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College is wasted on the young ... like cartoons
by effenheimer at 03:37 PM on July 14, 2003
I get a lot of mileage at work telling my working class audience what a waste of time college is. They want to hear it and in many ways college is a waste of time. I tell them, college is like sex – no matter what you think you are getting yourself into, chances are what actually happens will leave you feeling disappointed, humiliated and, if you keep going back for four or five years, you will be in debt up to your eyeballs.
The benefits of college are illusive. College is a double-edged sword.
The truth is, college is just not for everyone. A good old fashioned university education would be, but college today is a business and the humanities, the very spirit of the university education, are the last priority. College is all about getting a degree that will get you a job. Like its a technical institute or a community college mechanics program.
Teachers have been telling us forver we need college, that everyone should go. That is kind of the problem, it's like democracy. Whenever you tailor something valuable for the masses, you tend to lower the value of the thing itself.
Basically, we do two things by convincing everyone they should go to college. We alienate all of the people who don't go to college which makes them feel stupid and makes them veangeful on those of us who come out of college and get McJobs working for these people. And it fills the halls of academe with morons who think that just because they went to college they are smart.
College has its moments. I made out with a gymnast once, for example, something that would never have happened if I hadn’t gone to college.
Back in the day, the university was a place of learning, pure and good. A university education used to mean that when you graduated, chances were pretty high you would be a much better and well-rounded person than when you went in. Universities once taught critical thought, logic, communication skills, and if you were not learning, you did not graduate. Today, most people come out just as stupid as when they went in, but they have a piece of paper that says otherwise.
Today, any monkey can graduate from college in four or five years because universities are big business. They need your butts in their lecture halls and your cash in their pockets to keep the show running and make their profile look good to corporations that choose which schools to invest in thus changing the direction of innovation and research and saving a few dollars by prostituting some scientists rather than buying their own.
And just to add insult to injury, corporations aren’t even impressed with the university degree in your pocket. They know just how devalued degrees have become, because they helped to devalue them. Oh, the engineering firms need to know you have a degree in engineering, but they are much more impressed by your internships.
Advanced degrees are almost mandatory anymore. Big Business could care less if you have a degree in archaeology, communication or Sanskrit. But if you have an M.B.A., you could be a sociopath and still get on. Being a sociopath is actually helpful in today’s competitive market.
Universities have turned into very expensive trade schools, so why not be smart and go to one of those instead? If you want the kind of enlightenment that only philosophy, history and literature bring, then get a library card and read books on your own time or wait a couple of years until you are old enough to appreciate your education. College is wasted on 18-year-olds. Very few people leave high school prepared to go to a major university.
To prepare, I highly recommend soul-crushing labor, preferably in some filthy telemarketing outfit for a few years. Only prison is better for making you take your life seriously. If you just want to be rich, I suggest you go to truck-driving school or become a plumber. If you want to learn about the world, read books on your own, travel or join the Army, preferably the American one.
Whatever you do, don’t expect college to spoon-feed you your future.
comments (24)
I would have to say that I agree with you Eff, in my case at least. I went straight from high school to college and wasted a couple of years, not to mention some of my parents money. I looked at my options and decided to join the Army. I put in my time, travelled the world, and saw things most will never get the chance to. I also made friends I can call at any time that will hop a flight and be there for me, no questions asked, even if I'm wrong. It's amazing the bonds you develop with people when there is a chance you'll get your asses shot off. I think the Army prepared me well for the civilian workplace. I seem to have more drive to get things done correctly with much less griping than most of my co-workers. Basically, there is nothing anyone can do to me out here that hasn't already been done, ten times worse, so I tend to do my job without the added whining. When I have to work a sixteen or even twenty hour day I can be happy that I'm in an air conditioned office and not a freakin' fox hole, in some other country, with people looking to bust a cap in my ass. Works for me
Conversely, the Army isn't for everyone either. Some people just aren't wired right to be able to conform to the regimented lifestyle that is the Army. You have to have a pretty sick sense of humor to laugh off some of the things you have to endure. The physical fitness portion never really bothered me. It was just something you had to get up every day and do. Listening to a complete idiot give you an order that borders on ridiculous then having to follow it is something totally different. You have to be a sick bastard to justify that.
