« An Ode to Anne Sexton on her Deathday | Main | the world is a cage for your impotent rage, but don't let it get to you. »
She'll steal your face right off your head
by anna at 02:13 PM on September 27, 2003
Lisa: I jumped Todd's bones last night. Me: Really? Why? Lisa: Cuz he asked me to. Me: But you're my gal. Lisa: Well, it's not like we're married or anything. A long, awkward silence ensues. *grasps for something, anything to fill that gaping void* At last: Me: So how was it? Lisa: Not bad at all. He... Me: Oh shut up you whore.
Doncha just hate it when other people are right?
This gut-wrenching tiff took place sitting cross-legged on the floor of a house we shared. It was the beginning of the end of a tempestuous, nine-month relationship that was more of a mutual infatuation than anything resembling romance. We hung no pictures on the walls.
Todd is this shady character who's always lurked on the periphery of my life. Before his incarceration he had gained quite the rep as a ladies' man. More to the point, as my ladies' man. Dating back to age 16 he'd been snagging my exes, often before they were my exes. Yet for some odd reason we've never discussed his creepy propensity for sloppy seconds. Now that he's gone gay it's a moot point.
The tryst with Lisa was a humiliating, miserable affair. She was emotionally needy but at the same time very callous and prone to rash, self-destructive behavior. That song Meet Virginia describes her to a tee, only minus all the redeeming qualities. You know her if only in your worst nightmares.
Luckily for me 'twas a short-lived fling. I haven't a clue what became of her. Nor do I care. But I do know she never maintained a long-term relationship. By her own admission it simply wasn't in her nature.
I guess the question that lingers in my mind is why people get involved in this manner of relationships in the first place let alone stick with them long after the handwriting's on the wall in bold 36-font print. Now I'm not jawing about physically abusive deals, mind you, for people who stick with those are either paralyzed by fear, downright delusional or else they derive some sick pleasure from being mistreated. I am talking about relationships with loopy, self-absorbed types like Lisa who profess to "live in the moment" but really live to inflict psychic agony on those closest to them. For my my money you might as well volunteer to have battery acid splashed in your face.
Best to steer clear of her ilk, me thinks.
comments (13)
Sample remark out of this chick's mouth, after having lost it all and having no prospects for the future: "Well, at least I've still got big tits. I'll make it."
by anna at September 27, 2003 2:37 PM
True.
by MrBlank at September 27, 2003 3:09 PM
quick guess on todd...gay todd....he might have had closeted yearnings for you, bubba.
todd wanted him some manna.
by lajoie at September 27, 2003 4:20 PM
That awful thought had occured to me. But I'll tell you this, during his straight period gals flocked to him. And the one time I tried to retaliate by hitting on his ex-wife, it failed miserably.
by anna at September 28, 2003 8:26 AM
speaking as a loopy, self-absorbed type who professes to 'live in the moment' (well, sometimes. other times i live in other moments. it's different from moment to moment, you know.) ... where was i? oh right: we psycho bitches need lovin' too.
and crazy girls are hot. or is it hot girls are crazy?
and it doesn't surprise me that a closeted gay guy would get all the chicks. that totally makes sense.
by lizard at September 28, 2003 5:16 PM
I don't get chicks, so I must be straight, but gay guys hit on me.
by MrBlank at September 28, 2003 7:36 PM
Another pal of mine got an earring long before it was fashionable for dudes. You guessed it---he put it in the so-called "gay ear." Soon enough he was getting goosed in elevators and worse, much to his chagrin. Or so he claims.
by anna at September 29, 2003 6:51 AM
Liz beat me to it. We psycho girls need love, not battery acid.
by Linz at September 29, 2003 10:50 AM
Wait. I mean, you need us, not battery acid. Misread your sentence.
by Linz at September 29, 2003 11:06 AM
hey, we need you AND battery acid. life is much harder to live without either.
by lajoie at September 29, 2003 11:21 AM
Linz I like the first version better. "...need love, not battery acid" has a cool ring to it. And to think I almost went back and deleted the battery acid reference.
by anna at September 29, 2003 6:23 PM
I once saw this cute guy in a store and I started to give him flirty looks and such until I saw an earring in the dreaded Gay Ear and got really confused. He looked really straight. Then he looked straight AND confused when I suddenly started ignoring him. So I think the moral of the story must be: straight guys need to research their ear piercings lest they face a lifetime of being goosed by hefty gay men in close spaces while simultaneously being snubbed by straight women.
by jean at September 30, 2003 3:40 AM
Ah, the gay ear. Now it's harder to tell, since piercing both ears is the vogue now.
When I was in middle school my friends used to call me "ladies' man" because I always "flirted" with the girls...............
by snaggle at October 1, 2003 4:57 AM