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Illumiwhati?
by effenheimer at 02:50 PM on August 26, 2003
I fancy myself a somewhat keen observer of the world. Events happen, troubles are resolved, connections are made. Internationally, nationally and locally, things go awry and are also solved rather suddenly and with a most mysterious alacrity.
On the world scene, you see corporations with government ties receiving contracts in Iraq without bidding for them. Nationally, our political system is divided pretty evenly between two virtually identical political parties whose only real difference is their mascot.
Locally, well, that’s where things get dangerous, isn’t it? On the world stage, no one cares much if a small-market newspaper columnist or even CNN breaks a story about high-level hooligansim. Heck, those stories make sure no one is asking about the aliens squirrled away in the desert. But in the dog-eat-dog world of “who gets to chew on the bone next” local power grabbery, you better watch your back, mister, because every scrap is to be fought for.
You see, for the most part, no one you know is likely to be a world player any time soon. The best most of us can hope for, if we are smart enough, rich enough and well-connected, is to get into state politics.
Things, ESPECIALLY the little things, happen for “a reason.”
Things don’t happen in the affairs of men because the Lord wills them done. Frankly, I don’t think God cares one way or the other who gets the carpet-cleaning, construction, uniform and catering contracts for cities, counties and state. I doubt very much that Jesus is worried about which public officials hand out favors to family members and friends.
On the other hand, every carpet-cleaning business within six counties of a city of 1,000 cares ... very much. Every restaurant and deli is at least interested. Uniform manufacturers? Indeedy.
Ja, meinen freunden, even the fry guy at Mickey D’s only has the sweet spot under the AC vent because he takes night classes in community and regional planning with the assistant manager’s sister.
It’s been said that it isn’t what you know, but who you know that counts. True, but knowing is only half the battle. It’s not just who you know, it’s how well you work those you know. THAT has always been the failing of those who cannot overcome their circumstances. People with any kind of power and authority want to promote people like themselves (perhaps only less qualified) who can help them keep their stuff. They didn’t spend years “working hard” to get to the top so they could open up the doors for people unlike them who might steal it all.
This isn’t freaky conspiracy theory nonsense. This isn’t “get the aluminum foil hats out of the closet, Ethyl, the alien-controlled CIA agents are back” hooey. This is politics, baby, the way it’s been since, well, forever.
Now, maybe it seems I’ve come upon this theory a bit late in life. After all, it isn’t rocket science and many people out there understand these things intuitively while many others never quite seem to “get it.” I am working class, after all, and guys like me are brought up on the “notion” or “bold-faced lie” that rewards come to those who work for them. It keeps us going day after day until one day we die from an industrial accident.
Starting in September, I will be seeking out a powerful secret society to ally myself with. I want a good secret society, too, one that can lift me from the muck and grime of my current squallor to the heights of power and influence, maybe even get me a spot on a library board one day or hold highly-stylized orgies like in “Eyes Wide Shut.”
What I offer in return, besides my secret recipe for espresso chocolate chunk peanut butter cookies and stamina is basic language/typing skills, a large collection of BBC comedies and my willingness to commit unspeakable acts of gratuitous violence in return for power and great wads of filthy lucre.
comments (6)
I don't kowtow to anyone, and I certainly don't bust my balls at work (although that's soon to change). Subsequently, I am nowhere. Who's fault is it? Mine.
My point is that those with enviable skills (i.e. public relations or "kissing ass") usually rise while the noble savages wallow in mediocrity. You can't change it, life's not fair, waah waaaaaaah. When I see someone driving an SL 500, my first instinct is not to say "rich asshole," but rather "well, that person probably works too much and is consumed with the acquisition of wealth."
My father was (and still is) working-class. His is a story of astonishing upward mobility simply because he has never taken "no" for an answer, and he was blessed with a personality not bequeathed to yours truly. He caddied (double-bag) at a local country club that his father could never dream of joining to work his way through college and medical school. I have vague memories of him coming home one day a week to the squalor that was our home to play with me before he passed out on the couch. Twenty-five years later, he lives in a million-dollar house and drives a 500 SL with a boat in the back yard. Undoubtedly, people look at him and say "rich asshole," to which he would probably laugh. I don't think the guy has slept more than four hours per night for thirty years.
