All wrapped up in yourself and your red white and blue

by anna at 07:18 PM on December 16, 2004

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among those are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. -Tom Jefferson
It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you might live as you wish. -Mother Teresa (emphasis added)

These two assertions reflect diametrically opposed worldviews. Tom felt that the pursuit of individual happiness was a prime directive. This is in keeping with what we know about him. He was, after all, a bit of a hedonist. He banged his slave Sally Hennings. He designed Monticello, an elaborate architectural wonder. A dandy, he wore wigs and dressed in finery. Like most hedonists he looked askance at organized religion.

Mama Terry valued hard work, self-sacrifice, discipline and kids. She lived in austere poverty by choice, toiling away on the mean streets of New Delhi. She had the misfortune to die the same week as Princess Di did, so hardly anyone even noticed. It's safe to say she didn't put the pursuit of happiness real high on her priority list.

And these differences are what ails our polarized red-blue society. Blue coastal denizens believe their pursuit of happiness is a given. Red heartland residents are leery of happiness unless it comes cloaked in spirituality. Blues are secular and deny the existence of immutable truths. Reds disagree, as their core beliefs are rooted in religion. Blues embrace alternate lifestyles and points of view, reds do not. Neither is right or wrong.

My state is a microsm of this gaping divide. Here in Northern Virginia we all feed at the Federal trough. The government acts like a super powerful magnet, attracting trillions of tax dollars and swarms of people who seek power and fortune. Like the old Sam Kinnison dictum "go where the food is," they come here because your money has been diverted here. We all make great livings off it. We believe pursuit of happiness is an inalienable right. We think it's a poverty to let the birth of some troublesome rug rat get in the way of our fun. Downstate it's different.

We enjoy the National Gallery of Art, Smithsonian and Kennedy Center for Performing Arts. They have an international speedway and peep shows. We thank you for not smoking within a mile of any person living or dead. There they all smoke when they aren't chewing tobacco or both. We eat bran muffins for breakfast. They drink beer for breakfast. We drive Lexuses and Beamers. They drive pickups with NASCAR insiginia all over it. As Don Henley once put it, the old world shadows hang heavy in the air there. No one holds slaves, but you jsut know they used to. We hire illegal nannies and fail to report their earnings.

So here's how it works: The Federal government saps y'all for 25% of your income. Most of it winds up in our accounts cuz we live here. But a goodly portion of that winds up being syphoned off by the downstaters, who want to ride on spiffy new highways and send their kids to state of the art schools. Meanwhile, we choke on exhaust fumes stuck in traffic 24-7. Our kids attend dilapidated schoolhouses where lead paint flakes and asbestosis fibers rain down like confetti. Naturally this is a source of much friction and animosity. They view us as greedy for balking whenever they ransack our fat bank accounts for more downstate projects. The way they see it we have unlimited easy money thanks to your tax dollars continually pouring into this area. We see them as shiftless, undereducated moochers, cuz that is what they is.

Tom Jefferson, meet Ma Teresa. Ma, meet Tom. It's a match made in heaven.