« I was gambling in Havana, yeah I took a little risk | Main | It's like rain on your wedding day »
and we're gonna stay together for a million years....
by mg at 10:18 AM on August 19, 2004
...continued from the other day.
So, despite the fact that we were already married, and despite the fact we have a two-month old child, we decided to have a “wedding.”
I wasn’t down with the idea from the beginning. For one thing, we’d have our two-month old child with us. Nothing might spoil a wedding atmosphere, especially when marrying into a very religious family, that an out-of-wedlock conceived child. Plus, children and weddings are very expensive. And if I had to pick one, I think I’d prefer to keep the kid in diapers than cater dinner for a hundred.
But even more than those really logical reasons, is the purely emotional response I get whenever I think about being the center of attention. It makes me uncomfortable thinking about it even now. I hate being the center of attention. I don’t like giving presentations in classroom, and you expect me to profess my love in front of a room full of people? I also don’t like throwing parties. I’ve thrown maybe two parties in my entire life, and in both cases I freaked out the entire time that either no one would come, or no one would have fun. And you want me to hire caterers, florists and invite a hundred of my closest friends and family, the whole disaster to be documented by a professional photographer?
But, the wife.
She is a woman, you know?
And women dream about weddings in the womb. I’m sure, from the moment their male genitalia fail to develop, in-utero, they begin to think about what their wedding dress will look like, what flowers they’ll put in their bouquet, and all that other stuff no guy who’d actually want to marry a woman would ever think twice about.
So, as much as I didn’t want to have the damn thing, I know she did. And I love her. If I can’t marry my wife, just to make her happy, then what kind of a husband am I?
This wedding we began planning last winter, which seemed so far away then, began rapidly approaching the last couple weeks. Rapidly approaching like the grill of a Mack truck. Rapidly approaching like a guided missile at one of the Hussein boy’s mansion.
It got to be pretty stressful between the wife and I. At one point, she was ready to cancel the whole thing. I wanted to laugh and say, “And then what, get in your time machine and not get married the first time?” Luckily, I thought better of it, and eventually we worked things out.
The day before the big day arrived, and man was I nervous. People kept saying “Why are you nervous, you are already married?” I wanted to laugh and say, “Try telling that to the death row inmate – 'Why are you worried about getting electrocuted to death, you already have brain cancer?'” Luckily, I thought better of it. I also thought better of my idea to skip out on the wedding, remember that I don’t have a time machine either.
And then, the day of the wedding, and all the nervousness faded away. We had so much family and and so many friends around. I saw my beautiful wife in her beautiful wedding dress (which was designed and hand-made by her mom) for the first time. This was good. I began to get “it.”
Suddenly the wedding part was over and it was time for the party. I quickly got a few drinks in me. I sat at the “bad” table with Snaggle, Jerry and Jamila, Suja and her new hubby, and Julia (all of whom have garnered mention here in the pages of BadSam, in one way or another). Of course, I also mingled throughout the reception hall like I’ve never mingled before (and never hope to again).
I danced. My family danced. Amanda’s family doesn’t dance, apparently, but finally even the booty-shaking beats of Outkast’s Hey Ya got her grandfather out on the floor, which was about the coolest thing I’ve seen in a while.
The baby got passed around the hall, from table to table, from loving hands to loving hands.
This was good. I got it.
Now, I can’t wait for my next wedding.
comments (7)
Glad you had a good time after all! So, how is Jamila? I thought she was around Columbia. I bet she graduated. People always leave once they graduate. >:( How's Snaggle? I haven't heard from him in a while either. Has he moved? Does he have a job? Does he need a roommate? I didn't graduate, but I'm ready to get outta' Dodge.
by MrBlank at August 19, 2004 1:37 PM
Weddings are such a whirlwind. It's so bizarre having, like, EVERYONE you care about in one spot. I just know this from Shannon's wedding with "Joseph." It was so fun, but it was done in one blink.
by Linz at August 19, 2004 3:33 PM
Jamila worked at the Uni., she wasn't a student. Once her employment ended, well, there wasn't much else to do in Columbia. Snaggle did graduate, and he should be moving out to LA any day now.
Linz - you are right about weddings. COnsidering how much planning went in to it, the damn thing sure seemed to be over in a flash. That had to have been one of the shortest days of my life, only behind the 40 hours of labor which - to me - seemed to be over in at least half that ammount of time.
by mg at August 19, 2004 3:48 PM
Hey MG,
You throw a pretty good wedding I must say. I will definitely go to the next one, but only if I can sit at the "bad" table again. It was nice to see your family and friends giving you and Amanda and baby so much attention. I think you deserved it.
P.S. Tell Amanda and Julia Great cookies!!
by Jamila at August 19, 2004 5:33 PM
Glad you had such a good time. Funny how little we know about you after all this time. Downing drinks quickly, dancing, mingling and passing the baby around don't seem like things you'd readily do.
by anna at August 19, 2004 6:31 PM
You are right on several counts Anna, I don't normally do those things. I think that was the point.
As for dancing, it has always been something I'll do when drunk enough, but I am just now starting to get old enough that I don't care if I look stupid dancing, so am getting more comfortable with it.
And, having the baby out of my hands - that is tough. Amanda left to take care of details a week before the wedding. I didn't see her and the kid until Friday. But, because all of her family hadn't seen the kid yet, ever, they all wanted to hold her. Over the weekend, I got to spend maybe 20 minutes holding Franny. Everytime I got her, someone would walk up and take her from me. However, with everything else going on the wedding day, she did tend to be out of sight, out of mind. Every once in a while I'd be doing something or talking to someone, and then realize and abruptly say "I have to go find my kid" and then run off to find her. There was actually a point where Amanda and I were sitting together during dinner, a baby started crying (nots ours), and we both looked at each other and thought "Hey, we have a kid. Where the hell is she?"
by mg at August 19, 2004 11:24 PM
Moving the 28th or 29th or 30th, actually.
I'm living with my best friend Jeffy, actually, so sorry, no roommate opportunities MrBlank. Workin' on the job thing... it's a hard thing!!
And I will say, the "bad" table was fun. :D
MG, I'm sure AB won't second you on the 40 hours seeming like half that. At least knowing what I do about childbirth (which is all gleaned from the fact that mothers find they can hold that over children's heads during their whole life.)
and all that other stuff no guy who’d actually want to marry a woman would ever think twice about.
Nice... I was about to say "Now wait a minute..." but I guess you anticipated it.
When's the next wedding?
by snaggle at August 19, 2004 11:53 PM