snaggle

The Morning After Etiquette

by snaggle at 01:53 PM on December 31, 2004

It's happened to all of us. We wake up, unsure of what to say, how to act. Do I comment on last night? Do I make lewd comments? Do I assume I'm oblivious to everything?

I'm not, actually, talking about waking up after hooking up with someone. I'm talking about what to say to your friend's hookup.

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comments (20)

anna

Nothing changes New Year's Day

by anna at 07:46 AM on December 31, 2004

Ah, New Year's Eve. And you know what that means: Police fanning out everywhere to set up their sobriety checkpoints. Which, like everything in this Orwellian nightmare we live in, is a misnomer. They aren't after people who are sober, they are after drunk drivers. And drunk drivers are a constituency, like smokers, with no effective lobby to stand up for their rights. Hence their position erodes by the day as their rights are snatched away.

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comments (6)

anna

I am womyn, hear me snore

by anna at 06:24 PM on December 28, 2004

No entry found for womyn. Did you mean woman? -response you get on Dictionary.com

Like "postmodern," this is one of those terms rarely seen or heard outside the hallowed halls of academia. It's usually seen in connection with studies as in womyn's studies. Someone devised it so that the perfectly serviceable word "woman" won't seem derived from "womb" and "man," even though it was. This is hooey spouted by women who've either had no experiences or bad experiences at the hands of brutish men.

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comments (15)

ezy

Ho Ho Hoes

by ezy at 04:38 PM on December 28, 2004

Merry Christmas all of you guys. Sorry I have been nonexistent on Bad Sam, for a while. The bustle of the holidays and this freaking project I have been working on are killing me. Christmas passed off without a hitch and we finished our shopping without even having to stab anyone. Thatís almost a Christmas miracle itself living in the D.C. area. Itís funny how Christmas can bring out the best and worst in people all at the same time. The frenzied, frantic pace of all of the last minute shoppers is something to behold. I actually saw a lady in such a hurry that she knocked over a little girl, who couldnít have been more than five, without even a look back. I wanted to throw something at her but she disappeared around an isle before I could find something non-lethal but attention grabbing. Well, itís the thought that counts, right?

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comments (9)

anna

Ha!

by anna at 08:56 AM on December 26, 2004

Imagine such cinematic classics as Gone with the Wind or Casablanca resissued on DVD with a cheesy laugh track. Imagine Beethoven's 9th Symphony accompanied by a kazoo and armpit farts.

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anna

I'd ask him what the matter is but I know that he don't talk

by anna at 10:16 AM on December 24, 2004

I'll now hurl this blurb into the yawning abyss that is the Christmas break lull. In the spirit of the season, should it draw no commentary, I'll view it as comment-free.

You might have noticed we've had some new commenting visitors of late. To wit: Fernando down in Argentina and Ex Chrimson NCO from god knows where. We welcome you both. You also may have noticed that at any given time there are 20-30 people on the site. Of those perhaps half a dozen comment frequently. Those same people are often the writers as well. So you could conclude that we have 25 mostly mute lurkers.

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comments (21)

anna

New Miserable Experience

by anna at 11:03 AM on December 23, 2004

I don't mean to complain. Really, I don't. I don't mind the sales clerks' listless "Happy Holidays." I don't mind that they keep malls so hot it feels like visiting an old folks' home in a down parka. I don't mind being bowled over by single-minded shopping moms' double strollers. I mean, look at the towering achievement they've wrought: managing to get pregnant, gestate a baby or two and then enduring the torturous C-section labor. They have every right to treat me like road kill.

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comments (4)

mg

when the band plays "hail to the chief", ooh, they point the cannon at you

by mg at 11:32 AM on December 22, 2004

The fighting in Iraq wonít end until the U.S. leaves. The U.S. canít leave Iraq until a stable, democraticish government is in place. They canít have elections to establish a stable, democraticish government because there is still too much fighting.

It is a never-ending cycle.

The only thing that could possible fix the problem is to make John Kerry the president.

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comments (11)

anna

What we have here is a failure to communicate

by anna at 10:40 AM on December 22, 2004

Once a girl told me she didn't perform a certain act on men. It wasn't that she was prudish, she explained, as she went in for all manner of other stuff with reckless abandon. Nor was it a taste issue.

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comments (6)

mg

i showed her my dictionary to show the words that I know and how loquacious i can be

by mg at 04:14 PM on December 21, 2004

Iím really looking forward to the holidays, if only for a chance to sleep in late.

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comments (5)

anna

Oh Lord, stuck in ol' Lodi again

by anna at 09:46 AM on December 21, 2004

You'll be happy to note that the long-idle French military juggernaut is back in action. In order to avoid the negative connotations associated with the word "troops," the troops are calling themselves "peacekeepers." But they are troops and by all accounts they have acquitted themselves nicely on the battlefield.

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comments (16)

anna

It's been a long December and there's reason to believe...

by anna at 03:58 PM on December 20, 2004

Blank's rant about how silly it is for people to get together and celebrate their absence of belief in dieties got me to thinking about something that's bothered me for a long time: the (non?) existence of antimatter and negative numbers.

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comments (15)

northstar

OK, but who's the smirking f*****g moron next to the two dead white guys?

by northstar at 06:09 PM on December 19, 2004

I swear, on the name of all that is Good, Right, and Holy, that I WILL NEVER, EVER, EVER PURCHASE ANOTHER TIME MAGAZINE AS LONG AS I SHALL LIVE- and I plan on being ornery while I'm still drawing breath for a good, long time.

