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What can I say?
by anna at 07:53 AM on August 11, 2004
I love my son dearly, like, well, a son. But he does have this unfortunate tendency to make off-the-cuff remarks to which there is no ready rejoinder. Thus they just hang there in the air like a lingering fart. We've talked about it and he is getting better though.
It's like some posts you read. They are brilliant, erudite and all of that. But you can't for the life of you think of anything to add in the comments. I've found this to be the case when I've shared intensely personal stuff from my past. And that's why I rarely do that anymore.
The local paper once ran a contest wherein readers sent in conversation-ending, rejoinder-less, room-clearing remarks such as those of my son's. I believe the winner was: "Well, I've got to go feed my hostages."
Once, after some automotive intimacy, a girl said to me: "That tasted terrible." I mean, what can you say to that? Let's here some of these from your archives. Don't be shy. It can't be worse than that.
comments (10)
Good medicine is always a little hard to swallow. It's an acquired taste, something to look forward to.
I think a good comedian is capable of responding to anything - comedy tends to be the magic antedote to those kinds of remarks, or at least replaces a dead end with a bend in the road.
by chris at August 11, 2004 12:05 PM
In second grade a little boy on my soccer team said, "Are you a girl or a boy?" Although there is an answer, sheesh! What do you say? Chris, you might say I am not 100% female... hmmm. Maybe that's why I like porn and scratching myself!
I know there have been more recent ones. I'll try to conjure them up.
by Linz at August 11, 2004 1:05 PM
Today a guy friend made a comment about a coach of a college team and his inability to be good at his job. "If we were Indians we'd name you Broken Condom."
by Anna (a different one) at August 11, 2004 1:24 PM
Once, in my early years, I hooked up with an "older", read I'm in 8th grade she 11th, drunk sexually forward girl at a field party. I gave it my all and after everything was over she looked at me and said "Well, that wasn't very good huh?". What could I say? It wasn't good. I sucked at sex then. I got up, slinked away, got drunk and tried to forget. That was a tough one.
by Ezy at August 11, 2004 5:22 PM
I love all of those and look forward to more from Linz. Hi new Anna! Ezy, only you. You're scoring with an older chick in the 8th grade, all the way no less. And all you can do is brood about it and get drunk. In the 8th grade. Tee-hee. That's classic, man.
Once I was complaining to a rich friend about how I'd bounced some checks. He proved that all the rich aren't necessarily samrt with this remark: Why didn't you just put more money in that account?
by anna at August 11, 2004 6:06 PM
I bank with Washington Mutual. When I lived in Spokane, I frequented a branch on the north side and was consistently helped by the same teller who was pretty laid back, and, as it turns out, sold drugs to one of my other friends who banked at the same location.
One day, I got a bank statement that indicated that I had bounced many, many purchases in a period of about seven days, and that I owed the bank several hundred dollars in overdraft fees. That wasn't right, so I went in to my usual brach to clear up the confusion and was helped by my usual tellar. The first thing a bank tellar does is ask for your account number, so he had my account pulled up before I had a chance to explain that the bank was in error. He took a look at my account and said -- right in the middle of the bank, with other tellars standing nearby -- "Wow, you are fucked!" Needless to say, I, along with each of the other bank employees, was nonplussed.
Luckily, like I said, the bank was in error and we got everything fixed in an hour or so. Interestingly, that same tellar worked there at least until I moved. Apparently, swearing at the customers and mocking their financial status isn't a firable offense at Wamu. Good thing stuff like that doens't bother me.
by Mike Sheffler at August 11, 2004 8:11 PM
I used to carry several candies in my winter coat, mostly left over from restaurant candy given to me with my bill.
One day I was wearing the coat and walking along with a girl out on a first date. I noticed I had a couple candies, offered her one and ate one myself.
She asked me why I had candy in my coat pocket. I replied, "I use them to lure small children."
I thought it was funny, she did not, apparently I became some sort of weirdo in her eyes at that moment. The date ended shortly therafter, and there was no second date.
by chuck woolery at August 12, 2004 12:26 AM
ROFL!! You guys are hilarious. Props for making me laugh at 2 in the morning =) Unfortunately, I have nothing worthwhile to add because my brain is fried and it's just too late to think. But I will say that you've got an awesome site. Keep it coming!
by mila at August 12, 2004 2:18 AM
Well I guess we have our moments Mila. Agreed about the time.
Chuck I think that should have been a killer line. Some people have no sense of humor.
Mike I went through the same thing during my latest check bouncing ordeal. They'd peer at the screen and ask me what they could do for me in a tone that implied there was nothing that could be done.
And then there's... this.
by anna at August 12, 2004 3:37 AM
OK Chris now I get it at 3:39 AM: good medicine is hard to swallow. heh-heh.
by anna at August 12, 2004 3:40 AM