I am going back to college in the Spring to complete my EET. I have no reservations and believe I will get a lot more out of it now than I would have when I was eighteen. I don't need to get it to find a job; I already have one. I want it for my own reasons. I think that is the difference.
by Ezy at July 14, 2003 4:28 PM
I haven't spent a lot of time incarcerated but my guess is you learn more valuable life lessons there than in college. Like when in the presence of a dozen horny men cut off from female companionship, don't drop the soap in the shower.
by anna at July 14, 2003 5:20 PM
"Whatever you do, don’t expect college to spoon-feed you your future."
Unless you are a minority, then get ready to open wide.
by MrBlank at July 14, 2003 5:26 PM
I seem to have a combination of the above suggestions.
Drank myself through the 1st two years of college, then took a break because it was wasted on me.
Then joined the army (Canadian Army... sorry not an American)
And then went back to University after 2 years away. Much more enjoyable, focussed, productive, and I had more appreciation...
After the mandatory BA, knowing I couldn't get a decent job with it, I got a law degree....
Highly recommended way of doing it. took 10 years all told, but worth every minute...
by chuckwoolery at July 14, 2003 5:34 PM
CORRECTION Mr.Blank: Unless you're black or hispanic. An Asian with a college degree is redundant. Even an Asian with an Ivy League degree. Yep. Redundant.
by LOCKHEED at July 14, 2003 7:11 PM
I love listening to white people bitch about how unfair the world is. In journalism, prissy, rich little white assholes get the sweet writing jobs because they were too incompetent to go into business so their mommies call up somebody elses mommie who is an editor at a big fancy newspaper and get them a gig writing features or movie reviews that should rightly go to someone who actually has skills. Don't believe me? Go to www.omaha.com and find two columnists in the search engine. One is named Rainbow Rowell and the other is named Ashley Hassebroek (used to write at the ISU Daily in A&E, sat right behind me). You will freaking puke. Just about anybody at BadSam writes better than these two. Then come back here and tell me how unfair it would be for even the most moderately, but still, QUALIFIED minority to get their jobs right now.
These monkeys went to college, learned nothing and got these gigs with nothing to show for it. Is that fair to a kid from North Omaha who worked his ass off and maybe wasn't the single greatest writer in the known universe but was a hell of a lot better than the average joe and could have brought a much needed perspective to a very white paper?
The world is full of inequites on all sides. If you are white and just didn't manage to steal your unfair share when you had the chance, don't expect me to cry for you Argentina.
by eff at July 14, 2003 7:27 PM
College is not for everyone, it is true... hell, high school aint for everyone, and there are plenty of people spinning their wheels in both places wasting time, air and resources. Truly, if every citizen put in some time doing service (not habitat for humanity bullshit, I mean bussin fuckin' tables after a Friday rush) The world would probably be a more understanding place. And speaking of understanding, what the fuck do you (you know who I mean) guys know about being on the shit end of the system? I'm no fan of Affirmativa Action, I think it undermines the honest effort of many a capable young person (read Losing The Race by John McWhorter) but you gentlemen speak as if these students created any of the circumstances that exist in the country the live in by accident of birth. There but for the Grace of God go I , you or the Asian cat around the corner. We are all lucky to live in this land of (dare I say it) opportunity and not Somalia, the Ukraine, or some other place that we see on the news and cringe about. Inequity is the American way, from the very inception of the idea of the nation, Affirmative Action is a noble, if misapplied attempt to correct what is (I don't think you would argue with me here) a pretty ugly period from our collective past. If we've over come all those difficulties, when we overcome these issues, then you should cry foul.
by Iz at July 14, 2003 10:51 PM
As a secondary english teacher in a small, southern state, let me be the first, second, last? to but in my two twangy cents.
College is a financial investment, and as much, you will only put in what you get out. For example, if you proceed to drink yourself out of three prestigous schools (as a friend of mine did), then it is obvious that you are there for the social element of life. Your bar tab is bigger then the tuiton bill, even after the 15 percent hike.
My background is of back breaking labor digging ditches in the 100 degree heat 4 days out of the week, and that was before my second job of landscaping. Now, I am in the school building, air conditioned, and the worst fear that I have to face (other then the ocassional fight) is the air turning off after 4 pm (aqain, thanks to budget cuts).
I digress. College is not for everybody. Back breaking soul robbing labor should be a law in this country, if for no other reason then to make people realize just how good they have it after they get that degree.
