2005

I don’t usually participate in any sort of bloggy, meme type things, but I’m going join the crowd on this one because a) like that really bad b-sides and covers disc recorded by an artist just to fulfill his record contract, this’ll be an easy way to fulfill my self-imposed mandatory weekly post count, and b) my posts haven’t generated a fiery butt load of comments recently, and this meme is all about comments.

So, here it is: You leave a comment on this entry, and I’ll respond with something cool about you. If you don’t comment very often, you’ve never commented before, or there isn’t anything cool about you, I’ll just make it up. And just to share the love, when you leave your comment, you should say something you think is cool about me. No one should need to make that part up.

This is your chance to let me know how great I am, and for me to let you know how great you are. Who doesn’t need their ego stroked every once in a while? And to think, you wont even need to buy me a drink for me to stroke you, all you’ll have to do is hit the “submit” button.

comments (32)

anna

They're beating plowshares into swords for this tired old man that we've elected king

by anna at 11:20 AM on January 08, 2005

The above line was written about Ronald Reagan. It's obvious Don Henley regarded him as a buffoon, as did many others. So you've got to wonder why they started lionizing him long before his death. There's buildings, airports and battleships named after him. Some fools want a Reagan memorial in every county. When he died flags stayed at half-mast for a month. 150,000 dead tsunami victims only warranted a week. Reagan is worth 600,000 of them. Why?

cont'd »

comments (5)

mg

last stop for a resolution, end of the line, is it confusion?

by mg at 07:36 AM on January 07, 2005

Now that I’m someone’s parent, I don’t get to go out quite as much as I did back when I was only someone’s child. I’m okay with that because I don’t particularly like leaving my house and the idea of going out never quite appeals to me (until I’m actually out and enjoying myself).

Last night I got together with some friends to wish one of them an appropriate bon voyage as she heads off to seminary. Of course, such an event would require a significant amount of drinking to be involved. So, since I don’t often get a chance to post drunk anymore, I thought I’d let you all see the scribbles in my notepad as I was sitting, quite a bit buzzed, on the subway home.

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comments (17)

mg

my scream got lost in a paper cup, you think there's a heaven where some screams have gone

by mg at 07:55 AM on January 05, 2005

There is no sound I hate more than silence and there is nothing so silent as a room where a child should be playing.

I was away last week with the in-laws, and now I’m back because I gots to bring home the bacon. The wife and the kid are still out in the great wide stretch of land commonly referred to as “the red states,” and man is it lonely here without them.

It is too quiet here. I hate quiet. If I’m on my own, I’ll usually leave the TV or radio running in every room because I can’t stand silence for even as long as it takes me to walk into the kitchen to get a glass of water. But I’ve gotten used to having people in my life (and in my house) and their noise is usually enough to make me happy. I need those human sounds. And in particular, I need those human’s sounds.

No one is here to ask me about my day. Or laugh at my jokes. Or tell me to stop making crude jokes (usually the same joke). Or even just to turn the pages of her book while she sits quietly reading. The radio can’t do that. The TV can’t do that. Not even the inter-nets can do that. It has actually gotten to the point that I’m hoping my alcoholic neighbors start yelling at each other so at least I can feel involved in someone else’s home-life conversations.

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comments (21)

anna

You'd bleed just to know you're alive

by anna at 07:39 AM on January 05, 2005

The other day I was dining at Baja Fresh, which features real Mexican tacos and a variety of sauces to put on it for $2 apiece. They make all the ingredients from scratch. In walk two teenage gals, one of whom is looking quite apprehensive. The other reassures her that it’s just like Taco Bell. I’m like, no it isn’t. That’s why I’m here. And it got me to thinking about the way stuff is advertised. And that is never good.

For once, couldn't they just be honest?

cont'd »

comments (5)

jen x

only innocents need apply

by jen x at 09:08 AM on January 04, 2005

Once upon a time, a former coworker described me as virgin flypaper.

