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Episode III: Not yet titled

by ezy at 09:46 AM on July 18, 2003

I finished the job in Wisconsin and moved back to North Carolina. During this time Stephanie and I had broken up so I moved my things out and decided a change of scenery would be nice. We had a job coming up in D.C. working at the Secret Service building so I jumped at it. I moved to Baltimore to live with my future brother in law and started working in D.C. After a couple of months I grew disenchanted with my employer. When I found out what others in the area were making doing the same job (I was being drastically underpaid) I decided to change companies. I sent my resume to two local companies and received calls back in about a half hour. The company I’m with now asked me to come in for an interview. I went in armed with the pay scale knowledge and made a pretty high request for salary. They didn’t blink an eye so I left my old company. I moved from Baltimore to Northern Virginia to be closer to my job. The commute from Baltimore to my job took me, minimum, two hours one way. Screw that.

My buddy from the Army was looking for work so I got him hired on with my company. We found a nice two bedroom with a loft and set out to have some fun with D.C. About a year in to living here I received a call from my Dad. “Becca’s been calling for you so I gave her your number.” Shit! My Dad is such a schmooze with the ladies that all she had to do was sweet talk him for, oh, about 2 seconds to get the digits. “Thanks Pop” I said and got off of the phone. True to form Becca called that night. I was on high alert but was expecting a call from a girl I was dating. Due to my boy’s frugal ways we didn’t have caller ID. Normally this wouldn’t have been a problem because we have an answering machine. The girl I was seeing wouldn't leave messages though and I wouldn’t have known if it was her or some other weirdo that won’t leave messages so I took a chance. Damn! Becca. She started talking like she had some sense. Is this the same crazy chica that had been stalking me? She told me that she had finished her nursing degree and was currently working in San Francisco. On the other coast. Sweet! We had a good conversation devoid of crazy talk and hung up amicably.

Wow. I didn’t believe this was possible. Maybe she finally accepted the fact that it was never going to happen between us? Maybe. We talked off and on for about eight months. I would help her with her guy problems and we became pretty good friends. One night I get a call from her. “Guess where I am?” she said. “Not a clue” I replied. She was in our home town. She asked me if I was coming in for the weekend and I said no. She then proceeded to tell me that she had accepted a job in Connecticut, would be driving through the area, and asked if she could crash at my place as an in between point. My boy Dave was going to be home and she had been acting cool so I said “Why not?” The night she showed up my boy had to go to his girl’s house for an unscheduled parental event. I told him he was screwing me but there was nothing he could do about it. I decided to invite some friends over as a buffer and hoped she would act ok. Surprise, surprise. She, basically, chased me around my apartment telling me how she had never stopped loving me. When my friends showed up I proceeded to pour drinks down her throat in the hopes she would pass out. She finally did around 4am. The girl can hang. I’ll give her that. I stayed up playing X-Box until she got up the next morning. She had to be in Connecticut at an appointed time so she HAD to leave. I wished her well, sent her on her way and got some sleep.

I dodged her calls for a solid month so she got smart. She got my work number out of my Dad. She called me at work one day and I, unsuspecting, answered the phone. She informed me that she was moving again. To Bethesda, Maryland! This is only forty minutes or so from me. I lost it. I told her if she ever called me again I would get a restraining order and have it enforced. “Why can’t you just love me?” she whined at me. “I just don’t Becca” I said. “Nothing you do will change that fact”. She proceeded to inform me of how good we would be together and told me that I was crazy to pass this up. I’m the crazy one now?! I’m not the one who has been stalking someone for sixteen plus years. Well, it has been a couple of months, I’ve changed my numbers and have sworn my Father to secrecy. I told him if he ever gave out my number to her I would never talk to him again. I was half joking, half not. He got the picture. She has called my Dad a few times still requesting my number but he has stood firm. Go Pops! Maybe the dark side has been defeated after all.

comments (11)

Ezy, good god, dude. Please reinforce your locks. We want to keep you around.

by Linz at July 18, 2003 10:26 AM


If she hasn't tried to kill you in 16 years, she probably won't try now.

It's not as if you haven't rejected her before.