College is not for the weak of heart or mind. They do not spoon feed you, they knock the top of a fire hydrant and tell you to hold on. For my personal experience, college is what made me the focused individual that I am today. It wasn't the classes, it was the simple fact that at eighteen years of age, I was told one slipped through the net and I had to face responsibility for my actions. The simple little bump (depending on what month we were in) brought me into focus more then anything else could. Thanks to that simple accident of fate, I was able to graduate with two degrees in four years, put my wife through medical school, and hold down a teaching job in one of the top districts in my state. As noted earlier, college is a simple test of getting out of it what you put in, and I put I more then I bargained for.
by English at July 15, 2003 12:07 AM
Why didnt you just get an abortion? Then you could have told us about how awesome that abortion was that left you with plenty of time to go to school and drink.
School was not hard enough for me frankly. I think I could have benefitted from a more academically serious environment where every jerkoff didn't feel free to argue, in biology class, that evolution is just a theory and that any evidence to suggest the reality of natural selection, like black moths surviving in a soot covered industrial england, was just "well that's just natural. "
"Exactly!" shouted our prof to a room full of shitheads who still didn't get it.
I think it is this overwhelming gratitude that everyone keeps yammering on about how we should all be so god damned grateful we arent living in a REALLY shitty country that keeps us from fulfilling our destiny as a country capable of more than just kicking the shit out of third worlders. I walked beans as a kid, I've bailed hay and worked ona dairy farm 12 hours a day, so I know what hard work is more than most people these days, but I'm not gonna be grateful that my education was designed for people so stupid they shouldnt have graduated from high school.
Sit down and talk with some limey's some time. even the ones who just graduated from high school are so wicked smart they make most of us look like morons. And I'm no anglophile, I don't even like limey's, but I give them credit, when it comes to book learnin' they got the mad skills.
by eff at July 15, 2003 12:20 AM
We have the mad skills because we don't hang about, when it comes to education were serious about it. However exactly what you're saying concerning B.A. and Bsc degree's is happening here, they're becoming worthless as time goes by. They have been devalued by an influx of people gaining them and to many firms wanting them as base qualifications.
I actually work in a University in the north of England and we have rising numbers of people coming to do B.A./Bsc's but not because they plan to get jobs with that qualification but because it allows them to jump to an M.A. or Mphil/PHD and they're now the qualifications that firms are looking for. I guess over here in the UK the business place demands high levels of education attainment and perhaps that's why we have those mad skills or perhaps it's just because we know how to work harder, who knows ;)
Also, what's wrong with us "limeys" EFF?
by o_O at July 15, 2003 3:04 AM
Well, I don’t believe that college is a waste of time, but certainly feel it is a waste of money (remembers I have a student loan payment due soon). In my humble opinion, college was prolly the best time of my life; fun, parties etc. And, if I think hard enuff, I may have learned a thing or two about a thing or two.
What I found shocking, even appalling, were the punk assed kids who slid through on somebody else’s bill. You know the types; the ones who made little to zero effort to attend; never came prepared, and made it rather difficult for me to find my studious little ass in an environment of being able to fully absorb the teaching that spewed from the front of the room by some slovenly, bespectacled, bald headed grunt who cared less if I learned a thing or two about a thing or two or not.
Never-the-less, I thoroughly enjoyed my college experiences, and hope to return to finish out that BS degree (which needs only two more semesters) someday. However, my questionable occupation has rendered me in a position of making more money than that lousy piece of paper ever would or possibly ever will, in spite of all the honor roll stamps, and Ivy League signatures it has on it or could have had if I had only continued (YES I have earned the bragging rites here!). So in lieu of my predicament, I’ll continue to be a dreg of this hypocritical society, maintain my position as a Manager and nude dancer in a building that is deemed “The Monument of Debauchery” and consider myself a hopeless victim of my own delicious circumstances: With or With out a gold stamped Degree.
p.s. Since I haven’t heard back from MG concerning my enrollment status to this list, I did find myself slightly discouraged and filled my time up with more Bachelor Parties, dance shows, etc. and haven’t had time to catch up on the entries. I may in fact go and do that now as I do find the comments here absolutely enjoyable! ~winks~
Later
Pantera
by Pantera at July 15, 2003 3:37 AM
MG, where are you? A stripper wants to grace your site with her perspective, and she's got mad verbal skills as seen above. It's win-win.
by anna at July 15, 2003 6:45 AM
A stripper with mad verbal skills? Cmon now... what's the point of that? That's like a midget wearing platform shoes. It's like taking a blind mad for a scenic drive. However... a stripper with mad ORAL skills...
