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I'm not ready for this sort of thing
by anna at 09:43 AM on August 15, 2004
I'm eating my lunch at Boston Market. The place is small and crowded. A line snakes halfway around it. Patrons are cranky and touching one another and not in a good way. A sleak BMW oozes up. From it emerges a woman who looks like the embodiment of Barbie; swiveling in that hyper-girly way popularized by Marilyn Monroe. I don't find her look in the least bit attractive. It's too much information, like a bad acid trip. Others would evidently beg to differ.
Her hair is tinted with streaks of honey blonde as you might see on a hair dye box. She's wearing a considerable amount of makeup, seemingly pricy, but not distasteful. She is what I call girl-chubby, fat in some fashionable girl's eyes but fine to most guys. Maybe 5'7" 130 lbs. She's sporting spiked heels, but nothing garish. Well, there was the slit animal print dress and lots of flashy jewelry (no wedding band.) Her figure was of a type God has yet to produce, almost cartoonish in its dimensions. She strolls in engrossed in several cell phone conversations at once. All eyes are upon her.
She's slathered in perfume. Her tan is even, salon even. She's peering out over Wayfarers perched upon her surgical nose. The slightest push would send her top-heavy ass reeling to the ground.
The already uncomfortable temp rose perceptibly. Guys threw down their newspapers to stare at her intently and openly. Just as overtly, women glared at her like some kind of criminal. The guy behind the counter keeps fumbling her order. She takes it in stride. Some other guy in line tries to strike up a conversation with some lame remark like, "I see you got the white meat quarter chicken. I usually get that but today I went with the meat loaf. Something different." She says, "I always get the chicken. I'm watching my figure." Trust me, she's not the only one. His eyes are glued to her chest the entire time. You could feel his pain. And you got the feeling he felt compelled to blurt something, anything, out to her.
A lot of good that did. She gets her order to go and hurries away. I surmised that this was of necessity. Nothing like trying to eat a quarter chicken daintily with dozens of eyes on you. Then it occured to me: This person is being deprived of her basic rights based on her looks alone.
Why were the usual rules of ogling conduct (a quick, discreet once-over at most) suspended? Why all the cold and catty glares from the gals? I concluded that when you sculpt yourself into some kind of exagerated fem-bot, enriching plastic surgeons, stylists, tanning salons and jewelers in the process, people consider you fair game. It may not be fair but that's the way it is. Oddly she didn't really seem to mind, or even notice. Go figure.
These meticulously groomed and sculpted women are never married or even visibly attached. Maybe guys don't consider them marriage material. Maybe they don't want to be tied down. Or maybe once they do wed they stop paying such slavish attention to every detail of their appearance. I dunno. Do you?
comments (9)
She didn't seem to mind? I bet it it's what she works for, what she lives for. She thrives on turning heads, those of drooling men, those of scornful women. The power of other people's attention is seductive enough for many people (like the woman you describe) to shape their lives around. As to why they are unattached - I think it's because they don't want to be attached, or they can't form lasting attachments. A lot of men, while initially attracted, if I'm imagining the kind of person you describe correctly, have been burned by the high maintenance nature of those so consumed with appearance. Alternatively once they make an intimate connection, they realize that someone so obsessed with superficiality spends a lot of time obsessed with superficiality. What fun is that? I'm not a fan of the "shallow people" dismissal, as I think everyone is deep, however I think some people (i.e. the woman you describe) seem to spend all their effort treading water at the surface.
by chris at August 15, 2004 12:45 PM
Chris I'm not so sure everyone is deep. I neglected to mention that this chick actually laughed at the guy's lame overture. It was that head-tilted, obviously practiced laugh designed to draw still more attention to herself. Very strange.
by anna at August 16, 2004 7:48 AM
As someone who is 5'2" and 120 pounds I find myself, as always, unimpressed with the male estimates of "fat." 130 pounds on a 5'7" frame might be viewed as fat by some? Anyway, Anna, I know it's just because you're a dude (or else I'm larger than I think I am).
I'll be honest, and try to leave my bristling cattiness behind for a second (hmmm). When I see women like that and am nice to them, they are sometimes, like, shocked. If you're nice to them at a bar and they're drunk and you're in the ladies room, they might just (does this sound like it's going somewhere naughty?) be your best friend for a minute. Women like that think that all women are out to get them. So if a normal-looking woman like myself isn't resentful they are surprised.
OR they are super bitches. Some of them really are just as empty as they look.
When I've seen women like that attached, they are attached to men who remind you of Keanu Reeve's character in Sweet November. Also beautiful and empty. Chris is right. They are really high maintenance, and the very things that make them look so good get very old if you have to live with it all the time.
I instantly dismiss people like that as, for me, unbefriendable, because I cannot respect wasting so much precious time on your appearance. You know those books that say you spend 7 years of your life on the shitter? Why spend another 7 years grooming? Why not, like, live?
by Linz at August 16, 2004 10:37 AM
No I don't think either of you should be considered fat. All I was saying is that those waif-thin fashionistas might consider this girl a tad plump.
And I haven't seen that movie. But I assume the role is pretty much the airhead that Reeve usually plays.
I guess there are women's women just like there are men's men. I've always hated men's men with all their talk about engines and such.
by anna at August 16, 2004 6:21 PM
I agree with Linz. There are some women who live only for male approval. They're not necessarily uneducated... some will get MBAs and high-powered jobs just so they can have the best, the wealthiest, and most powerful approval-giver they can. For them, other women are just road kill on the way to the Promised Land. I worked with one once, and it was like she could not bring herself to be friends with her female co-workers. She always had a look on her face when she was talking to us, like she was being threatened with a hot poker. I guess that's what we were to her. But if you were a guy, she would bring you your coffee and come in early all week to finish writing your next three budget reports for you.
by jean at August 16, 2004 11:40 PM
Not to defend men (okay I am defending men kind of), but I remember reading Bridget Jones Diary and her considering herself overweight at similar tonnage.
by mg at August 17, 2004 7:54 PM
You read that? I thought it was just a chick flick. And I don't like that actress for the same reason I don't like Arnold: I can't spell their names.
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by purple clown at June 23, 2005 6:41 AM
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