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jen x

I've never done this before, but...

by jen x at 01:03 AM on April 22, 2003

I realized recently – and a friend helped by naming the condition – that I am flypaper to virgins and near-virgins.

I have, in my sexual past, slept with two virgins, turned down two others, and slept with at least one guy who had very (as in, I was his second) limited experience.

It all began way back in grade school, when none of us really had any experience and we were all getting it with each other. I was propositioned for sex at the ripe old age of 13 or 14 by a guy who was only a year or two older than I – so part of me hopes that he, too, was a virgin.

And it continues to this day, many years later. In fact, within the last few weeks I had a semi-proposition tossed my way by an old friend with limited sexual knowledge, shall we say.

Now, I’m experienced enough to know that just ‘cause someone hasn’t been driven around the block, it doesn’t mean that they don’t know what they’re doing – or at least aren’t willing to learn.

I’ve been with experienced guys that were set in their ways: “This is the way I do things, and you can either come from it or hate it.” Needless to say, I wasn’t very encouraged, nor was I particularly enthusiastic during the pumpin’ and grindin’ portions of the evening.

I’ve been with some virgins or near-virgins who had it going on in the mad skillz department, and the memories put a smile on my face. Hell, it was a near-virgin that taught me that I could come from sex.

But in the end… I gotta ask, why the hell are they coming after me?! Why go after the girl who talks a good game but puts out about as often as the Leafs win the Cup?

And it’s not just the inexperienced guys who go after me, but the inexperienced girls, too. Well, one girl I don’t know what her past was like, but another one had only sorta been with another girl, and she was hitting on me. Mind, she hit on everything that breathed, so I guess that’s not fair, but still…

I think playing teacher is all well and good, and hell, it makes for a great fantasy game, but at the same time, it’s nice to be with someone with confidence and the mad skillz to back it up. It’s nice not to have to tiptoe as carefully around someone else’s ego, and it’s great to know that you can bounce someone about the bed without worrying that they’re going to get scared and bolt for the door – they know the best is yet to come.

I guess I should be flattered, and it's not like I've never learned from my little newbies (still with that new car smell) -- see above -- but still... ah well. Someday.

comments (9)

I can't believe a girl who writes porn does not put out. heh...

Having recently snagged a virgin (my first since... my First...), I can definitely agree with you. Experience does not always correlate with quality. It's like... the inexperienced are actually in the moment instead of being on autopilot.

How psyched am I about today's chick sex forum?! YEAH!

by Linz at April 22, 2003 10:45 AM


Autopilot!? Damn! I didn't know we had those.

by Ezy at April 22, 2003 11:55 AM


It's odd to think that virginity was considered a prized characteristic not so many years ago. The only one I had any experience with was in college. Once she got started, it was like she wanted to make up for lost time. This led to a rather embarassing situation involving.... her dad.

by Anna at April 22, 2003 6:50 PM


"her dad"?
"embarrassing"?
The following has nothing to do with virginity but everything to do with dads and embarassment:


I was 19. She was 17.
Over here it's illegal to have sex with anyone below 18 years old. Of course everyone does it, illegal just means her dad can sue you!!


So her parents were away. And I just met her 3 hours ago. And things go too well and we're kissing for hours and I just got my car and she says "it's late let's go home".
So I drive her home (unbelieveably proud I actually own a car to drive someone home!) and she says "my parents are away, you wanna come up?"
I had never been so lucky, so I automatically followed, feeling THAT was my night.
It was. All mine.
So we go to her room and start. Within 0,5 minutes all clothes were off. Within another 5 I was in (remember how horny some hours of kissing make you?). After another minute or two we hear the keys on the door.
So she's all panicked and tells me to go out to the balcony. Not a bad idea actually considering her dad was about to check on her.


Did I mention her dad had guns in the living room?
He had.


So I grab my clothes and head out. On my way I step inside a garbage can and my foot gets stuck in it. I keep on jumping with my other foot and walk/jump out.
So there I am on the outside of the 1st floor, just over a central street with some hundreds of people walking by and probably seeing a naked guy trying to get a garbage can off his foot. Which means I CAN'T GET DRESSED!
Her dad walks in and for some (inexplicable) reason KNOWS there was someone there (how do they DO it?). I hear him yelling etc and then he comes to check out where I'm hiding.


Feeling like an overwheight version of Indiana Jones (or spiderman maybe) I jump off the balcony and end up on the street. Still naked. At least I was alive.
So I head for my car as discreetly as possible (people walk by etc), get inside, finally remove the garbage can, dress up and flee.
I get home. BUT something's missing.
My wallet. Which means my ID.
2 days later I received my wallet in a package with her dad's name on.


If anyone has ever felt any more embarassed than that, he should get the nobel prize.

by necropethamenos at April 23, 2003 1:55 AM


Necro, that's fucking hilarious man. I had a similar thing happen that involved an angry Dad, a shotgun chambered with rock salt, and public nakedness. It's hard to appear nonchalant when your willy is hanging in the breeze, no?

by Ezy at April 23, 2003 9:25 AM


Well, I guess my experience with Virgin Liz wasn't so bad after all. Afte he caught us going @ it in her breakfast nook, he and his wife wanted to engage us in a reasoned discussion about protection, risks inherent in sex etc. We just wanted to finish what we'd started.

by Anna at April 23, 2003 6:37 PM


Linz, I didn't say I didn't put out... just that I'm choosier about it than some people think. :)

Mind you, one of my sites did net me an invitation for monkey sex if I'm ever in Vancouver. Yay for horny Internet geeks. ;)

by Jen X at April 23, 2003 10:10 PM


I have trouble keeping y'all straight but if you are who I think you are I'd have thought the same thing. You are the hottest commentator on this site. Cool screen name too. Post again soon.

by Anna at April 24, 2003 1:48 AM


lol

Poor baby.

Well, if you are looking for mad skillz, then I can promise you nothing less then massive, stroke inducing multiple orgasms.

And some peach cobbler.

by Raven Lee at June 6, 2003 8:30 PM