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O Cum All Ye Faithful
by anna at 03:55 PM on April 03, 2003
Tonight Diane Sawyer will interview Lisa Marie Presley. This chick mesmerizes me, in part because she's the spitting image of her dad only with that eerily impassive stare. You can expect Sawyer to pump her for juicy tidbits about her ill-fated marriages. You can also expect these questions to be ducked. Presley is only breaking her longstanding silence to promote To Whom It May Concern, due out 4/8/03.
But aside from that, what has she done with her life? Why then is she one of the most recognizable faces on Earth? Because she's a professional celebrity, that's why. Nor is she alone in this clique.
Elizabeth Taylor hasn't exactly been lighting up the screen in recent years. She last landed a starring role in 1966. (Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf?.) Her cameo in The Flintstones was a joke. Yet just about anyone could pick her from a police lineup.
Her pal Michael Jackson is another shaman at the Church of Charisma. His last two outings were disastrous both commercially and critically. Indeed, he hasn't done anything noteworthy since like 1988. Yet he still draws press like nobody's business. Networks turned to him during the February Sweeps.
Matthew Broderick ran over somebody in Scotland, killing him. I'd defy anyone to name a hit movie he's been in. Yet he's deified as Mr. Jessica Parker, as is Ben Lopez. What's he done for you lately?
Bill Clinton's legacy will forever remain tainted by the slurp 'n burp scandal. He had to be dragged kicking and screaming from the world stage. As a final insult he unleashed a swarm of violent criminals on an unsuspecting public. Yet he's still around running his mouth. And people listen.
Then there's comely Anna Kournikova, who's never advanced beyond the semifinals in a major tennis single's event. Her rank stands @ a lowly 66. Nonetheless, she's the most downloaded sportswoman of all time. Courtside, fisticuffs break out over her musky, sweat-soaked towels. Go figure.
I think the world would be a far better place were we to raze the Church of Charisma. Singers, politicos, actors and athletes should be judged solely on recent accomplishments. When they're washed-up, they should be consigned to the scrap heap of history. What do you think?
comments (14)
I wouldn't consign Anna Kournikova to any scrap heap unless it happened to reside in my bedroom. The rest of those yahoos can be put out to pasture.
by Ezy at April 3, 2003 4:14 PM
Kournikova is a boring 'guy' babe. not my type. Just Another lame Maxim frat type. Pete sampras is the boringest fuck ever. So was Evander Holyfield. Philip Seymour Hoffman will be in a main role on the Broadway production of Eugene Oneill's Long day's Journey into Night. It opens at the End of April. Brian Dennehy is Mr. Tyrone in it. It's going to be INCREDIBLE. That's good shiite. I LOVE THE TITLE OF THIS POST.
by LOCKHEED at April 3, 2003 8:50 PM
I think noone should get special treatment even before they're washed up. Why does anyone have to ask the opinion of someone about ANYTHING just cause he is (or was) successful as an actor or a singer or whatever with much publicity involved.
These people usually get ridiculed by their actions (like clinton and his blowjobs or bush and his "hehe-look-at-them-shitheads-oops-the-microphone-is-on" accidents) and noone seems to remember. The world is easier on them. I don't know why.
So, it's not a matter of recent accoplishments. More like why should any accomplishment mean anything more than the accomplishment itself?
(especially now with the war, I'm soooo tired of listening to artists have their opinions asked. Why are THEIR opinions more important than ours?)
by necropethamenos at April 4, 2003 4:06 AM
Necro raises a good point as usual. People in the spotlight have opinions like anyone else. Yet theirs are afforded more weight than ours based solely on their occupation. But I must have missed Bush's latest verbal misstep. We don't get fooled again!
by Anna at April 4, 2003 7:38 AM
Matthew Broderick could do B movies for the rest of eternity, that will never change the greatness of Ferris Bueller's day off.
by Linz at April 4, 2003 9:15 AM
Amen Linz. One of the greatest movies of all time.
by Ezy at April 4, 2003 9:54 AM
Broderick has been doing well on broadway with the Producers. he was in Election a few years ago and Godzilla before that. He probably isnt starving but no he isnt quite the cutie he was in Ferris... which is on DVD now, screw that, its on TCM this month in wide screen. Think I'll be recording it there before I get the DVD unless of course there is some kind of wonderful john hughes, broderick commentary track.
by eff at April 4, 2003 10:37 AM
Obviously you didn't see any of Broderick's TV remake of the movie man. After that, Ferris Bueller is dead to me.
by mg at April 4, 2003 10:38 AM
Well, I stand corrected. Still, he did off that dude and got off scot free. And here's the weirdest part: While I think I likes Ferris Bueller's Day Off, I can't remember anything about it. Drain bamage, I guess.
by Anna at April 4, 2003 6:10 PM
It's not like he is the only "celebrity" to do something awful and get away with it. Besides for OJ, I seem to remember Tommy Lee being involved in some kids death, Halle Berry's hit and run, and of course Ted Kennedy, who drowned his girlfriend and still managed to get elected for another 30 years.
by mg at April 4, 2003 6:24 PM
Funny you should mention that. I guess my hatred of celebs knows no bounds, which I've made pretty clear here. But when Berry was blubbering on & on over her undeserved award, I could only think about that nasty incident.
by Anna at April 4, 2003 6:35 PM
What I don't understand is why people attribute great movies to the actors who appear in them.
Psycho wasn't a great movie because of the girl who gets killed in the shower, it was Hitchcock that made that movie. Ferris Bueller wasn't a great movie because of Matthew Broderick's wooden acting.
Long live great directors and writers may their names never die. (who directed that movie anyway?)
by ChuckWoolery at April 5, 2003 6:51 PM
I guess that's what confuses me about the cult of celebrity. I agree that movies can be a great artform form and expression of creativity. Most of the creativity and "Art" doesn't come from the actors who appear in them (with some very notable exceptions of course, there are many movies that have been made by the actors appearing in them, I would just argue that they are the exception, not the rule)
Matthew Broderick will never be recognized as one of the great actors of his time. Probably the greatest accomplishment he'll have is marrying Sara Jessica Parker... which I think is a significant accomplishment all by itself
by ChuckWoolery at April 5, 2003 6:56 PM
Interesting that you'd raise that point, Chuck, as I've been working on a post that does just that. Actors and news anchors are hailed and paid as superstars for reading lines that unsung and underpaid writers agonized over. Nice to see I'm not alone in this view.
by Anna at April 5, 2003 9:38 PM