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We can't even think of a word that rhymes
by mg at 12:19 PM on September 03, 2003
Yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life. In fact, today is also the first day of the rest of my life, which is why that particular cliché doesn’t really seem to make so much sense. What’d be a much more appropriate statement, re: yesterday, is that it was the first day of the new semester (of the rest of my life).
Yesterday began my second semester in grad school, and I’ll finally be taking some classes besides the “we just want to weed out the people who aren’t serious, take your money, and not really teach you one damn useful thing” classes that packed my spring schedule. Not only am I taking classes that might be useful, I’m taking a lot of them. I’m taking four classes this semester, which apparently I’m not supposed to be allowed to do, but I’m so darn cute that even the hardasses in the dean’s office had to let me get my way. Just one of the many perks of being such a damn charming young man.
I’m taking so many classes because I want to get done with school as soon as possible. Unlike many people I’m meeting in school, I’m here not just for something to do “until the economy picks up,” but because I actually want to learn something. I want to get done with school and back into the workforce as soon as possible. The way I see it, the sooner I’m done with school, the sooner I can get back to spending 40 hours a week sending out resumes to jobs I don’t really want, and wont pay me what I deserve, and then still not hear anything back from those potential employers. Because I really miss that.
But, anyway, that is all beside the point. School is really boring (besides for the intellectual stimulation, and I’m all about stimulation). I don’t want to deal with it, why should I force you too? I’m only mentioning school because during my first class last night, there was this one particular student who, in the course of the first half hour of the semester, had managed to turn every single person in class against her.
People like that, rather than being annoying, make me sad. Obviously she doesn’t know how annoying she is, and can’t really help herself from making people squirm like someone had run their fingernails across the chalkboard every time she opens her mouth. This girl, if you can picture it, is a grownup version of Dawn Weiner (from Welcome to the Dollhouse).
I wish I could explain exactly what about her is so annoying, but it’s definitely one of those “had to be there” kinds of things. This is the first class I’ve had with her, but I met her over the summer when, after class one evening I was meeting to work on a group presentation. We’d just about finished and were just chit-chatting at that point, when she walked up and started talking to one of my group mates. As soon as she’d opened her mouth to begin talking, he interrupted and brusquely said “I can’t talk to you right now, we’re working now.” Now, that doesn’t seem very harsh, but I suppose you had to be there. At the time, I thought he’d been very rude as I watched her walk away sadly.
Now, after a few short minutes with her last night, and the dawning realization I’m going to have to spend much of the next 15 weeks with her, I can understand why people in the class were already rolling their eyes and letting loose with big soap-opera sighs every time she raised her hand.
On retrospect, I think maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned this at all. Considering how impatient I am, I’m likely to bludgeon her to death with my $80 textbook one evening. I’m sure I’d get a standing ovation from the rest of the class.
comments (15)
just don't threaten her sexually. if the movie taught us anything, it's how to turn these kind of people on.
man, i miss $80 textbooks.
by lajoie at September 3, 2003 12:43 PM
I think I've had classes with her.
Despite not having gone to school in the U.S.
There's always at least one in every class; that's the depressing part of university. The worry is when there isn't that person -- then it's time to worry if that person is you.
by Jen X at September 3, 2003 12:46 PM
You should take her out on a date MG.
by Ezy at September 3, 2003 2:25 PM
yeah, ignore my previous comment. you should totally have sex with her.
by lajoie at September 3, 2003 3:08 PM
Yeah, you should it in her mouth and yell at her if she tries to come up for air.
by Eviltom at September 3, 2003 4:26 PM
Sounds like she suffers from non-verbal learning disorder like my son. These folks often don't know they are coming across in an annoying way due to their inability to pick up on non-verbal, body language clues like your classmates rolling their eyes en masse. So when you shove her noggin into your lap she won't know what is going on.
by anna at September 3, 2003 5:18 PM
I was stalked by a guy like that for two semesters. I was in the dining hall wearing this Akira t-shirt and this guy comes up asking “Hey, you like an-ah-mae?” I say, “Yeah, it’s OK”. The whole time my friend is kicking me under the table. The guy turns up his hearing aids and throws out some titles and I say, “Yeah, I’ve seen that. It’s pretty good”. Now, my bud is picking up trays and dragging me away. Once we are away, my friend tells me, “Dude, bad move. Now he’s never going to leave you alone”. He was right. That dork was around every corner wanting to watch some an-ah-mae. Since I was an RA in the dorm I had to be nice to him and not tell him to piss off. Of course, he couldn’t read any of my nonverbals to getthefuckawayfromeme. Sad. Being civil and nice can sometimes be a bad idea.
by MrBlank at September 3, 2003 6:36 PM
Mr. Blank, are you implying that he wanted to have sex with you a la Dan Ackroyd in Trading Places?
Eviltom is sleeping on the job. It is "in retrospect."
by anna at September 4, 2003 6:48 AM
Yes, I am sleeping on the job. That's by bag, baby. But even if I weren't a lazy ass, I usually don't correct MG's grammar errors anyway. That guy is beyond help. He can't even get the your/you're thing right. Dumbass.
by Eviltom at September 4, 2003 8:41 AM
*ahem*
that's "my" bag baby.
little slow around here lately eh?
shit, all i need is tom's editor eyes pouring over my responses to uncover the sore truth that i can't even read.
by lajoie at September 4, 2003 7:40 PM
Editor eyes! You don't know how important they are until they're missing. The Redskins-Jets game ended around midnight, but raw, unedited copy about it appeared in today's paper. Syntax was George W. Bush-style mangled. Example: "There's nothing wrong whatsoever with Rod Gardner;" Obviously the "whatsoever" belongs before "wrong." Right, Tom? Right.
Where's Linz? Where's Eff?
by anna at September 5, 2003 7:26 AM
Hmmm...
"There's nothing wrong whatsoever with Rod Gardner."
That looks to be a tricky one. I'm not sure. My gut reaction is that this is a matter of style. If so, I would omit the "whatsoever" part altogether. I mean, the word "nothing" already implies zip, nada, zilch. What purpose does "whatsoever" serve? It seems superfluous.
Otherwise...
If there were a rule about this, then I think Anna would be correct. The "whatsoever" probably modifies "nothing." So as a rule of thumb, keep the modifier as close as possible to the word it's modifying.
by Eviltom at September 5, 2003 6:29 PM
A former best friend of mine suddenly morphed into "one of those" halfway through high school. It was pretty awful. She was universally hated by anyone that had any class with her. One of my other friends developed a hand signal that he would silently wave, sort of like a clenched fist, whenever he was disgusted with her shenanigans. She argued with everyone, but although she was undeniably smart, was sometimes wrong. I caught one of her mistakes once in front of the whole English class, and she started to cry. Scary enough, she's a lawyer now, and married. And MrBlank'll like this... she met her husband in her college anime club.
by jean at September 7, 2003 3:57 AM
I totally just typed something into google and came to this site. I am not supposed to be here. I'm procrastinating; putting off doing homework. Hey if you have an annoying person in your uni class just pretend she isn't there. Like, even when she talks to you. It's cruel and she may kill herself but that's what you want.
by Jack at September 27, 2003 1:01 AM
How is it possible that typing the words.....I really don't want anything for christmas how to tell someone.........brought me to this desolate place? I would like to comment on the obnoxious
pill. Why are YOU considered the ass when you tell one of these fart invested losers to shut the
fuck-up? I have done so and recieved the omg looks. Everyone is thinking it. Why not just say it.
It's a good thing.
by Lanson at December 5, 2003 4:42 PM