The sad thing is, it's true.

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comments (23)

mg

i gotta find why you always go when the wind blows, tell me you're crazy maybe then i'll understand

by mg at 07:57 AM on January 04, 2005

Can there possibly be any better of a recruiting call for atheism/agnosticism than the Asian Tsunami?

There is not one possible scenario in which such a mind-numbingly awful event could take place and would leave room in my heart to believe in a god, or at least believe in a god I’d love and want to worship.

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comments (31)

mg

like a bitch makin' heat, beatin' on my chest, lickin' at my feet

by mg at 07:25 PM on January 03, 2005

I just wandered back from vacation with tonight being the first time I’ve had to check the site in about a week and a half (can’t let the Evangelical Christian in-laws see “Bad Samaritan” in their browser history). So, like I said, I’ve just wandered back and I’ve found the site has become the Anna, Lockheed, and Ex Crimson Guard NCO show (accounting for 46 of the last 50 comments).

And you know what? It is actually quite interesting.

cont'd »

comments (4)

anna

But what I know about is Texas, and down here you're on your own

by anna at 07:04 PM on January 02, 2005

I bet most Iraqis weren't significantly impacted by Saddam's brutal tyranny. They had enough sense to keep their yaps shut and their noses to the grindstone. It's dissidents, rabble-rousers really, who ran afoul of his death squads and wound up in mass graves with that signature single bullet wound to the back of their heads.

cont'd »

comments (8)

anna

Maybe this year will be better than the last

by anna at 12:07 PM on January 01, 2005

I've heard that your personality is pretty much determined by the time you are like, six years old. A combination of nature, nurture and dumb luck makes you the person you are. It is like an irreversible disease. As John Lennon so aptly put it, there's nothing you can do but you can learn how to play the game. It's easy.

cont'd »

comments (22)

snaggle

Apparently Loquacious...

by snaggle at 08:16 AM on January 01, 2005

There's something about New Year's Eve. No matter who you are, where you are, your relationship status, it's a universal time to really decide to make a difference in your life. That, or just enjoy another excuse to get fucked up.

Me, personally, I view each New Year's as a new beginning. Granted, most often it doesn't end up being that way — the next year plods through the same monotony as before, whether or not I make any attempts at progress. Now, however, that I'm out of school, I feel that I need to make every New Year's somehow special. I don't mean the “That's the year I had the crazy sexy threesome” kind of special; I just mean I made an attempt to make my life better and followed through with it.

I think the only New Year's 'resolution' I've fulfilled was the allowance to spend more money on myself for clothes and haircuts, etc., and the slide that I allowed myself to smoke. Now, however, that's coming to an end.

I'm quitting.

Yes, that was important enough to deserve its own line. I said I would quit when I graduated college, and I've used the excuse that I haven't yet received my diploma (because, technically, I haven't written a couple papers for a class I need to finish....) as a reason to keep smoking. Now, however, I've set a date and made a plan: Nicorette purchased, going to smoke ’till I make myself sick. That's how my boss did it, and it sounds like it'll work. I may have one now and then whilst out, but that's still better than the 4-7 I consume a day.

I'm also going to start working out. I said this before, but now I actually have a motivation — I'm in Los Angeles, and most of the boys in West Hollywood I think are hot are at least somewhat buff. They at least don't have this strange ring of chub around their belly button that confuses me (how can I be underweight and have a strange pudgy part??)

That aside, my main Resolution for this year of 2005 is to continue working on being comfortable in my own skin. It takes a long time. I had a long conversation with a friend about this just tonight (after much wine & champagne) but being okay with yourself is really one of the hardest but most rewarding things one can do.

I'm going to do it. Who resolves with me?

By the way, while I'm at it, I have a question (not a pity plea, no matter what you may think.) People used to enjoy my posts quite a bit, I believe. Am I getting too esoteric or random? Please leave me comments. (So maybe this was a thinly veiled plea for comments.

comments (11)