i've got a driver and that's a start

by mg at 01:52 PM on January 08, 2004

Apparently it’s 2004.

The year has started off well enough. My Christmas haul was pretty respectable, I didn’t get everything I wanted, but I did get something I didn’t even know I wanted. I realize Christmas was technically last year, but since Jesus may very well have been born in June, who are we to quibble with dates?

Amongst my gifts came some frankincense and myrrh delivered to my door by the three wise men (FedEx, UPS, and the USPS). I’ve so far received presents from MrBlank (Pop Gun War was fantastic), and something from someone I’m ashamed to say I couldn’t recognize by their “real” name. Phil, if you are reading this drop me an email so I can thank you in person. Well, email.

I can tell I’m getting old because I spent New Year’s Eve with family. Family who were in bed around 9:30. And I wasn’t really bothered by that. It wasn’t too many years ago that I’d be out drinking until 2 on an average Wednesday night, much less on New Year’s Eve. Yet, I was very contented to hang out with the family at home. Even still, I did sneak into the bathroom every couple minutes to do shots of mouthwash and rubbing alcohol (since they were the only things in the house a higher proof than some over-ripe potatoes).

After a nice relaxing holiday, we returned back to the city to begin a new year. I flew through Pittsburgh, and had contacted Linz about getting together in the ‘burghs airport, but the timing wasn’t right, so we’ll have to save that introduction for another time (hopefully before the calendar turns over on another year).

Arriving back at Laguardia, I must admit it was good to be home. There were no flight delays, all of my luggage arrived in tact, and it was nearly 60 degrees in January. I called up my usual car service and what to my wondering eyes did I see, but a stretch limousine, to pick up me!

I didn’t go to prom, haven’t been to many funerals, and my love affair with Liza Minelli to cash in on any palimony. So, I’d never ridden in limo before. I’m sure if I’d had an entourage of strippers with me, it’d have been much better, but it was still pretty kick ass rolling around in my white stretch limo. I’m sure it made quite a sight to anyone seeing me pull up to my ghetto apartment building in a limo. All in all, this was a pretty damn cool parading into the New Year in a limo, but that was all about to change.

For one, I was locked out my apartment. In my time away the landlord had replaced the front door. Unfortunately, this move was a bit of a surprise, which is usually the case when someone down something without telling anyone about it. Luckily the super was around, and let me in. Next came the much bigger, colder surprise.

The buildings boiler had broken down on New Year’s Eve, and hadn’t yet been fixed. Apparently it was on the verge of explosion, and if left to its own device, probably would have burned down the entire building. I that regard, I suppose I’d have reason to be much more depressed if I returned home to a smoldering pile of rubble than what I did return to, a living room only a couple degree warmer than the inside of a refrigerator.

The temperature got as low as 50 degrees, which doesn’t’ seem that cold, but let me tell you, when you lube up and your hand freezes to your junk, it’s pretty damn cold. It was three days between when I got home and when the heat got fixed. It is now a nice toasty 72 degrees in here, things are moving nicely, and I can once again say, 2004 isn’t so bad so far.