(BTW- super nitpicky point, but hey, I am a super nitpicky person and no one has liked me since the 3rd grade... the stripper's comments above are not really "verbal skills" at all, regardless of whether they are mad or not. Verbal usually implies the spoken word, as opposed to the written word.)
by Eviltom at July 15, 2003 9:01 AM
I found college very useful as a "growing experience." So many people. I loved it. But as for what I learned, and my output, it did little to nothing to prepare me for the real world. I skated by, procrastinated, wrote seriously shitty papers, crammed to study, and yet graduated with honors. I'm sure the size of the place didn't help: how can you really get anything out of a class with 500 people in it?
And I was NOT ready to decide the rest of my life. Shit, I got a degree in advertising and now I work for a nonprofit and the most relevant future schooling would be a masters in public health.
I agree with IZ, I think EVERYONE should have to work a service job for at least a year. Maybe retail for a year, food for a year... I feel like a cynical grandfather saying this, but the problem with kids these days is they expect everything to be handed to them. American Dream with no work to achieve it. I am a perfect example. I am still trying to figure out how to Work at work.
by Linz at July 15, 2003 9:10 AM
Hey Eff, I’m not bitching about how unfair the world is. The saying “Its who you know, not what you know” has always applied to everyone. There is always someone who’s going to get more.
My problem with colleges and affirmative action is that they focus on race. Universities have entire offices staffed with full-time employees whose main job is recruiting, funding and babysitting minority students. (By minority, they mean black students.) These employees spend their time watching what these students do, make sure they apply for things on time, fill out paperwork for them, find tutors and help them in other ways. If colleges were really interested in diversity, they would be recruiting more Hispanics, native americans and middle easterners.
Living in the rural Midwest, I went to school with some bright (white) kids who deserved to go to college and didn’t. They were poor and had parent’s who never went to college. Sure, they got a Bright Flight scholarship for their high SAT scores, but $2,000 a year doesn’t cut it when even the cheapest public college costs more than $10,000 a year. Where are the staffs of people to help these kids?
I think Affirmative Action is a good thing and a needed thing. I just want it to change its focus from race to class. Then anyone who needs help getting a college education can get it.
by MrBlank at July 15, 2003 9:25 AM
Ok Blank, Now I smell what your cookin'. I agree that class issues are much more pervasive than lingering racial ones, even though I know there is some more work to do racially. I know that AffirmativeA is creating a generation of kids that feel entitled because of race, I see it im my classroom all the time. I just don't want to hear you bagging on all the people of any particular group... Increasingly I am of the opinion that all this freedom that we have, to fail and succeed may be detrimental to our mental state. If college entrance was based only on merit, for EVERYONE it would be a different experience. I know it would have changed my life as I barely made it through undergrad. College is generally wasted on people who don't get the value of Learning, as a means to an end eff is right: Send 'em to trade school (Isn't law school really trade schol these days?) and leave college for the knowledge seekers.
by iz at July 15, 2003 10:07 AM
I'd be totally down with affirmative action based on class, but yout try to sell that one in a capitalist country and they just call you a commie and move in. I've known plenty of poor white people I think have more in common with poor black peopl than they do rich white people. but there are still plenty of white people i've met who have no excuse to bitch. Anybody go look at those colunists i told you about? They suck hideous ASS! and every time some rich white chick or dude gets handed a sweet job that is nothing more than a meaningless leftover of some minor prestige befitting their stupid asses it pisses me off.
There ARE class issues involved. I am almost physically incapable of kissing rich white ass for example. i reek of working class values and I refuse to pretend some white guy is smart just because he's rich. I like my general manager, he's a good guy. i told him i was gonna kiss his ass now that he is temporary publisher and he said "oh yeah like you did for the previous publisher?" and I was all like "since when is it considered a good thing to kiss ass?" I can't do it. I wont do it. I will treat people with respect and courtesy but I wont suck their ass just to scrape by especially if they treat me like shit. They aint pharoahs, they're just bosses, money grubbing assholes who got the loot first, well its all loot baby and its all up for grabs.
by eff at July 15, 2003 3:57 PM
College is what you make of it. That's all. Me, I learned a little. But that's not what I'm commenting on... I put down $1000 on online blackjack, turned it into a nice $2420. Tax Free Motherfucker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank you ANNA!!!!woooooohooooo, now stick a needle in the haystack of debt that sits plopped down in front of my proverbial window. One baby step at a time.
by LOCKHEED at July 15, 2003 6:40 PM
Lock, I'm glad to hear about your windfall but what did I have to do with it? And gambling winnings are taxable, trust me, just as losses are deductible.
by anna at July 16, 2003 6:54 AM
Concerning the admissions policies of most univeristies, I am not sure about other institutions of higher ed, but here we are facing a tremendous budget crunch (thanks to the state legislator, whose math skills rival mine for being worst in the universe--2+2 does not equal 5, yet our elected officals tend to think so). , and as such, the tuition has been hiked up mpre then a senior citizens pantaloons at a nursing home.
