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he knows how many freckles she's got
by mg at 07:43 AM on April 07, 2003
I’d like to take a moment to thank Shannon and her husband, who is a regular commenter around here but for some reason I get the impression he doesn’t want to reveal his true identity. From everything I’ve heard about them, I kind of wish Shannon were my sister too. Except maybe for the fact all those fantasies about Linz would take on a disturbing, yet still somehow sexy, twist.
Anyway, you two are so far the only people nice enough to buy me something for my birthday. I really love you tree-hugging bastards. Thanks. Every time I pleasure myself to the moving image of a prepubescent Natalie Portman, I’ll be thinking of the two of you.
There is still plenty of time for the rest of you asshats to buy me something off my wishlist. Just so you know, the only thing I have to live for is the expectation of coming and finding something fun in my mailbox that isn’t gel-filled and battery-operated. So, if you want to make my life worthwhile, buy me something already!
comments (18)
I would like to testify that while Shannon is a tree-hugging liberal, her husband is a suburban-driving, gun-toting redneck.
MG, I would buy your love if I had money. Instead, I will thumb my nose at the concept of showing my love through shallow material possessions, and pretend that I would hate to have lots of money.
by Linz at April 7, 2003 9:31 AM
Shallow material possessions are the only socially acceptable way of showing love over long distances.
Besides sometimes shallow material possessions just show appreciation for running such a good site etc... as opposed to love. Some of us don't like men that way. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
How old will this birthday make you anyway MG?
by ChuckWoolery at April 7, 2003 2:29 PM
There are other ways of showing love over long distances. Unfortunately, most of them are illegal.
As for how old this will make me... is pretty old a specific enough answer? Actually, I might as well say, I'm going to be 27. Still two more birthdays away before I have to start lying about my age.
by mg at April 7, 2003 2:42 PM
"Angel - Season One"??? i had no idea...
by JC at April 7, 2003 5:09 PM
I am deathly afraid of any commercial internet sites. I fear somebody will run off w/ my ID and assume my $10000 VISA debt. But I do have a little something for you. You'll see it belatedly at the big bash this summer.
by Anna at April 7, 2003 6:04 PM
LOCKHEED just spent his last $3000 u.s. cash on the classic, .32 karat, round cut, Tiffany's engagement ring. Fuck the CBOT. Lockheed lays claim on another man's daughter. I will have something in this putrid sentient existenct. I WILL HAVE SOMETHING. And uh, yeah, I might as well buy you something too MG. I'll just max out my credit line, before Citibank realizes I was a bad loan... Write it off suckers, $100,000. Oh, I still have some Israeli Shekels left over from Tel Aviv...
by LOCKHEED at April 7, 2003 6:23 PM
I'll buy you Gaiman's Coraline, but I highly recommend the AUDIO VERSION. IT'S INCREDIBLE. But since you want the bookworm version. I'll just have to give that to you. It's fucking awesome. But seriously, the AUDIO VERSION with Neil Gaiman imitating an little English girl's voice is sexy as all hell.
by LOCKHEED at April 7, 2003 6:28 PM
I'm glad you're digging Leon! Thanks for the site MG. Yes, it is true, I am not the tree-hugging liberal you thought. I am, however, for spiking trees, which is more than I can say for all these lily-livered liberals. Alas, my Shannon is liberal enough for three or four hearty souls. Yes, I drive a Suburban, which at last check pulled down an astounding 11 mpg. I wish they would develop some sort of on-highway refueling system like they use for aircraft. It is a 4wd, which is part of the reason my lovely Shannon and her delightful sister call me a redneck. It has a slight lift, and big, noising tires. Again, they call me a redneck. As an aside, if the price of crude is down so low that OPEC is considering cutting production, why the fuck is petrol so expensive. However, I take exception to the statement Linz made. I was a member of the NRA since the 4th grade (sub-junior member, actually). I competed in small bore target competitions. I grew up with guns. I owned guns. I never, ever, carried a weapon in my car or on my person in a public or semi-public environment. I met my Shannon. I got married. I sold my .45 Colt Compact and ended my NRA membership. I am DAVID's overdeveloped sense of compromise. I am DAVID's resentment. I currently do not "tote" a gun. Nor, I am told, will I ever again. I do, however, own a very sharp and very large machette which I use to cleave would be assasins. I serve their body parts to our carnivorous American short-hair. But I always save their eyes for my "collection". Anyway, your welcome MG.
by Joseph at April 7, 2003 8:26 PM
It should have read "assassins". Sorry 'bout that. They just make me so crazy.
by Joseph at April 7, 2003 8:30 PM
You're going to be waiting by your mailbox for a while because that free FedEx SuperSaver shipping is slow. Better late than never.
by MrBlank at April 8, 2003 9:26 AM
Anna, not buying stuff online bc you might get your identity stolen is like not driving a car bc you might die in a wreck. It's just not worth denying yourself the convenience.
by Linz at April 8, 2003 10:23 AM
PS: You are much more likely to get your identity stolen offline than you online.
by mg at April 8, 2003 10:32 AM
Are you sure they aren't ninja assassins Joseph? Because if they are, you had better watch out and make sure they don't flip out and kick you right in the face. When they aren't flying, of course.
by quicksilver at April 8, 2003 11:53 AM
Quicksilver, some are sweet ass Ninja assassins and some are communist sympathizers. It makes no difference to me which I cleave. I will acknowledge that the Ninja assassins are a bit tougher because of their real ultimate power.
by Joseph at April 8, 2003 1:20 PM
Actually I have bought one thing online. I own a plot on the moon, right next to Tom Cruise's. If it didn't belong to my son, I'd give it to MG. It will be worth big bucks someday. It say so right on the damn internet.
by Anna at April 8, 2003 6:27 PM
Explain..
by abby at April 14, 2003 10:31 PM
What the hell are you huys into here?
Some deep and obscure intelectually involved chat scene.
It reads well..........who are you anyway?
respond if you like .....otherwise burn it..............
by slack at July 22, 2003 10:12 AM
Welcome to the madness, Slack! You can check the homepage for the newest stuff.
by jean at July 22, 2003 11:05 PM