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World was on fire and no one could save me but you
by ezy at 10:51 AM on June 23, 2004
A comment by our deviously sneaky, information hording head honcho about the suddenness of my marriage to Amy started me thinking that I should immortalize our reasons for that in words. Here goes.
I was fully prepared to plan and go through a wedding with most or all of the trimmings with Amy. We were talking about it a couple of weeks ago, making lists and such when she turned to me and said “I just don’t want all of this hassle”. I figured out something. She wasn’t the one who wanted a wedding, I did. Then I thought some more and the only reason I wanted one was for her. I wanted the traditional have all the family there, try not to faint from nerves, and pledge yourselves to each other, in front of everyone, wedding for someone who just isn’t into those trappings. That just isn’t like either of us. Amy and I are not your most tradition driven people. We hold some traditional morals and values but, for the most part, are two of the most non-traditional people I know. We don’t walk on the same paths or hold the same beliefs that much of mainstream society does. I could go as far to say that having a full wedding would run counter to everything we are. On another note, it isn’t like we’re in our twenties or anything. I’m thirty-four, she’s thirty-three and we believe what we feel for each other is between us and no one else. Also, between the two of us we have one parent left, my Dad. There just isn’t anyone left to deflect any of the pressure. Factoring all of that in, we had exactly the kind of ceremony we should have.
We had a marriage celebrant meet us in Great Falls, a huge run of waterfalls near where we live, and vowed ourselves to each other for the rest of our lives. I cried like a little bitch, saying my vows to her, partly out of the enormity of the situation and partly because I never believed I would find a woman as perfect as Amy. I also never believed myself good enough to have someone like that. That’s probably why, in my past relationships, I kept the bar low so I could do the minimum, get away with it, and be able to leave with little or no repercussions. The more I get to know Amy the more I realize I have never really known what love is, until now. Well, I know family love but the love of a partner is another ball game altogether. I have never known happiness like this away from the safety of my family. Amy and I were talking the other night and realized that out of the past year we have spent a grand total of three days away from one other. I was always looking for a way to get away from Stephanie or any other girlfriend I have ever had. Some people see spending this much time together as unhealthy while I think it’s the healthiest process I have ever been through. She is my best friend, confidant, lover among many other things. I tell her everything and never hold back. My boy was over the other night, we were all talking and he was telling a story about some craziness that had happened to him. I asked him if he told his girl and he told me I was nuts. “I could never tell her that” he said. That would never happen with Amy. I tell her everything, even when it’s hard. Why wouldn’t you? We were lying in bed two nights ago just talking and I felt something I haven’t in a long time, innocence. We have both given our innocence back to one another. That, my friends, is a powerful feeling. We both have done enough to shatter that innocence, in our pasts, and to have it back I now realize just how important it is to keep safe. I hope all of you feel this or have felt it at one time or another. This is better than any drug I have ever done, or any adrenaline junkie stunt I have ever pulled. I never have believed in soul mates but I do now. I have finally found mine. I am home.
comments (10)
Well it goes w/o saying that that is beautiful. But I find it interesting that y'all even entertained the idea of the full-blown wedding. Although we did it, I still consider weddings, holidays and such the single biggest waste of financial and more importantly, emotional capital that exists. I wonder how many wonderful relationships have gone sour fighting over table arrangements, guest lists and so on. Bully for you Rob and Amy.
by anna at June 23, 2004 7:54 PM
Ezy, that is just so beautiful! I'm getting choked up. Complete trust is so rare, and that you and Amy have found it in each other says the world about you two as people. I'm so glad for you guys! Congratulations!!
by jean at June 23, 2004 11:55 PM
I predict a baby. A tall, lanky baby. A white baby. Unlike on Nip Tuck, where two tragically white characters somehow produced a black baby. Does anyone know how this occured? Was he adopted or is this some odd plot artifice?
by anna at June 24, 2004 8:03 AM
Jean, Anna thank you guys. The only reason we entertained the thought of a full blown wedding is because of me. I felt like I was getting off easy but came to realize that Amy and I vowing ourselves to one another is what matters, not the dog & pony show. Complete trust is a bastard to give in a normal situation but with what Amy and I have been through with past relationships it's nothing short of miraculous. For some reason I have never doubted her. Myself, now that's another story.
We've also talked about having a child and we just don't want to do it in this area. It's hard enough to raise a child right and there are too many bad outside influences here for my liking. Public schools suck and there's no real sense of community. We're planning on moving back to where I grew up within the next couple years and do it there, if we decide to do it at all. We'll also have family there to spoil our demon.
by Ezy at June 24, 2004 9:20 AM
A "tall, lanky baby" Anna?? Hee heehee...
CONGRATULATIONS EZY!!!!!!!!! = ) I am so fucking thrilled to read this, and not just because I have recently become a goo-goo eyed super-in-love type.
That sounds beautiful. I'm with Jean in the choked-up ranks.
Now.
PICTURES.
by Linz at June 24, 2004 9:47 AM
Thank you Linz, so much. I'll send out some pics as soon as I have them scanned. I should just make Walmart do it for me which, now that I think about it, I will. We talked about setting up a website with all of the pics on them but decided that that isn't us either.
The poor child will be tall, lanky probably won't be used to describe them though. I sure hope he/she gets their Mom's looks.
by Ezy at June 24, 2004 10:55 AM
Muchas Felicidades Ezy! I wish you guys all the best in the world :-)
by Lucy at June 24, 2004 8:35 PM
Gracias Lucy. I couldn't be happier. She's the best woman I have ever known. I can't believe she married a lug like me. Go figure.
by Ezy at June 25, 2004 9:56 AM
First we have mg's wedding, then his bebe, then an account of your wedding... sheesh. I'm getting more bitter and jealous by the minute.
by snaggle at June 29, 2004 12:35 PM
Well Snaggle, you were my first choice but you live so damned far away. I had to settle, sorry man ;-)
by Ezy at June 29, 2004 1:49 PM