There is an influx of people with college degrees and they quite frankly do not know what to do with them. However, I think that some attention needs to be paid to certain trends and issues )one of my degrees is history--bear with me).
The generation that begin in the 70's was the generation that began this mad dash to the ivory tower. It was a simple reason for it, we all wanted a piece of the pie that we saw around us, influenced and fueled in part by such shows as "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous", and the media reporting that athletes and actors were getting paied a few million a season, a movie, whatever.
This greed and eased standards continued through till the 80's and in the 90's. if you can come up with a new bit of computer code (i.e. The Dancing Baby, which to be quite frank and honest, if an abortion should have taken place, it should have been with that), you were an instant gazillionaire. Remember when Amazon.com first launched? It never made money, yet it was the one of the most heavily traded companies on the stock exchange.
Now, the future generation of students are looking at people who made their forune by going one of two career routes: music or sports. It is disgusting and heart breaking when a student who can't read past the third grade tells you he is going to drop out of school and spend his time working with his music groiup. Or that a coach excuses the behavior of an athlete due to the simple fact that he was trainig. Don't woprry about the influx of students. In a few years, it will be all colleges can do to have students even attend.
There is a massive dumbing down in this country, and yes, it is a social problem. We are faced with the sickening propsect of people getting paid 90 million for wearing a pair of shoes, and kids today are going to think to think to themselves that they are giong to do the same thing. Honestly, it is a set of screwed up values. These kids can't see twelve inches in front of their face, and as a result, they won't hear the train until it is too late.
It is a social issue. We have our priorities all screwed up. We made it too easy to get into college, hell maybe we were too good at doing what we did. I have more respect for a student who sits in my class and sleeps (still won't let them get away with it) because he worked the 3rd shift then some thug who believes that he is God's gift to music or sports.
Now then, for those individuals who think that young ones should work at least ayear and learn a work ethic, don't worry. These people are coming to bag grocieries, clean the McDonalds, or wash your car very soon. And in 10-20 years, when we are facing the largest uneducated segment of our population since the 18-19 Century, are you still think that we should not allow them a chance because we, their predecessors, felt that college was a waste of time, money, resources, etc?
It is not so much a social issue, but social issues, and I am pretty certain that once we spend more time examining the details and stop throwing time, $and people pell-mell towards problems, then we might just get back on the right track
by English at July 17, 2003 10:15 PM
Reading all of the other comments has somewhat sidetracked me from my original point, but here goes. To say college isn't fit for an 18 year old is age discrimination (to say anything isn't fit for an 18 year old is discrimination imo). A culture has a large hand in the maturing process of a child, and ours works harder to hold back than push forward. High school is a joke, which in turn makes college a joke because high school graduates have no idea what learning is or how important it is. There are children who have an innate passion for learning and who should be in college earlier, if only to rescue their brains from public education. But, college isn't for everyone, high school isn't for everyone, the army isn't for everyone, yadda yadda. I'm done. : )
by geekfriend at July 22, 2003 1:27 AM
I agree with geekfriend. Age isn't the issue. Brains is.
by Tom Morris at October 8, 2003 1:17 PM
alright yah fucks, everybody in here is talking about how retarded college is along with themselves. Well, it depends on what you go into, if your thinking about majoring in liberal arts or history or junk like that, then yah it might be a waste of time and money,,,,,unfortunately for you rainy day college bashers there are people out there that make the best out of college, my brother graduated from dentistry and makes six figures a year,, how much do you guys make driving dumptrucks around? my other brother is going into chiropractic field which promises much money and advancement unlike your stupid grocery store jobs..... and me,,,,im graduating with an MBA and MS in engineering,, ive already been offered a starting salary of 84k a year,,,, with no experience,,, so in closing fuck you guys and have fun laboring the rest of your life losers
by tdelf at September 20, 2005 10:49 PM
the thing is too long
by jfdskfje at January 28, 2007 7:44 PM