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I coulda been a contender, I coulda been somebody
by anna at 08:47 AM on July 31, 2004
He called me a liar and a rapist. I'm not a liar. -Mike Tyson, responding to a reporter's column about him
Last night Tyson got folded by a British nobody in the 4th round. The Brit landed sixteen straight shots and put a final coda on Tyson's sad yet storied saga. Having squandered $400 million on cheap talk and wine, he now finds himself untold millions in debt to hundreds of creditors, none of whom will ever see a dime. Lacking any other skills and with his name forever sullied, Iron Mike is destined to live out his life in a miserable, destitute state.
Let's not dwell too much on the (trumped-up???) rape charge that sent him to prison in the prime of his career. Let's not even bring up him gnawing off Evander Holyfield's earlobe or breaking some other guy's arm in the ring. Ditto for his fake suicide driving his Bentley into a tree, attacking an elderly gent after a fender bender or throwing a TV out the window after prison guards refused him his Zoloft dosage.
Forget the way that every time he's faced a semi-worthy opponent in recent memory he's been bitch-slapped silly. Forget his oddly timid, high-pitched voice and that time he was caught on tape promising to make some other man his girlfriend. Same goes for that time he went off on a reporter, unleashing a stream of obscenities that seemed funny at the time but now seems ironic and pitiful. "I'll fuck you till you love me," he told the guy.
Mike Tyson used to be my hero. Despite the fact I'm no boxing fan, I like many other was simply captivated by this guy. He came out of nowhere to rise to the pinnacle of his chosen vocation. But the thing for me was how he did it. He'd show up at a fight with little or no fanfare or entourage (this was in his early days.) No fancy embroidered robe, no hotty on either arm, not even socks. He'd just have unadorned gym trunks and tennis shoes on.
With an icy glare, he'd jump up and down in his corner as the endless announcements droned on. He seemed on edge, anxious to get on with the business at hand; as if he had a pressing engagement afterwards. He paid no mind to the leggy, barely clad girls who tote those signs around perched upon suicide heels. Nor did he care what the ref had to say. His strategy was pure offense, no defense. (I've patterned my chess style after that. Unfortunately at 14, Ian is starting to figure it out.)
To see his overmatched opponents prior to the 1-3 rounds of intense punishment they were about to absorb was to behold primal, unmitigated horror. It's great to garner a decent payday, I suppose, but it does no good if you're no longer alive to collect it. And given the quickness, singular sense of purpose and utter ferocity of Tyson in his prime, sudden death always seemed a very real possibility. Morbidly curious, millions tuned in for pay-per-view, forking over exorbidant fees for what usually amounted to no more than a few minutes of one-sided brutality. You got the feeling that unlike Boom-Boom Mancini, it wouldn't bother him if he beat some guy to death.
Then he got knocked out by a flabby tomato can in Japan. Thus began a horrifying descent into madness, misery and increasingly bizarre antics designed to avert attention from the fact that A) He sucks as a boxer. B) He is dumb as a rock. and C) He's broke.
I don't think there is a sadder saga than his in recent American history. Here's to you, Iron Mike. Thanks for nothing.
comments (4)
What I don't understand is why he's so ... bad at boxing now. The years have surely slowed him down a bit, but he dropped off the top really quickly. I don't know much about boxing specifically, but, having competed in many tournaments for karate and kickboxing, I'm suprised that he could fall so quickly. When I (and this seems to be typical) don't train, I get slower and less strong, but it takes a quite a long time to lose good technique. I guess when you're the best, the amount by which your skill and conditioning can slip without sending you down the ranks is a lot smaller, but it still seems strange.
Mike Tyson's Punch Out figuring prominently in my childhood, I've always had a grudging respect for him, despite his many, many problems. A while back I heard that he was doing badly enough that he was bouncing around friends' couches and living in and out of shelters. It's not inappropriate because he was rich, and it's not right because he's a criminal; it's just sad. No one should have to live like that, whether they're Mike Tyson or not.
by Mike Sheffler at August 1, 2004 12:27 AM
This probably sounds naive, as so many celebrities seem to be on drugs, but do you think he's maybe on drugs? And that's why he can't box anymore?
by jean at August 1, 2004 5:39 AM
Jean I think he is on antidepressants. But a while back there was talk of taking him off them to make him less docile. And that is a truly frightening prospect.
Mike it reminds me of a guy who plays in my soccer league. He was by far the best striker with an amazing array of moves. He took a couple seasons off to coach his daughter's team. By the time he returned a lot of the younger players didn't know his rep. So the intimidation factor wasn't there, like when Michael Jordan returned to the NBA. Tyson's opponent said as much: "The intimidation factor is gone."
by anna at August 1, 2004 8:45 AM
As someone who loves boxing and has followed Mike Tyson's career since he was a nobody knocking people out on ESPN's Top Ranked Boxing, I believe that boxers have just figured him out. When Kevin Rooney took him into his home, trained him, and treated him like a son it gave Tyson a reason to fight hard so he didn't disappoint Rooney. After he lost Rooney and hooked up with that vampire Don King it was the beginning of the end for Tyson. It seems like he has no heart anymore. He can't fight through adversity. I have seen every Tyson fight and the thing that always stood out is if someone came to fight him and survived the first three rounds Tyson starts to lose confidence and throws desperation shots looking for the one punch knockout. This leaves him totally open to someone who could place good punches and put together combinations ie. Buster Douglas, Holyfield, Lewis, Williams etc. Tyson has never been a boxer, if an opponent can survive to later rounds they have a good chance to win. He fought a few matches when he was younger that went into late rounds but he doesn't have the stamina to pull it off anymore. I too have always been a Tyson fan so it's just sad to see him go out like this. He might think of finding another way to pay off that 38mil debt because, for all intents and purposes, his career is over.
by Ezy at August 3, 2004 9:04 AM