« When logic and proportion have fallen | Main | What an asshole »

mg

can't write a letter, can't send a postcard, i can't write nothing at all

by mg at 07:38 AM on October 26, 2004

Have you heard the latest radio ads featuring Howard Dean? Instead of his infamous Yeeha! he is now hawking Yahoo! It is brilliant, having Dean be the pitchman for Yahoo’s new “Local” search. Looking for bookstores in IOWA? Want to relax in CALIFORNIA? Explore museums in OHIO? If Dean had been able to handle the screaming incident with this much humor eight months ago, maybe he’d be the one running against Bush instead of that talking head Kerry.

That giant talking head, Kerry. That makes-Conan-O’Brien-and-Sarah-Jessica-Parker-look-like-they’ve-got-normal-sized-heads John Kerry. Obviously, there can’t be a God because no “intelligent design” would have allowed for a person to exist with such a giant noggin.

I won’t hearken back to too many things from the debate, but I did want to agree with Kerry on one thing; invading Iraq after 9/11 would have been like invading France after Pearl Harbor.

Oh, wait that is what happened, wasn’t it?

People seem to forget that terrorism isn’t a place or a person. It is nameless, faceless thing that haunts our every waking moment. Terrorism is the Sword of Damocles hanging over our heads ready to wreak disaster at any moment. Or, at least that is what the republicans would have us believe until after the election, at which point the whole war on terror will nicely wrap up during the final years of Bush’s second term.

In other political news, if Houston had won the National League Championship Series, the World Series would have pitted teams from the two states that the presidential candidates hail. But, since St. Louis won, the World Series doesn’t mean anything. Which is the way it should be because this is, after all, just a game of baseball.

Though, I do believe in this whole curse thing. I can easily imagine the Sox going up 3-0 in the series and then managing the same kind of colossal collapse as the Yankees had to get Boston there in the first place. Either that, or half the team dies in fiery plane crash and they have to get Yaz out retirement to play left field and dig Ted Williams’ corpse up and stick a Louisville Slugger in his lifeless hands to bat cleanup. Of course, he would only be able to bunt.

I really hope the Sox win, they, and their fans deserve it. On the other hand, I hope they lose. The whole “Curse of Bambino” is exactly the kind of weird story that makes baseball what it is. If the Red Sox finally win one, it’ll be both a great day and awful day for the sport. Because baseball, like this website, is all about the story.

The Red Sox winning would damage baseball like this site would hurt if I finally had to grow up and stop being so immature, or if Snaggle finally graduated college, or if Linz finally settled down with one man.

Oh, crap.

comments (6)

You don't have to exhume Williams. He is hanging upside down on a meathook in Arizona, cryogenically frozen.

by anna at October 26, 2004 7:42 AM


HA!

Kerry does have a big head... but if we must have a disproportionate head, I'd prefer a big head to a small head; bigger brains.

I don't know if you growing up has coincided with maturity yet... all's not lost mg!

by Linz at October 26, 2004 8:41 AM


In addition to her annoying Brooklyn accent Fran Drescher has an oversized noggin. But it's nothing compared with this guy. Word has it his mom birthed him anally. Ouch!

by anna at October 26, 2004 6:06 PM


HEY! I just have to write a couple papers to graduate.... it's not nearly so unlikely as you growing up or Linz settling down. And don't worry, me settling down would be the ultimate hurt for the site... we might as well shut down were that ever to happen.

by snaggle at October 26, 2004 11:13 PM


It just cracks me up when I see a Pitcher from the AL up to bat or actually on base. Although I'm a Yankees fan, I was still concerned for Pedro when he was on first base, like he's fragile or something. Anyways, yeah, MG ever growing up, there's a better chance that he'll eventually stop bitching.

by LOCKHEED at October 27, 2004 1:02 AM


Help me please MG. Please see http://puddleofmuddle.typepad.com/puddle_of_muddle/ and tell me what I need to do to make this look like some semblance of a real site. Aargh. New email please.

by anna at October 27, 2004 8:30 PM