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Had to give us something to go and slip into our coffees
by anna at 06:55 PM on June 04, 2004
The occasion was Whore Hey and Cum Meal's wedding anniversary. Whore spared no expense in planning their hoity-toity, beach-themed soiree. Actual champagne from Champagne flowed like keg beer. Guests were given plastic flutes with color-coded ribbons so they wouldn't get them mixed up. A troupe of mimes flitted about like squirrels in a tree. Tuxedoed waiters offered trays of finger food. A snide string quartet played in the background, their disdain for us palpable. They made Whore pay in advance. The noveau riche, don't you know. Can't trust 'em. Just ask Tony Soprano.
Oh sure, stimulants were on hand and ingested by the eight ball. But at Whore's behest, only discretely behind closed doors. Both sets of their parents were there, after all. This was a major departure for our crowd and I must say it made for a much more pleasant party experience.
One of his Florida buddies must have missed that admonition. I'm standing there in the living room sipping from my color-coded plastic flute and nibbling on a Swedish meat ball. I'm alone in the swirling crowd, as blank-faced as the picture above. In saunters this guy with his stranger to the sun GF. They sit on the couch and produce what appears to be a shaving kit. In it is a belt, a lighter, a spoon and a formidable looking syringe.
Oblivious to their elegant surroundings and the horror etched across all faces, they proceed to go through this elaborate shooting-up ritual. As he plunges the drug into his veins, a mime stands behind him with his hands on the sides of his face and a look of mock shock on his face. Another imitates the motion of shooting up. The sedate music stops abruptly as a beach wrap-clad Cum Meal comes storming in visibly irate. They're both starting to nod off and the mimes continue to mimic them, making pillows with their hands. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? THIS IS MY FREAKING WEDDING ANNIVERSARY FOR CHRIST'S SAKE," Cum bellows in her Long Eye Land accent.
This was the most incongruous scene I have ever witnessed. Oh wait, that was somebody else. Never mind. Let's hear about the most surreal things you've viewed instead. There's no law against commenting on weekends, you know. Surely there's...something.
comments (7)
Fucking mimes. They ruin everything.
by MrBlank at June 7, 2004 3:54 PM
Yeah they do. Original title of post: If a tree falls in a forest and strikes a mime, killing him, does anyone care?
by anna at June 7, 2004 5:48 PM
You've got a thing for puns Anna Nimez. A bad thing.
by mg at June 8, 2004 1:46 PM
Agreed. But you know way too much about me Michael.
by anna at June 8, 2004 7:13 PM
I don't know if that story can be topped. It is not just the drugs. It is also the mimes.
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