How sad is it when the face of the forces of hatred, ignorance, and oppression is celebrated by one of the (formerly, at least) most respected media outlets that this country has to offer. Are the maroons who make these decisions completely BLIND to the reality of the world that has been created by Bush and his neo-Conservative fellow travellers? Have we become so undemanding of our leaders that we are willing to lionize the inept, the venal, and the thoroughly corrupt who lead us? And then people wonder why some of us want to relocate to Canada....

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comments (25)

anna

My Christmas Wish

by anna at 11:19 AM on December 18, 2004

Every day they arrive. Swarms of Mexicans flounce across the Rio Grande in search of landscaping and bellhop jobs. Their wives promptly spew out automatic American citizens on the northern shore. Boatloads of Chinese crowd our harbors, some alive some dead some in between. Arab terrorists arrive by plane with bogus visas in one hand and box cutters in the other. They take flight classes but play hookey on the days when they go over takeoff and landing. None of them are ever deported.

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comments (5)

anna

All wrapped up in yourself and your red white and blue

by anna at 07:18 PM on December 16, 2004

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among those are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. -Tom Jefferson
It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you might live as you wish. -Mother Teresa (emphasis added)

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comments (5)

anna

I'm here to give you my soul, you want some fashion show

by anna at 06:37 PM on December 13, 2004

One of my stepdaughters is warm and congenial to me. The other is a tad distant though friendly. I don't know why. Then again, I've never been a stepchild so why would I? My parents were one of those rare couple that stuck together till death did them part. Fun fact: Perhaps the most widely repeated falsehood is that 50% of marriages end in divorce. That misleading stat was derived by comparing the raw numbers of divorces with the raw number of marriages in a given year. That kind of analysis is full of holes.

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comments (10)

chuck woolery

dog tracking and alternate worlds

by chuck woolery at 01:21 PM on December 13, 2004

I have a new (relatively) distraction. Dog tracking. That is teaching your dog (really just giving him the environment and structured stimulus to hone his innate skills) to track people. Itís great fun, and lots of exercise.

My girlfriend found this great trainer in the nearby mountain town of Canmore (www.onthetrail.ca). Frans is a Dutch fellow (Hollish is the term I prefer) who has trained in the Art of dog tracking in Europe. He and his wife / life partner Tara run the business out of their home in Canmore, and mostly use public spaces to run tracks for their clients. My girlfriendís dog Hogan has been tracking for a little over a year now and Otto (remember him?) has now started up. Since that post regarding him he has grown significantly. Heís now just over 70 lbs at approximately 9-10 months of age. Heís still a big, largely uncoordinated goober, with lots of puppy playfulness left in him.

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comments (5)

northstar

Saying goodbye is always the hardest part

by northstar at 05:18 PM on December 12, 2004

If you are fortunate to be able to lead a life of any length at all, eventually you are going to have to say goodbye to a friend or loved one. Death is part of the cycle of life; it's a reality as unchanging, harsh, and immutable as anything one will face in this world. Unfortunately, being cognizant of that reality hardly serves to soften the blow.

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comments (6)

anna

We all know it's lonely up there

by anna at 04:35 PM on December 11, 2004

I am so sick of Lindsey Lohan. Everywhere you look, she's there with that knowing smirk plastered across her face. Overexposure isn't the word. We're literally being Lindsey Lohaned to death, and it's like Chinese water torture.

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comments (10)

anna

The whore the harrier

by anna at 10:27 PM on December 09, 2004

I don't like euphemisms. Euphemisms are a form of lying. - George Carlin

George is right. All this politically correct euphemizing has gone too far. There's so much obfuscation that we can hardly communicate anymore. And while I realize that euphemisms can serve to blunt some awfully unpleasant realities, on balance, they've got to go. So with no further ado I'll open my hyper-realism (MG!) vault and bring you.... THE LIST:

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comments (6)

snaggle

Sex and the (Other) City

by snaggle at 01:54 AM on December 09, 2004

I never really understood the concept of 'dating services' or 'dating sites.' I'll admit I have a prejudice against such ways of meeting people, since the computer is involved in so many aspects of my professional and daily life that it seems somehow perverse to involve it in something so sacrosanct as one's love life. Plus, I was always surrounded by interesting people who, if they weren't themselves potentials, they certainly had friends who could be.

And then I graduated from college.

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comments (7)

mg

next time is the best time we all know, but if there is no next time where to go?

by mg at 07:55 AM on December 08, 2004

Itís not that I donít like the current Bad Samaritan design, itís just that Iíve grown accustomed to its (type) face.

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comments (15)

anna

Wasting our time on cheap talk and wine

by anna at 07:50 AM on December 08, 2004

Posting here as religously as I do, there are times I can't help but feel like the last kid on the playground who is still into Pokemon cards or Beanie Babies or whatever. It seems like hip people like Lajo or Jean or Pantera or that chick who looks like the My So-Called Life girl come, lose interest, and go. Yet here we are.

Could the time be past? And what ever became of Effenheimer?

comments (5)

anna

Want Ads

by anna at 07:46 PM on December 06, 2004

We're looking for volunteers for a study of whether purely heterosexual persons could respond to the oral ministrations of a gay partner. Please answer the following, confidential questionaire.

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comments (7)

anna

I hope that they're not laughing too loud when they hear me talking like this to you

by anna at 10:06 AM on December 05, 2004

It's that time of year when I begin wracking my brain for an appropriate Kwanaa gift for my wife. I don't need to worry much about the other gifts. Lest I storm the mall on 12/10, waving my credit card in a wild gifts-per-hour frenzy, she does most of the shopping. But obviously that one gift must be self-purchased.

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comments (11)

anna

A Steady Diet of Nothing

by anna at 07:35 PM on December 01, 2004

Soldiers are dying in Iraq every day, and for what? Mainly, it seems, so Iraqis can enjoy the sour fruits of democracy. I can't think of a worse goal.

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comments (8)