Good cautionary tale, very amusing.

by chuckwoolery at July 18, 2003 10:55 AM


Thanks guys. I've never before even thought to write this tale. Going back and reading it makes me realize just how nutty this girl is. Most guys say they have a stalker when a girl calls them for a week straight. I have had a genuine, bona fide, class A stalker. Oh shit. I'm, kind of, nervous now.

by Ezy at July 18, 2003 11:13 AM


Wow, all this for a night of fun with the trouser snake. My youngest sister has a stalker, too. He's been calling our house for about eight years now, since they were in the third grade together. She still sees him at school. He's a social pariah there because he's needy, creepy, and full of himself, all at the same time. We're probably the only number he can call when he's feeling down. Quite sad, really.

by jean at July 18, 2003 4:13 PM


That night wasn't all that fun, for me, if my memory serves me correct. It was drunken sloppy sex. Not the most gratifying sex you can have. Decent but not memorable.

That guy sounds like quite a character. I wouldn't feel too sorry for him though. You make your own decision about how to carry and present yourself to others. If you choose to be needy, creepy and full of yourself then you deal with the consequences.

by Ezy at July 19, 2003 1:02 PM


I think you are crazy, don't you realize how good you two would be together? no one could ever love you like Becca, don't you SEE that? MY GOD! Love like that only comes around once in a lifetime and you are just taking a huge shit on it.

Honestly though, 16 years? I couldnt handle that shit, I'd have to pop a cap in the bitch's face if she showed up on my doorstep unannounced. When I say stay the fuck away from me, I mean it and if a man woman dog pygmy or whatever keeps coming back for two or three warnings, eventually one of those warning is "if you come near me again, it's self defense time and I will shoot you." I know enough cops to know that at some point, this is perfecty acceptable if you fear for your safety.

by eff at July 20, 2003 3:09 PM


Eff, you're right man. I must be crazy to give up a chance at that type of relationship. Wow! I can't believe I didn't see this. Thanks for opening my eyes doggg. If she can cause me this much grief from afar I can't fathom what she would do if we lived together. I, probably, wouldn't even be able to walk without tripping over her everywhere I went. Too much of a clinger. No thanks.

The only reason I never took any tough action is that I really respect and dig her Dad. He's a Vietnam vet and a kick ass dude to boot. We got to be really good friends and I couldn't do anything to Becca because I knew it would, inadvertently, harm him too. I talked with him a couple of times about the situation and he talked to her but she wouldn't listen to him. I called and told him about the restraining order and he agreed that it was for the best.

by Ezy at July 21, 2003 9:14 AM


Did U say nursing degree? I'll never be hospitalized again.

by anna at July 24, 2003 6:03 PM


Anna, I think you'll be fine as long as you don't give her a happy ending. Personally, I haven't been to the doctor in ten years. Can't chance it.

by Ezy at July 25, 2003 9:19 AM


hey baby i miss you. and it’s not the stalker chick either. Its the stripper chick, talked with tom today .its time to have drinks watch south park, write songs ,listen to you play guitar… then fuck all night, all day and off and on till we drop. :0) Call McGlenn we’re both curious on how you are! .He sounds fine. I'm in Huntington Beach right now; I'll be back home soon. no not Utah either. Portland Oregon. I ended up becoming a stripper and I love it, I always will remember “it’s about the turn on”. By the way this Becca bitch best back off or you know I'll take her out at the knee caps stalking my friend is prohibited as per Zenja I miss you! … Love Zenja...

P.S. bitches come and go, but friends are there forever. Especially a good fuck buddy, you’re always in me whether it be in my heart and soul, or in other ways. :o) they all make me smile. Muah!

P.S.S. If you want to get ahold of me... please respond to this and my friend Jillian will forward it to me... I would really like to hear from you!

by Zenja at August 6, 2003 12:35 AM


Zenja, you hottie. It's a long way from Utah huh girl? Those were some good times. How has life been treating you? Good I hope.

A stripper huh? Can a brotha get a lap dance? I'll get in touch with Tommy and get your digits. I'd like to catch up and see how you are.

If Becca keeps on I'll let you know. Peace sweetie.

by Ezy at August 6, 2003 11:09 AM