I don't think there has been a phone conversation with him in the last seven years that hasn't ended with him asking, "do you need anything?" The answer has never been "yes." If I wanted it, I'd go get it. At least he bequeathed dignity.
This post is not exactly pertinent to Eff's post, but things of this nature have been bothering me as of late. I work with union guys who blindly hate anyone with money; as if these people tripped and fell into a pile of cash. My coworkers have made no attempts to better themselves; entrenchment is the only goal. They hate competition because they know they cannot compete.
I love material distractions from the inevitability of death as much as the next person, but I'm not willing to drop to my knees to get them. Eff, you possess an intimidating wit, and if I had such an Inner Party position available, you'd be at the top of the list.
by douchenation at August 26, 2003 4:34 PM
Yes he does have an imposing wit. I don't even like my posts to be near his. But don't discount carpet-cleaning. My friend Alan grew up in similarly modest circumstances and built relationships with people who needed a LOT of rugs cleaned. He now lives on an estate, owns a Mercedes, Ferrrari and a Harley. He also has a fully automatic machine gun but we won't get into that.
by anna at August 26, 2003 5:04 PM
Damn I'd forgotten all about Eyes Wide Shut. A while back I posted about the worst movies ever released and we forgot all about that turkey. I remember reading about the difficulties Tom Cruise had sporting wood for Nicole Kidman and thinking he must be gay. Oh well, at least Stanley Kubrick is gone.
by anna at August 26, 2003 6:33 PM
I grew up in a professional family, all doctors, generation after generation. My mother's side, was military, but the military in China was treated as professional class... Me, I've been given so much support in my life, but unlike my brothers, my incompetence ruined and squandered my education, my potential has never been tapped, and now... as I face unemployment in the most unforgiving city on earth... I light a cigarette... breathe a little... and sigh... I worked too hard, but not smart, and that's why I have gray hairs... so I relax... claim unemployment... have my fiance support me(if she gets a decent job)... I'm now Classless. Blue Collar, White Collar, I'm Purple Collar...
by LOCKHEED at August 26, 2003 6:36 PM
Do whatever you want in life Lockheed, and don't let the choices of others intimidate you. Just because your grandpa, and your grandpa's grandpa, and blah blah blah into the hazy mists of antiquity all did the same or similar things, doesn't mean you have to. You've got your own battles to fight; don't go fighting your relatives' battles for them, too. I've got something of the same background... a Zhou, descendant of the founder of the Song dynasty, great-grandparents that held Imperial posts... well tell that to the Cox Communications holding that laid me off, right? Tell that to the companies that won't hire me because I'm over-qualified. Hell, tell it to the Communists that wanted to kill or otherwise "re-educate" my grandfather just because he was a doctor. The world has changed, and it has rarely changed so drastically for Chinese people as when the Communists took over. I'm guessing that your family either had to go into hiding or leave China entirely during the Cultural Revolution, just like mine did. Your relatives may have spent the intervening decades hating themselves because life isn't the way it used to be anymore. Well they've got to quit living in the past. The world is going to change; it's never going to stay the same. Your job is to change with it, to stay alive, scent the winds around you, and do what's best for you. Anyone that tells you otherwise just does not get it.
To quote one of my all-time favorite books, Dune: "Stagnation is death."
And I apologize if I ramble, but I'm feeling a bit strongly about the whole subject myself, right now. My mother recently informed me that she was "ashamed" of me because my $10/hr wage work makes me a social liability around my own extended family. She says that I'm not making anything of myself. I say I'm in a slump. She doesn't even know my track record, and she's lived with me for (most of) 28 years. I was never out sick a day of school from 7th grade to high school graduation, I went to a top 20 university, I graduated just shy of cum laude honors and am actually summa cum laude in my upper division work, at one point I was making more money than she was, and now, at this late date, she thinks I'm going to _start_ being a slacker. What can I say? Lockheed, if you're hearing anything at all similar from your own family, I'll shake my fist in the air and yell "screw 'em!" on your behalf, right out here on the Left Coast.
by jean at August 31, 2003 3:44 PM
well good luck in september. reminds me of a book called GOAT a memoir. it was kick ass!
personally i've been rather dissapointed at my shadows.
by Jereme Lee Rucker at December 28, 2004 10:31 PM