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Subtle Flava
by effenheimer at 04:35 PM on January 15, 2004
Been gone some time, no offense to all present, but I got a bit wrapped up in me own life fer a bit. What with congestive heart failure and the new diet and taking about 9 or 10 pills a day for depression, the heart, the diabetes and now apparently I have an iron deficiency. My doctor wants me to wipe crap on a card three times in a row and give it to him. This is to see if I'm shitting enough blood to account for the massive iron loss. I think my doctor has Munchausen by Proxy. Either that or the government magnets are finally depleting my blood of its precious iron. Oh and I've got bronchitis too. Plus I am surrounded by massive tools all day.
I haven't shaken salt on anything since the middle of November, which is the least of my concerns because come to find out, I don't really care about that as much as I thought. Sure, I'd like to dig into a trough full of cottage cheese some time or order a pizza. But this salt restriction is about the only thing keeping me honest. I eat a lot of chicken spiced to the hilt but minus all salt. It's amazing what kind of difference salt makes in everything. Luckily, Chef Paul Prudhomme invented this Magic Salt-Free Seasoning that rocks hard-core.
The entire experience has been one I can only compare to turning down the volume in your mouth. It's like when you watch TV real loud, you don't even notice how loud it is until a commercial comes on and then you think, "Damn, that was loud." So you turn it down just to make your mom proud and you realize you are much more comfortable watching TV at a lower volume anyway instead of getting blown out the back of your La-Z-Boy.
Except that in your mouth, you begin to appreciate the subtleties of flavor. I found myself munching on Romaine lettuce the other night. No dressing. No salt. Thinking, wow, this lettuce rocks. Deprivation of one kind always seems to lead to opening the lesser used senses.
Still, I'd fuckin' murder a plate of nachos about now.
comments (11)
Hey, Eff. I've heard that when one quits smoking it is a similar experience. Even mundane foods take on a great flavor. Unfortunately you also smell a lot of bad things you didn't notice before.
by anna at January 15, 2004 5:52 PM
that's like when you quit smoking. suddenly everything has taste.
though i could see this lack of taste in a positive light if i was the type of person who hated the subtle flavors of oral copluation.
by lajo at January 15, 2004 7:12 PM
ummm, copulation.
oh and welcome back. we missed you.
by lajo at January 15, 2004 7:14 PM
Dude! Welcome back, and im happy to see one of the true funny men in the world is still breathin. :)
by Jun at January 16, 2004 8:30 AM
Good to see you back Eff. I'm not sure what the hell I would do without salt or if I had to follow other stringent dietary restrictions. I guess if it was eat bacon and die or go without and live I would do what I had to but for someone who loves food like I do it would be like losing a friend. Well, glad to hear you're following the advice and are still kickin'.
Lajo and Anna's cycles have synched ;-)
by Ezy at January 16, 2004 9:25 AM
Eff, I'm glad you've got the will to make the changes you need to... you're gonna end up feeling better than before the fiasco began!
by Linz at January 16, 2004 10:24 AM
Congrats Eff! I have been trying to cut back on salt and lose weight too and it is so hard. I am impressed that you are enjoying Romaine. I've been having salads for lunch everyday for the past two weeks and have to say, I'm a little tired of them & low fat dressing.
by Shannon at January 16, 2004 12:07 PM
Eff, Romaine is good but have you tried Boston lettuce? I think it's a lot less bitter and has a sweeter taste than any other lettuce I've tried. You might give that a shot.
by Ezy at January 16, 2004 12:46 PM
yes, try the boston tea bag. i hear it is less bitter.
ezy will administer.
by lajo at January 16, 2004 2:11 PM
Well, I am a master. I studied for years to perfect my technique.
by Ezy at January 16, 2004 2:16 PM
Tom missed his cue. No salt? Damn, guess that means no more semen for you.
by EvilAnna at January 16, 2004 6:36 PM