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guest

If he married me, it'd only be for the honeymoon that he'd be naked

by guest at 03:00 PM on March 18, 2003

<ed note>I think it’s about time to lighten the mood around here. Since, Revenge of the Nerds references aside, I’m not much in a frivolous state of mind, I thought I’d let someone else take a shot at it. This guest writer is looking for a shot in the regular rotation. Let her know what you think.</ed note>

Today I confirmed my long-held suspicions that I am, in fact, a geek.

Not only did I watch an entire episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation (I know, that's nothing) -- the only one worth watching, bar none... an opinion that probably lowers me to only pseudo-geek in the eyes of many -- but I then followed it up with a brief discussion of TNG with my dad, and then an immersion into First Contact. The latter was shared with my cat, who nuzzled the crap out of me. She may too be a geek.

Unfortunately, this experience was cut short by my needing to depart for class, but not before I had come to a realization:

I have a crush on William Riker, which is what makes a geek-loser, actually.

Ooh, I bet I offended some people there. Please keep in mind; I’m merely poking fun at myself here, no one else. If you’re in love with William Riker and watch ten million episodes of every Star Trek thing under the sun, then I’m happy for you. But he’s mine, and I’m going to marry him. So there.

Anyhow, it’s not so much Will Riker that I have a crush on so much as the romantic line between him and Deanna Troi. No, I’m not angling for a threesome although I have always thought she was the hot one. Hrmm.

Sorry, where I was I? Oh yes, romance. I’ve always been a sucker for romantic angles like these - old flames that persist like theirs, or unrealised love. That last one is a plotline that’s as old as prime time television: Caroline and Richard on Caroline in the City; Carrie and Aidan on Sex and the City (although that’s different and a whole other article); Tony and Angela on Who’s the Boss? - I could go on, but my knowledge of television is somewhat limited.

There’s something about that type of romance that really appeals to me. I guess it’s because I’ve been in the "I want him and I can’t have him" shoes so often that I completely understand it, and when it’s a guy yearning after a woman, it’s touching and payback at the same time.

Of course, it’s television ratings suicide when these characters unite, but it goes to show that I’m not the only one that feels this way. Lots of people like to see fictional people bashing their heads against the Brick Wall of Love, only to suffer the Concussion of Crushing, Heartbreaking, Unhappiness of seeing their True Love date Loser after Loser.

Maybe we’re all just malicious assholes at heart.

comments (14)

Not for nothing, but are you hot for first season clean shaven Wil Ryker, or later days, bearded, much hotter Will Ryker.

by mg at March 18, 2003 3:10 PM


Bah! I don't know any of your references, but I always considered myself more of a malicious nostril.

by Linz at March 18, 2003 4:15 PM


Oops, I should have stated: I think I prefer older, bearded (or shaven) Will. Young, shaven Will just looks kinda immature. Scrawny.

Like I'd break him if I took him for a bounce around the bed.

by A nonny moose at March 18, 2003 4:57 PM


I agree about the TV couples doing the nasty. It ruins the sexual tension.

by Anna at March 18, 2003 6:10 PM


I'm more of a Farscape type than Star Trek, (and I wouldn't mind rubbing off all of Chiana's grey body paint on my sheets) but no one in Star Trek TNG really floats my boat. Although, there were a few from the original Star Trek that were hotties. I got something you can beam up, Uhura!

http://www.sixtiescity.com/startrek/LOST/Lost.htm

by MrBlank at March 18, 2003 8:26 PM


Shaved Will was hotter. But come on, Wesley Crusher was the babe on TNG. =D

by gord at March 18, 2003 10:41 PM


I don't understand why you women don't totally dig Worf. Or Data. I bet Data's a lovemakin' MACHINE.

by Lurker at March 18, 2003 10:58 PM


Data gets extra points because Brent Spiner is Texan. I don't know what it is about those Texans, but... whew! IMHO, Spock is looking good lately (got that grizzled, artsy look), and early Bashir from DS9 was a cutie. If you include other sci fi, then Kyle Maclachlan (Dune) will always, always be my guy.

by jean at March 19, 2003 2:07 AM


I like Farscape too. As for this Lady's bid for the BSBOT roundtable, I'd have to say, is this the best you can do? I do think BadSam needs more TRULY FEMALE writers, but since Everyone Seemed to Dodge the issue of whether or not your worthy of the BSBOT Roundtable, that should be a sign that they weren't crazy about the post. Lockheed thought it was lame. It takes a thick-skin to write for the public, maybe MG should let you try again, hint: Write something a little less straightjacketed.

by LOCKHEED at March 19, 2003 4:17 PM


Sorry, I wasn't sure if I should go on a full-tilt "why I love my vibrator" post or not. If I get a second chance, by all means, I'll try to be less straight.

by A nonny mousse at March 19, 2003 11:45 PM


I'm finding myself saying this more and more often, but I agree with Lockheed. I know you've got some real naughty in you, so you definitely get another shot to woo the crowd.

by mg at March 20, 2003 12:06 AM


Yeah! More naughty! More naughty!

Lockheed... are you referring to my man-like tendencies or (m)Anna's?

by Linz at March 20, 2003 11:33 AM


I agree with Lockheed too!!! Lockheed is all-wise! All hail Lockheed!

by Eviltom at March 20, 2003 11:50 AM


Yeah, I wasn't going to say anything. I think the writing style is tremendous but the vibrator subject matter sounds a lot more BS-esque. The other problem w/ this one is what Linz said: "Bah! I don't get your references..." Another chance, I say. Vibrators! Yikes!

by Anna at March 22, 2003 1:53 PM