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ezy

When the levee breaks

by ezy at 04:06 PM on April 08, 2003

Ok. I posted last week about spending the weekend with my ex-fiancé. Well, it didn’t happen boys and girls. The God, of relationships to be, has smote this fledgling endeavor a probable death blow. What could’ve happened you ask? I’ll tell you.

The plans were:
Ezy: play golf with friends teeing off at 12 noon
Steph: go to baby shower with sister and meet Ezy after golf

What went wrong: a car full of teenagers running a stop sign and hitting car with Ezy and acquaintance.

We played one hell of a round of golf that day save for Joe who was playing for the first time. I swear he shot 300. No shit. For those of you who don’t golf that would be the equivalent of me playing tennis (I suck) with Pete Sampras. Joe being me and the rest of us being Pete Sampras. Oh fuck it. I’m just confusing myself now. Anywho, it took about six hours to play eighteen when it usually takes about four and a half. I never, ever take my cell phone on the course. It’s worse than taking it to dinner with you etiquette wise. We left the course with me digging through my backpack for said cell phone. Before I can get my hands on it I hear squealing tires and feel a good jolt to the car. The aforementioned teenagers had hit us on my side in the passenger door. Shit! We get out of the car and checked on the kids. Everyone was fine but the kids were scared and my buddy had been drinking. My friend decided he wouldn’t pass a breathalyzer and made a deal with the kids. He told the kids that we were going to leave and he’d take care of the damage and they could handle the accident any way they wanted. Tell the cops they were hit and the other vehicle left or make up whatever story they thought would work. We left. Now, at this point, the smart thing would’ve been to call Steph and explain what happened. I didn’t do this. I was so caught up in the moment that she wasn’t first and foremost in my mind.

We got his car to a mutual friend’s house, that happened to live on the same road, and he let us put the vehicle in his barn. He then gave us a ride home so my golf buddy could plan how he was going to get out of this mess. He dropped me off and I ran upstairs while reaching for my cell to call Steph. Guess what? I had left it in golf buddy’s car. I don’t have anyone’s number memorized, with the exception of my family and a few close friends, so I couldn’t call. I rationalized what I would do, in her shoes, and decided she would be glad I was ok and write it off to bad luck. I went to bed with a throbbing head from hitting the door. I called the next morning and told her what had happened. No are you ok, nothing. She didn’t believe me; that much was evident. We talked for a while about nothing and I had another call come in I had to take. I asked if I could call her back and she said sure. I called back and her sister informed me she was in the shower and she would call me back later. Well it sure is later isn’t it? I’d say two days qualifies as later. I have called her cell and left messages called her sister’s house, where she is staying, and no return call.

Well, I guess this will about do it for the fairy tale. Damn, I had a feeling that it might actually work this time but if this is all it takes to derail us; maybe it wasn’t meant to be in the first place. I guess the moral of this story is; if you guys know any nice single women, living in Northern Virginia hook me up.

comments (16)

At least you're okay, Ezy. I hate the slow motion sound of metal crunching during car collisions, been in too many myself. That was clearly cosmic intervention. Move on. I would say I am sorry, but all I believe in is bad luck. Doesn't seem like you or Steph really put any effort into honestly meeting up again... mind tricked you to feel the pain, of someone close to you leaving the game... of love... as for other W.Virginia single women, how about the SATANIST? GO FOR IT. She sounded super-cool. I bet it'd be fun. We all like fun. You sound like you need some fun. Just fun. No fun for lockheed. I sound like Eviltom. huh. Where the hell has he been?

by LOCKHEED at April 8, 2003 4:40 PM


Dude, you must have been a real bastard if she wouldn't believe you got in a cart wreck.

by mg at April 8, 2003 4:45 PM


i agree with lockheed...chalk this up to divine intervention. if she can't take something like this in stride, it's definitely not worth it.
as for the wreck, glad to hear you're okay. no go out and get laid!

by JC at April 8, 2003 4:51 PM


hmmm...i meant now go out and get laid!!!

by JC at April 8, 2003 4:58 PM


Thanks Lock. I appreciate it.

Northern Va my man. Northern Va.

Maybe Satan Mama is just what the doctor ordered. I don't know man. I'm not getting any younger and I thought I may be in the position to settle down with someone I love. Evidently she doesn't have the same ideas huh? The only thing with Satan Mama is that it probably wouldn't go much farther than sex and sacrifices. While there's a lot to be said for that; I'm looking for something a little more permanent and endearing.

I don't know where the Evil One has been. Wonder if MG has heard from him.

by Ezy at April 8, 2003 4:59 PM


I was a real bastard MG. I just didn't think I was that big of one. I do know one thing though. I'm not going to play the prove it to me game, if it comes to that. My word should be enough and if it isn't then the hell with it.

Thanks JC. I think I may take that advice when I throw off the depression.

by Ezy at April 8, 2003 5:04 PM


As everyone else has said, glad to hear you're okay, Ezy. Too bad about Steph, but... if she's not going to believe you got in a car accident, then maybe it's just not right. I mean, really, who's going to make up a story about a car accident to explain not getting together with someone? I'd be more likely to say I just forgot or got caught up with something (someone? ;)) else.

