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breaking up the sausage fest
by jen x at 11:15 AM on November 23, 2004
Okay, so I'm overdue for a post.
The thing is, my life, she is bo-ring. Boring, boring, boring. The most action of note I've gotten the last little while has been from Ezy coming onto me on my site -- somehow, I don't think that counts so much.
I've been out and dating a lot, or just meeting up with people for coffees and so on, and I find it exhausting. So very exhausting.
I used to think that I wanted to get out and date, stop worrying about having a boyfriend and how my actions might look to someone else, whether they'd go and tell on me to my boyfriend and so on...
And then I went through some stupid stuff, including not-quite ending a few relationships before moving onto new ones, and then I got into the dating field for awhile. And you know what?
It sucks. Argh.
It's very exhausting, and I wonder if it's the same way for the guys. I'm constantly trying to find the appropriate attire, figure out what's acceptable conversation and what isn't, what would make me seem a crazy cat lady and what wouldn't... and then, when it all goes wrong, start second-guessing myself to try to figure out what I did to bomb it this time.
Of course, hindsight usually shows me that I wasn't nearly as into the guy as I thought I was, and that if he hadn't ended things, I likely would have somewhere down the line... but it still seems a bit of a blow to the ego at first.
In the meantime, I spend a lot of time hanging out with friends, my cats, my craft projects, and working out at the gym. If it weren't for my work situation being so up in the air, I'd be at least moderately happy right now. As it stands, I wind up thinking inappropriate thoughts about my friends -- like what that guy with the incredibly strong hands could achieve if those hands were doing something differently than massaging my back (which is also greatly appreciated), or what it would be like to just kiss that other guy... and these are guys to whom I'm not attracted, have no interest in sleeping with, and don't want to date. And I'm not even *horny*, I'm just thinking this way, and it makes no sense.
Then I start getting all nostalgic about my exes. I saw an ex- of mine on a vacation trip to Toronto, and I was thinking about some of the good (and bad) times he and I have had together. There seem to be 3 default exes I think about when I start feeling lonely/nostalgic, and it's frustrating.
Anyhow, now I'm rambling, and all of this was just to put some ovaries on the page and pooh-pooh the whole 'dating' thing for a bit. Maybe if I just go out and do the random sexings for awhile, things will improve.
Except, with my luck, I'll keep getting the guys who are bad in bed, and that'll just make me give up on sex, too. And then where will I be?
comments (22)
There's a sausage fest in your pants
by Eviltom at November 23, 2004 12:17 PM
What an excellent description of dating. One thing though; what about the exciting, exhilerating heart-racing preparation for those first dates? Yes, we agonize over whether to wear the good underwear, but isn't the anxiety fun? A little?
by Linz at November 23, 2004 2:39 PM
Yeah, it is... but then it's depressing when it doesn't pan out again. Although it's fun to get really stupid over a new boy. I just wish I could meet one that's worth keeping around for awhile -- or that sees the wonder that is me and stays around! :)
by Jen X at November 23, 2004 3:36 PM
Hindsight – that’s a funny word. Speaking of hind-sight, I was practicing it today while standing in line and when she turned around I realized that I new her from high school. I was slightly embarrassed and had trouble acknowledging her. It’s amazing how some of the homeliest chicks can have the nicest ass.
by MrBlank at November 23, 2004 5:48 PM
I hear you Mr. B. But what's even worse is to get blamed for ogling when you weren't even doing it, by the non-oglee or your wife. Once a mother with her kid whirled about and berated me at the grocery store. She thought I was copping some hindsight when it really was that we were just buying the same stuff. Really.
Jen, I love the word sexings. It's so makeshift.
by anna at November 23, 2004 6:34 PM
So how do you meet these boys to go to coffee with or whatnot? Snaggle's realizing that just because the percentage of potential boys has increased a thousandfold, actually meeting some is hard.
by snaggle at November 23, 2004 10:58 PM
Where's your blog. You might like mine. It's all about 'dating'.
Snaggle? Are you good looking? Seriously?
I am.
In NYC Gay men hit on me every where. Either that, or they just stare at me, and it's annoying. SO I KNOW how ladies feel when men gawk. I THINK? Or do they LOVE it? When gay men look at me, sometimes I appreciate the gesture, but do they want to admire my looks, or just fuck me?
EURO hits 1.3150+
JEN X, You're Hot. Lockheed loves red hair. Elegant.
by LOCKHEED at November 24, 2004 6:58 AM
Uh oh... can you handle that the red hair is fake and the picture's old?
My blog's linked through my name -- http://ichaseboys.com.
by Jen at November 24, 2004 7:47 AM
Snaggle that is a perennial problem and a perplexing one. In junior college I lived in a tiny town. The school only had 3,000 students. I met gals galore. At the bigger school/town with 20,000 students, nada. I think its the forced anonymity of bigger towns.
by anna at November 24, 2004 7:50 AM
I'm so confused. I thought your site was Whore's Boudiour or however that is spelled. Is that another Jen or Jen X or... what? BTW, my site is linked like that too.
by anna at November 24, 2004 12:41 PM
I need cocaine. Now. I'll pay double the price later. Just need it now.
Darn. Alexander the movie is getting horrible reviews. Figures.
I need cocaine. Now.
by LOCKHEED at November 24, 2004 2:35 PM
Well, both the sites are mine, and I'm the same Jen/Jen X.
by Jen at November 25, 2004 7:33 AM
At the backpacker beach place I'm working at in Nicaragua, it's the random sexer's heaven and a monogamist's worst nightmare. No one stays here for longer than 3 or 4 days, and most of the locals are a bit on the sleazy side but are hot surfers.
As for sausage fests, I went to a party at the local surfshop last weekend, and me and the 2 girls I was with were the first bits of estrogen to enter through the door that night. There were excited murmurs of "chicas! chicas!" throughout the place. More chicas arrived later on, but the male to female ratio was about 5 to 1. Snaggle, I think you should come down here.
by Leaffin at November 25, 2004 12:15 PM
Don't leave us hanging. How did the evening end?
by anna at November 26, 2004 9:32 AM
Ended drunk, on the beach, and fooling around with a one of the few non-Nica surfers at the party. New Zealand was added to my snog list. Prior to my encounter with the kiwi, I *think* there was some smooching on the dancefloor with a Nica surfer. And somewhere in there a few of us were drunkenly wandering around town trying unsuccessfully to score some coke.
And if you think that this was a crazy night, you should hear my stories about Colombia.
by Leaffin at November 26, 2004 10:42 AM
Do tell.
by anna at November 26, 2004 12:22 PM
Thank you Jen. It's nice to know I can be of service. I'm planning on coming on to Lockheed, on his site, soon, then Anna. Anna and I live close enough for some skin on skin though. How 'bout it Anna?
by Ezy at November 28, 2004 2:43 PM
I'm bent over the hotel room chair like Kobe's fling. Take me.
by anna at November 28, 2004 5:25 PM
You're not going to cry rape after the fact, are you? I wouldn't want to have to go through what Kobe did and jeapordize my NBA career.
by Ezy at November 29, 2004 10:46 AM
Ezy, you can be of any service you can think up. Of course, if you're just moving from blogger to blogger, I'm going to feel less special and think of you as more of a whore. But I don't think you'd mind.
Btw, if you and Anna do get it on, can I work the camera (not a euphemism)?
by Jen X at November 29, 2004 10:55 AM
You'll always be my special blogger Jen. You write porn. Nuff said.
That sounds great Jen. I have a very, very imaginitive side. And you can work the camera too.
by Ezy at November 29, 2004 1:27 PM
Speaking of Kobe, I have a theory. I think the sex was more or less consensual. But the girl didn't like it, what with the bending over the chair and all. Then he compounded the problem by disrespecting her, maybe telling her to get the F out, I'm done with you B or something. Hence the rape charges. Why else would she go through all she did only to bag it on the eve of trial? Chuck?
by anna at November 30, 2004 7:42 AM