If you're ever north of the border, say Ontario-ish, lemme know. ;)

by Jen at April 8, 2003 6:12 PM


maybe Led Zeppelin said it best: what is and what should never be.

by Anna at April 8, 2003 6:22 PM


Now you can feel real glad you're ok and look for another woman that would eventually believe you were in an accident!!
About the she-devil : Ok maybe it won't be the love of your life, it sure could be fun until you find someone you'd care about (and wouldnt try to sacrifice you and would believe you when you tell her you were in an accident.)
I know I repeated everything everyone else told you. Well not on purpose!

by necropethamenos at April 8, 2003 7:38 PM


Ditto. Sounds like you've done more growing up than her. Find someone else who has too.

by Linz at April 9, 2003 8:37 AM


Jen, Anna, Necro and Linz, thank you guys. I appreciate the support here.

I called and left my final message on Steph's voice mail this morning. I, basically, told her that judging from her silence she's either dead or doesn't believe me about this weekend. I told her I would wait for her call and if she doesn't then it's been nice seeing her again. I won't bother her anymore. Can't get too much clearer than that huh?

If I get north of the border Jen, definitely.

Anna, ten drinks may not do it now. Maybe fifteen? I'll get in touch via the e-mail you gave me soon to set things up.

by Ezy at April 9, 2003 9:15 AM


Ezy, I must concur that this sounds like a case of divine intervention. It also seems to me that your karma needs an enema. If you really have changed, you need to forgive yourself once and for all for all the things you did in the past. That way, when someone treats you like shit, uses and abuses you, you won't subconsciously be feeling, "I deserve this". Let it go and move on, stop apologizing and making penance. You can never change what you did, only what you will do. By dragging yourself back to that place over and over again, you are only picking scabs off old wounds. Maybe Steph is part of that place, maybe not. For now, I stand by my self-flagellation theory.
From what you have said in past posts about the types of set-ups you always seem to find yourself in dating-wise and their perpetual unsuitability, I have formulated my own, wholly unscientific theory. You sound like a consumate people-pleaser, one who needs to be all things to all people. By reflecting your friends ideas/behaviors back at them, you end up on dates with people that they would like, not you. OK, enough pseudo-psycho babble...all I'm trying to say is, if you like who you are, purge all the guilt garbage and be that person with no apologies. If they don't like it, FUCK THEM!

by ThrowingMuses at April 9, 2003 10:54 AM


Muse, I agree with you on most of your points above. With my friends though,I am usually the one leading them to whatever ends we come to. I do try to make sure my friends are happy and that I do things for them but I wouldn't call that being a people pleaser. Just a good friend. The only person I am the "consumate people pleaser" with is Steph. You're absolutely right in your theory that I need to let my past transgressions go and be who I am now despite how some, who knew me then, still perceive me. It's hard, sometimes, to throw off old behavior and brave new territory. I'm working on that part though.

by Ezy at April 9, 2003 11:46 AM


I think it's important to note that if you're a completely different person for or with just one person -- i.e., you don't stand up for yourself, or you're always super-paranoid about cleaning the place up or some such -- that maybe you shouldn't be with that person.

The right man or woman loves you for who you are and doesn't want to change the integral parts of you. Maybe some of the minor details, like whether you throw your wet towel on the floor after a shower, or whether you throw used condoms at the ceiling -- those are acceptable behaviours to change -- but for the most part, if they can't accept you as you or you try to change in such a way that you think pleases them, it's not going to work. Being untrue to yourself that long isn't going to make anyone happy -- not this other person, not your friends, not your family, and not, most of all, you.

by Jen at April 10, 2003 11:44 AM


Jen, throwing used condoms at the ceiling? What have you been up to my dear? ;-)

You're absolutely right though. I think I have been denying the fact that Steph and I are totally, completely different people and there may be too much of a gap to overcome. I am a totally different person for her than with most. I have to make a ton of concessions to be with her. I don't know. Maybe I am just lonely and tired of not having someone special I can share things with, travel with, wake up next to every morning et. al. I never thought I would want those things but I am coming to realize that I do. On the other hand maybe I am just a sucker for the romantic part of it. The fairy tale, if you will, as Linz observed in an earlier comment. I'm not too sure it's going to matter anyway. She still hasn't called back so I'm pretty sure she's not going to. What's the cost of living like in Ontario?

by Ezy at April 10, 2003 12:51 PM


*grin* What can I say? After a really good shag, sometimes one winds up feeling pretty goofy. :)

Sorry to hear things are on the out... it's a tough one to come to terms with, and I rambled on and on about it on my site just last night. :P (A little bit of self-promotion never hurts ;)).

As for cost of living... I'll be finding out soon enough. A buddy and I are getting a place to share, just as soon as I can get that damn money coming in at the right level for me to afford all of my wondrous parties and such. :)

by Jen at April 10, 2003 3:37 PM